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And Many More
Violet & Cinnamon
It got eerily quiet in the West Wing as the hour grew late. C.J. closed her laptop, casting a doleful look at the black balloon bobbing against her ceiling. She sighed heavily and lowered her head onto her desk, hands lightly rubbing her shoulders.
There was a knock on the open door. "Claudia Jean?"
Without raising her head, she muttered, "I don't want to hear it, Josh."
Josh grinned and tugged playfully at the balloon string. "Hear what? I wasn't going to say anything about--"
"Stop!"
"Your birthday." C.J. groaned. He chuckled. "You shouldn't torture yourself about it, C.J. It's really not a big deal."
"It is a big deal!" She looked up at him, her voice tremulous. "I'm getting old. I'm going to start growing a beard."
He looked at her quizzically. "Forty isn't old -- and why would you grow a beard?"
"Hormones, Josh!" She ran her hands through her hair anxiously. "When women get older, eventually we hit menopause, and then our bodies change and our ovaries--"
"Okay, no," he interrupted, shaking his head. "No, no, no."
"Well, they do."
"I'll take your word for it."
"Hey." Sam ambled in.
"C.J.'s upset." Josh sat on her couch.
Sam frowned. "Why?"
"Why? Sam--"
He cut her off. "I mean, you were fine earlier."
C.J. shrugged, angry that she was feeling sorry for herself, but not angry enough to stop. "Earlier I was working. Now it's the end of the day and I have to go home and be forty years old!"
"Well, here." Sam produced a cupcake from behind his back. "It's a cupcake."
"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" She watched Sam place the cupcake on her desk.
He looked at her with a playful gleam in his eye. "It's sugar. Sugar makes everyone feel better."
"You didn't even light the candle." C.J. stared forlornly at the treat.
"Why didn't you bring me a cupcake?" Josh asked.
"It's not your birthday."
"You know," Josh stood and walked to the doorway. "I've never understood why women get so bent out of shape by their birthdays."
"Do you want me to start talking about my ovaries again, Joshua?"
Sam reached out and grabbed a little frosting with his finger. "I'm with Josh on this one. What's the big deal?"
"I'm getting old." C.J. finally looked at Sam. "The big deal is that I'm getting old. And you... you're going to be unnaturally young-looking until you're eighty."
"What? I don't--"
Josh stepped back into the room. "Actually, you do kind of look abnormally young."
"I do?" Sam grinned.
C.J. nodded. "You're boyish."
"Boyish?"
"Almost disturbingly so." Josh snagged a blob of frosting and licked it off his finger.
C.J. glared at Sam and Josh. "Leave the cupcake alone." She sighed. "Guys, I just -- I just need to be alone, okay?"
"You sure?" Josh asked, studying her face.
She rubbed her forehead. "It's been a long day."
"We'll let you be." Sam smiled warmly at her and went to the door. Josh shot a longing glance at the cupcake and followed him out.
C.J. leaned back in her chair, tired and frustrated. She sat still, gazing blankly at the dimly-lit hallway beyond her office. After a little while, Toby came down the hall and stepped into her office.
"Hey. Here." He handed her a stack of papers. "It's tomorrow night's AIDS research statement."
She flipped through the speech and placed it on top of her computer. "I'll look it over in the morning."
"Yeah. There aren't any big surprises in it, or anything. I just figured I'd drop it off so you could go through it when you have time."
Toby started to leave. C.J. called him back. "Toby?" He turned to face her. "Thanks for not making a big thing about -- you know."
He nodded. "I didn't think you needed to be reminded. It's not the best birthday."
"It's a rotten birthday," she replied miserably, covering her face with her hands. "I'm so tired. It's like I hit a wall. I didn't feel this old yesterday."
Toby walked up to her desk. "You're not--"
"I feel like it," she lamented, on the brink of tears. "I know I shouldn't make a big deal out of it, but it's just this big reminder that I am getting older, and less desirable, and--"
"C.J., look at me."
"No."
"C.J."
She lifted her head. He fixed her with a steady look. "You have never looked more beautiful than you do today. You have nothing to worry about." Before she had time to respond, Toby leaned down across her desk, kissed her gently and swiftly on the cheek, and walked out.
C.J. sat, stunned, for a few moments before she recovered herself. She brushed her fingers softly against her cheek, then pushed her hair back with a small smile. She stood up, gathered her things, and reached for the cupcake Sam had left her. She took a big bite and walked lightly to the door. She paused before turning out the lights, and took hold of the string dangling from the black balloon. As she strolled out of the office, it drifted along cheerfully behind her.
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