Chapter Six - The Bacchanalia

Spike woke up feeling incredibly horny. It was a different feeling compared to his usual horniness but he knew the sensation. Dru was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't sure what he would do with her anyhow. Gavin had a point. Would he even know what to do as a woman? Would Dru be interested in a homosexual romp? He had wondered from time to time about her and Darla but dismissed the idea. Darla didn't like Dru well enough. He couldn't imagine them wanting to be intimate. And if they had Angelus would have wanted to watch and Spike would have heard about it in great bragging detail.

He went out into the living room wearing only underpants; he wasn't used to the idea of needing a bra. Dru sat on the floor studying a spread of tarot cards before her. The telly was on loud, showing "Doctor. Who." Spike didn't know what Dru saw in the show.

He reached down and massaged her shoulders. She rested her head back against him, brushing against his crotch. That familiar motion made his arousal increase a hundred fold. It was uncomfortable, feeling damp and cave-like. He could smell his arousal. It was embarrassing. Did Dru feel like this when she looked at him?

If he could blush he would have as he knelt down, wrapping his arms around Dru. He rested his chin on her crown.

"What are you doing, poodle?"

"Looking at all the bugs caught in the web."

"Gavin's sister, you mean?" He massaged her back and reached around to caress her breasts.

Dru moaned, thrusting herself back against him. "The cards won't talk." She slapped the design, flipping cards everywhere.

"It's all right, baby. It's all right." Maybe if she turned off that insipid Tom Baker with that ridiculous scarf, she could concentrate but Spike didn't voice this thought.

He kissed her gently. Dru turned in his arms to wrap her willowy limbs around him. The kiss deepened. Dru's hand brushed the soft cotton of his underpants, creating a small flood. Spike pushed away with a throaty groan.

"I can't do this."

He rolled to his feet and stormed into the bedroom. He slammed the door so hard it splintered. Spike threw himself into a cold shower, scrubbing frantically. Orgasms weren't supposed to dribble coldly down the insides of one's thighs. It made him feel dirty. How could something like that make Dru scream with such joy?

Feeling weaker with each lather up, he collapsed down and huddled up over his knees. Water cascaded over his back, mirroring the tears that poured down his face. When Spike had cried himself out he got out of the shower, threw on a robe and went back into the living room. Dru had moved her tarot cards to a different section of the floor and Gavin had arrived with his suitcase again. Spike dreaded what was inside. "Doctor. Who" had been replace by "Space 1999" on the telly.

"Sorry, Dru," Spike said softly.

Her blue eyes came up and met his. "It's nothing, my love. Look here. The betrayer." Dru pointed to the Empress card lying over the King of Wands.

"Gavin's sister?"

"She's drawing us in. All we have been told is wrong." She tapped the Tower card. "But in the end we will win and the coins will flip again."

"What about the fellow with all the swords sticking out of his back? That looks bad," Spike said.

Dru stroked the card, a dreamy look in her eyes. "That's your past."

"Yeah, swords all right."

"I imagine Spike is getting desperate for his sword back," Gavin said, making jacking off motions.

"You have no idea. Did you find out about last night?" Spike sat on the couch with Gavin.

"Marta didn't know why Telyn didn't show at the benefit but she was the reason they left. She got word to them they were in danger and needed to get out of there. Telyn didn't tell them what the danger was so we're still good as far as I can tell," Gavin replied.

"Good because as soon as it's dark I'm settling this with Ethan." Spike said, bobbling one of his bare breasts. "Is the party still on for tonight?"

"Yes."

Spike grimaced, his hand straying back to his chest. Getting up from the floor, Dru came over and slapped him and he let his hand flop onto the couch. "Damn, I was hoping to catch him alone or at least without a huge group in the way."

"Sorry. Just shake your ta-ta's at him. He'll follow you anywhere. You can separate him from the herd," Gavin said, whacking Spike in the chest with a couch pillow.

"Stop that!" Spike crossed his arms over his ample breasts. "And yes I guess I can."

"Stop what? From what I understand those boys are good fucks. You'll enjoy yourself," Gavin said.

Spike looked over his shoulder, reaching back for Dru. Her fingers almost intertwined when he changed his mind. He couldn't handle touching her. "Dru, he keeps encouraging me to take this body for a test run with a man."

"It'll do you good, Spike, to know what it feels like to be a woman under a man. That way you can better know how to please Dru," Gavin said, also looking back at her.

Spike slugged him in the stomach. "I'm going to kill you, you know that."

"You can try." Gavin rubbed his belly. "And look at Dru's face. She's liking the idea."

Spike glanced over at Dru whose generous mouth was pulled into a wide smile. Spike's jaw slowly dropped. "Drusilla!"

She giggled and nipped his neck.

"If you two are going to play let me get my movie camera. I have Super 8 to burn," Gavin said.

"You're such a pervert, Gavin," Spike said.

"You're just figuring it out?" Gavin rolled his eyes. "You really are blond."

Spike tried to go after him but Dru held him down.

"Look at the strange scary pictures." Dru pointed to the television. "This show is disturbing like bitter tea. That man is so odd-looking." She nodded at Martin Landau.

"He's pug ugly. So what? Maya's hot, at least. I mean she's no Emma Peel but she's cute," Spike said then sighed. "Mrs Peel. God Diana Riggs was deadly in those cat suits."

"Now we know why Spike likes this show," Gavin said and Dru nodded unhappily.

"Let's just get a move on," Spike muttered.

"You planning on putting on more than underpants? Granted you'll be more naked than this if those boys get what they want but I'm not driving you through London nude. I brought you presents." Gavin prodded is suitcase.

Spike growled almost cat-like. "Oh, great what now? Another Stevie Nicks outfit?"

Gavin pulled out a piece of denim and winged it to Spike. "Short shorts."

Spike held up the barely there shorts. "I'm not wearing hot pants."

"I knew you'd say that, so I brought these." Gavin took out some slacks. "For Dru and you." He handed Dru the bright ruby satin pants. Spike's pair was gold.

"This leave nothing to the imagination," Spike moaned.

"You're going to an orgy, Spike. You have to look available." Gavin patted the vampire's head.

Spike ducked away. "Oh, I think we'll have no worries in this get up."

Spike and Dru dressed in the satin pants and lace halter tops, black for him, white for Dru. Matching platform sandals went with the ensembles.

"This is skin tight," Spike said, looking over his shoulder trying to see his ass.

"Yes, but that's the point," Gavin replied.

Spike sighed and set Dru down as she brought out a palette of Coty smudge pots, lipsticks and polish. He started putting on her make-up.

"One more thing, Spike. I have this for you." Gavin came up behind Spike and settled something on his head.

Dru burst out laughing, slumping over on the couch. Spike loved seeing her so happy. He just wished she weren't laughing at him.

"What did you do to me?"

"Improved you."

Spike snatched the wig off his head and flung it at Gavin. "Farrah hair?"

"You look like a man in drag with your short hairdo," Gavin argued, putting the wig back on Spike.

"You mean your usual type," Spike shot back, tossing the wig across the room.

"Exactly. The Farrah wig's an improvement."

"No way in hell. Those wankers found me attractive enough as is," Spike said, nearly poking Dru in the eye with a mascara brush. She bit his hand.

Gavin pouted. "You're no fun, Spike."

"This isn't funny," he snarled and went back to making Dru even more beautiful.

She finished his make-up as well and put glitter polish on his nails. Gavin told them of the uproar in England when John Cleese's murdered body had been found outside the benefit hall. Dru babbled happily about all the things they could do when the comedian rose again. When she was done she spritzed Spike with Love's Baby Soft perfume.

"What? I'm not good enough for Enjoli?" He smiled gently and she patted his head.

"You're not even good enough for what she did waste on you," Gavin said, playing with his love beads.

"I am going to pay you back for all of this." Spike promised his face going vampiric.

Gavin laughed loudly backing away. "Sorry…sorry, it just looks so silly you all bumpy with make-up one. You can always quit, Spike. I can get the basket on my own."

"Not going to happen. Let's go. The sun's gone and I need something to eat before we go to this bloody party," Spike said.

The vampires were sated by the time they reached the flat. They had no trouble getting into the place. If he were still a man, this would be the party of Spike's dreams. There were a few more men he didn't know hanging around and there were at least two dozen women, some of whom had already started the naked portion of the festivities.

"Oh, good, you made it."

Spike recognized the girl hurrying toward them as Deirdre. He didn't know the blond with her. "Sounded too good to miss."

"Want something to drink, Gavin?" the blonde asked.

"Thanks, Marta."

"Ooo, darkness. I don't like this. Too much power," Dru said, grabbing Spike's arm with amazing strength.

"Yeah, what is that altar for?" Spike asked, pointing to the corner packed with candles and sigils inscribed all over.

"We're summoning Eyghon. It's Ripper's turn to host him," Deirdre said, then turned to someone calling her name.

"Eyghon," Spike hissed. "No one said anything about demon summoning. I knew these gits were his.. but still.."

"Afraid Spike?" Gavin whispered.

Spike put a cigarette between his lips to keep from biting his companion. "No, but I'm in no mood to be fighting off a demon-charged pervert. All I want to do is get cured. Where is Ethan?"

"I don't see him," Gavin said.

"You look worried," Giles said, coming over to them, this time dressed in black leather pants and a white shirt. A gleaming gold earring played peek-a-boo with his long hair.

"Just wondering where Ethan was," Spike said.

A frown touched Giles' lips. "I was hoping you'd forget about him."

"I was hoping to avoid him myself but it's hard to do if you don't know where he might pop out from," Spike replied.

"I need to find him myself so we can get started," Giles said, heading for the bedroom. They followed.

"How about Telyn?" Gavin asked.

"She's here somewhere," Giles said, his hand on the doorknob. "Hey Ethan, come on, we need to get started.

Giles entered the room and inadvertently stepped into a thaumaturgic circle, his foot kicking a hairbrush out of it. He tried to jump back, hearing Ethan uttering a spell. He didn't make it.

"Son of a bitch! Ripper, do you know what…" Ethan roared but the words died out as the men's eyes met.

Ethan grabbed Giles, kissing him with enthusiasm Spike hadn't seen in ages. Giles wrapped his arms around the thinner young man as they stumbled toward the bed.

"Does 'oops' cover this?" Gavin asked, snickering.

"I hope Ethan is the woman in this relationship, that's all I have to say," Spike grumbled, leaning against the door jamb to watch the ardent kisses and fumblings.

"Are those two ready yet?" Deirdre asked, heading their way. "Oh my God! Thomas, Phillip, get over here. What happened here?"

Dru picked up the hairbrush. "Hearts and flowers. Love's in the air riding on the power like psychedelic butterflies. Changing from one side to the other."

"What she means is Ethan was trying to cast a love spell on whoever this hairbrush belonged to," Spike said.

Deirdre looked at the brush, stared at the lip-locked pair on the bed and burst out laughing. She repeated what Spike said for Phillip and Thomas as they ran over to see what she wanted. Phillip had to lean on the wall to keep himself upright he was laughing so hard.

"Should we stop this before it goes too far?" Deirdre asked. Phillip's answer was to disappear behind another bedroom door.

"Hey, Ethan wanted a love spell. Let him enjoy it," Thomas said.

"Ripper didn't ask for it and he might just kill us if we don't break that spell before he's entirely naked," Deirdre said.

"I'd love to be a part of that sandwich," Gavin mumbled as Phillip reappeared with a camera. He took several quick shots of the now shirtless couple as Thomas and Deirdre set about breaking the spell.

Bored, Spike wandered off with Dru in tow.

"Should I ask why you have my hair brush?"

Spike looked over at the red head who had spoken to him. "Ethan was using it to aim a love spell at you."

A loud crash distracted them all. Ethan was on his back in the hallway with Ripper on top pummeling him. Phillip and Thomas tried to separate them.

"And it hit Ripper?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah. Aren't you Gavin's sister?" Spike asked.

"Yes, and what a shame you two had to let yourselves be associated with him." There was a hint of pain and funerals in her cold smile.

"Get away from them!" Gavin roared.

"So you're the betrayer," Spike said.

"No, not her," Dru said and spun on her heel. "That's the betrayer." She pointed at Marta.

"You bitch!" Marta pulled out a silver wrapped crystal from her pocket and shouted something in Latin.

Dru was lifted off her feet and slammed into a wall.

Spike grabbed Marta by the throat. "You shouldn't have done that."

Before he could morph and tear out her throat, Spike found himself airborne with one slap of Telyn's hand.

"Marta, you idiot, you weren't supposed to reveal yourself yet," Telyn growled.

Both brawls stirred the drunken revelers. Some screamed and headed for the door. Others just watched as if it was a floorshow. Giles and Ethan stopped their fight. Giles made the mistake of trying to help Spike up. Spike rolled to his feet, nearly twisting an ankle unused to the height of the platform sandals he was wearing. He grabbed Giles.

"I have had enough!" Spike's face went demonic. "I've been remarkably patient. One of you blighters cursed this git's poetry book and it turned me into a woman. All I want is for you wankers to turn me back into a man and I just might not kill you all. Ethan, you're the one who did it so fix it!"

"You tried to turn me into a woman? Ethan you bastard!" Giles said, trying to kick free of Spike.

"Shit! No one said anything about vampires. And the spell only lasts three days, Ripper. It was just a lark," Ethan said, disappearing into Giles' bedroom.

"Fine be that way and run!" Spike flung Giles across the room, knocking him out cold. "Dru, baby, are you all right?"

"Ready for fun," Dru said, rubbing her head where it hit the wall.

"Gavin, don't just stand there, help me kill a few of these idiots!"

"You have more trouble than you know," Gavin said. "This has all been a trap for me, hasn't it, Marta? Telyn? There never was any legendary Salisbury Basket. Marta was playing double agent."

"No fucking basket? You mean I've been turned into a bint for nothing!" Spike raged, shoving his way toward where Ethan had fled.

Ethan jumped out, slapping a cross against Spike's face.

Spike shrieked, falling back, smoking. Ethan slithered past him, just as Telyn raised her hands and launched a spell at her brother. Gavin deflected it. Several of the half naked partiers stampeded the front door.

"Deirdre, Phil. Tom, we need a little help," Ethan said. "Oh, good, Ripper's already unconscious. He's ready for Eyghon then."

"Why don't you just make this easy, brother, and just die!" Telyn yelled.

"Why do you want him dead?" Spike asked, poking at the burnt flesh of his face.

"He's a family embarrassment! Imagine being related to a gay incubus! The incubi are supposed to suck the life's breath from women! Women! Our family's the laughing stock of hell," Telyn snarled.

Gavin winged a fire spell toward her but it fizzled. "How about you, Marta?" he asked as Spike got between the door and panicking party-goers. The vampire started feasting.

"She's going to make me a succubus like her," Marta said, raising her wand again. "Now to activate your little trap, Gavin."

"Uh, uh uh." Dru caught her arm and snapped her jaws over Marta's thin neck. She sucked Marta dry and dropped her. "Ah, sweet, the power ripens in me. I could dine on magic forever and day. I feel like a waterfall, a storm."

"That's great, Dru. Help me polish off a few of these idiots," Spike said, snapping the neck of the guy nearest him.

The mortals started parting in front of Spike but it wasn't Dru they fled. A hand shot out and Spike found himself lifted off his feet by his neck. He clamped his hands around the hand tightening on his throat trying to peel away the fingers. He looked down into the face of Ripper Giles and saw the demon looking back at him. Eyghon- Giles flung him away so hard Spike was embedded in the stuccoed walls.

Dru shrieked and ran, not for Spike or Eyghon- Giles, but for those who had summoned the demon. She grabbed Thomas and Phillip, crushing them together so hard bones broke.

"Need to get rid of the magic," she said then picked up Deirdre and implanted her straight through the table.

Eyghon- Giles ignored his friends' peril, ducking as Telyn blasted Gavin out of a window. He peeled Spike out of the wall and rolled him on the floor. Spike got up and shook plaster out of his hair. He tried a roundhouse kick and nearly toppled over. He kicked off the shoes, blaming them. He jumped out of Eyghon- Giles' grasp and tried the kick again. It was still off balanced and ineffectual. He realized his breasts screwed his center of gravity. He didn't know how to fight as a woman. He couldn't compensate correctly. Eyghon- Giles, on the other hand, knew exactly how to fight, Spike realized as he caught a kick in the gut. Dazed for a moment he saw Dru pinning Ethan to a wall ready to sink her fangs into him.

"Dru! Help!" He shouted, humiliated to have to do it. They needed to get out of here.

Dru rapped Ethan against the wall and let his unconscious body fall. She ran for Eyghon- Giles. The possessed young man reached down to haul Spike back up. Spike bit into that grasping hand. Eyghon- Giles yanked away, punching Spike in the face. He booted Spike in the jaw so hard Spike flew across the room. He plowed into Telyn who gazed out the window she had blasted her brother through.

"You stupid little vampire. How dare you touch me?" Telyn heaved Spike up by his hair. Blood was streaming down his face and he was too disoriented to do more than bat feebly at her.

"Only me and Miss Edith can hurt my baby!" Dru shrieked, sinking her nails into the flesh of Telyn's neck. "I'll make the stars scream for joy." Dru tore Telyn's head from her body. She whipped the head out the window and kicked the corpse for good measure. She bent down and picked up Spike. She started carrying him toward the door. Eyghon- Giles got in her way.

"Where are you two lovely bits of flesh going? I have plans for you," Eyghon- Giles said.

Dru dumped Spike on the couch. "No time to play. My Spike needs his mummy."

Eyghon- Giles leered at the satin-clad vampire slumped on the couch. "I can do her there but you ought to be first. I like my women a little on the feisty side."

Dru growled wordlessly and unleashed a hailstorm of fists and feet on Eyghon- Giles who matched her blow for blow. They turned into a flurry of fancy kicks, punches, bites and gouges. But he began to fatigue, his human form not used to such power being housed inside it. Dru took him down with a spin kick. She danced away and surveyed the room. She was the only one left standing. She picked Spike up.

"No time to finish them. Mummy has to make her boy all better," she cooed to the barely conscious Spike.

She carried him before Eyghon- Giles started coming around. While she welcomed a chance to finish him off, her dear Spike was hurt. She had to take care of him first. Gavin's car was locked but that presented little trouble for her. She put Spike in the front seat and went to look for the incubus. She found him trying to get up from where he had landed among the glass shards. She glanced up and saw Eyghon- Giles in the window.

"Time to go before that bad boy starts feeling better," she said.

"I think my leg is broken. Can you give me a hand up?"

Dru hauled him up and carried Gavin back to the car. She dumped him the back seat and got behind the steering wheel.

"Keys," she said.

Gavin handed them over the seat. "Spike took a hell of a beating."

"So did…you," Spike managed to muttered past his swollen lips. "Dru kicked ass."

"I have no doubt," Gavin said as Dru tromped down on the barefoot-shaped accelerator. "Did you kill my sister, Drusilla?"

"She was going to kill my Spike," Dru said, grinding gears as she drove badly away from the flat.

"I'm not complaining. It'll take a day or two for my bones to heal. And Drusilla, thank you," Gavin said.

She beamed at him.

"You're an incubus?" Spike asked.

"Yep."

"No sitting…on Dru." Spike managed to grin.

"I'd rather sit on you but since neither of you have any life's breath it's a moot point. That was one hell of a romp," Gavin whooped, slapping the vinyl seat.

"Glad you…had fun. No basket as a reward…we got our asses kicked except for my dark beauty. You should have seen her, Gavin. And fuck all I'm still a woman," Spike moaned, spitting a clot of blood out the window. "I think that bastard kicked out a few of my teeth."

"They'll regrow and you'll be a man again sometime tomorrow once the spell wears off," Gavin said. "You might even be a man in time for Cleese rising."

"Hell, I almost forgot about that," Spike said, his head lolling on the head rest.

Gavin laughed.

"What's funny?" Spike asked.

"Just imagining Cleese doing the 'ministry of silly walks' skit in vampire face. Think we could get him to do it?" Gavin asked and giggled some more. "Drusilla, dear, drop me at my flat and you two can keep the car."

"Don't like the car," she said but she obeyed.

Dru carried Spike inside their home despite his protests. Once inside she stripped him, cleaned him up and tucked him into bed with Miss Edith. He didn't dare toss the doll out of bed. Dru slid into bed with him, bit her wrist and put it to his lips.

"Drink up for mummy."

"Don't need to baby me Dru," he said irritably but he drank anyhow and fell asleep in her arms.