The Road to Self Discovery
Things always happen for a reason. In the year 2000, I decided to begin my baccalaureate degree at the St. George’s University School of Sciences in Grenada. I have applied and got accepted into the St. George’s University School of Sciences. Along with this, I received a full scholarship from the government of Grenada to pay for my tuition for the bachelor’s degree in Biology and Education. However, it was not meant to be. The institution had stopped that specific program; consequently, I didn’t get to begin classes. The scholarship could not have been diverted anywhere else, thus that aim was not a reality. Nonetheless, in October of the same year, I started my secondary teacher training program at the T.A. Marryshow Community College (TAMCC). At the end of my study I got the ultimate surprise.
I went to the TAMCC from 1996 to 1998 to do my A’ Levels and Associate Degree in Science. It was a challenging time for me with my academics. I virtually struggled each semester to obtain a G.P.A. of 2.0, there were times when I did or did not make it. Consequently, I didn’t graduate in 1996. However, I retook a course and graduated with my associate degree in Science in 1998.
I was skeptical about going back to TAMCC. I believed that I’d be reliving my college nightmare. I was determined however to begin schooling again. It was time to further my education and I wanted an extended vacation from the workplace. On the first day, my fears became overwhelming. First, in the class there were teacher-students who were very successful academically. Then, we were told that we had to write an individual study (thesis), do practice teaching, and take a University of the West Indies Exams. Finally, we had to pass every course in order to become a qualified secondary teacher. I thought, “Why am I kidding myself?”
I was a role model to many since I was a teacher in the St. David’s Catholic Secondary school for over three years and a form mistress of form 5 students (exam class). It was expected of me to do very well. This gave me the extra motivation to desire success. I could not be a failure for my students and myself. With that determination, I received high grades in my tests and was doing very well in all of my classes. My classmates were also doing extremely well. I was pleased. We were leaving up to our expectations as teachers. We were in a tight race in determining who’d be the most successful.
May 2002 was the most difficult time of my life. On the twelfth, my father had passed away. I was devastated. I was an emotional wreck. May was also the final month of my preparation for examination in June. I was unable to study during those two weeks. I thought that there was no hope for me and failure was inevitable. However, I was able by some miracle to get some relief from my grief. I’ve gotten the strength to study and made my preparations. I wrote my exams in June, despite being sick during one of them. I was uncertain of what the outcome of my results will be like.
July began, and it was now graduation. All my fellow classmates and I were graduates. We were each awarded a certificate of qualification as a trained secondary teacher that day. It was now the special awards section of the ceremony and the best performers from the different departments were awarded.
“The best performing teacher is Stacey Paryag with a G.P.A. of 3.74,” said the master of ceremony.
I could not believe my ears. I was shocked. I had the best performance overall among us teachers. Of course, I wanted to scream, but I was in an official ceremony and I had to be on my best behavior. I couldn’t stop smiling. I was applauded as I hurriedly walked up the aisle, feeling a little nervous as all eyes were on me; but proud of myself. I received my second certificate and was congratulated. When I returned to my seat I became a bit sad though. I wished my father was here, but then I thought to myself, “He is seeing me.” I then became overjoyed and pleased.
Reflecting on this moment, I’ve realized that I must never underestimate my capabilities because of past experiences. I have the ability to do whatever I put my mind on and focused all my energies upon. I must never doubt myself, instead I should persevere instead. I’ve realized that I have the ability to work under pressure especially when many people have high expectations of me. I was very angry when I didn’t get to start classes in St. George’s University, but maybe it just had to happen that way for me to have that great success in Teachers’ College, and for me to realize that I can do anything I want to do no matter the circumstances. With that self discovery, I left my homeland and ventured into Texas to attain my bachelor’s degree in Science, majoring in Biology and Medical Technology.
Midwestern State University ----> www.mwsu.edu
St. George's University -------> www.sgu.edu
T. A. Marryshow Community College ------> www.tamcc.edu.gd
Copyright 2003
Property of Stacey Paryag