2004-01-07 - 1:02 A.M.

Love has got to be the scariest emotion. In a world where even your parents can move on and stop loving each other what hope is there for us stupid teenagers. I found out today two of my friends broke up. They were engaged. I don't know why it's so shocking when I did the same thing last month. I guess the weird thing is how I didn't find out about it 'til today when it happened weeks ago. I wish I could've been there for them. I'm finding out I was needed too late and now the mending is already practically through.
It's also scary to look back and see how much all of my friends and I talked abotu love. How sure we were that we were in it. How did we know? Especially considering we were all wrong. Well, except for one instance. And I still don't handle that like I should. I just don't understand where I went wrong. Maybe it's mainly jealousy that I always seem to be about 6 steps behind everyone. Even when I'm neck-n-neck, it's just a Trick done with smoke and mirrors, I'm still at the end of the race. And I just torment myself sometimes wondering how far behind i really am. What don't I know about what's happened? Do I even want to know? Why can't life be "normal" where everyone tells everyone else about how far they went and what it was like without having to worry that you'll think about your best friend fucking your boyfriend?
I want the impossible. Serve it up, fate.

Mood: Dark
Current Music: Terrible Lie by |\|||/|

previous - next