Author: spookycc

Rating: Possibly PG, nothing more than the ep.

Classification: Fill-in-the-blanks for "Per Manum", Doggett POV.
Scully/Doggett interaction.            DF -- *Doggett Friendly*

Summary: Doggett's feelings during "Per Manum".

Spoilers: Specifically, for "Per Manum". To be safe, for S8 so far. *Except for "Salvage" and "Surekill". Nothing worth pilfering in those eps. <eg>

Disclaimer: No characters, human or canine, are mine. And no dogs were
harmed in the making of this fanfic. :)~

Feedback welcomed at spookycc@earthlink.net

Dedication: As ever, to Doggett's Bitch (f/k/a "Vixen" :). My soulmate,
always.

And for girlassassin, you know why. :)

No beta-reader was used. All typos are my own.

***MSR Shippers, if you're lookin' for flashbacks, you won't find any in here. The Doggship sails at dawn. <eSHODDSg> ***
 

****
 

I have tried to understand this woman, almost since we first met. The bath she gave me that first day intrigued me - who was this ballsy woman? But now, when I think I've put a few pieces together, she knocks the whole damned puzzle onto the floor.

I only listened to Mr. Haskell's story because it was so close to Scully's own story, the one I read about in various X-Files my first weekend here. Had it not been for the similarities, I would have dismissed his claims immediately. I'm trying, though, to "keep an open mind", like Scully is always asking me to. So I'm blown away by her reaction to this case...

Haskell leaves, and Scully thanks me, and tells me that the rest of her
afternoon can't possibly be as amusing as what she just experienced.

She *has* to see the surprise on my face. "I thought you'd find it
interesting, actually." I move from Mulder's desk to my own. Safer
territory.

"Interesting? As in 'preposterous' and 'outrageous'?"

My brow furrows into a frown that reaches my eyes. "Well, unless I'm
mistaken, you already knew that man's story," I continue. She looks at me as though she is actually confused. It's *me* that's confused here. "The abduction, the tests, the bout with cancer, then a remission..."

She paces closer to my desk. Her eyes are dark. "What exactly are you
getting at?"

"That's *your* story, Agent Scully," I try to explain my reasoning. "I'd say right down to a "t"." She fixes me with a hard stare. "I mean, except for the pregnancy. It's all right there in the X-Files."

She glances over towards the file cabinets like she's never noticed them before. She *knows* I read all the files, that first weekend. I told her I did.

Her gaze returns to rest on me. It's not comfortable. "Well, I appreciate your thoroughness, Agent Doggett, and your familiarity with the X-Files cases in those cabinets." I rub the bridge of my nose, trying to ease the headache that started with Haskell and escalated with this unexpected reaction by my partner. She continues. "But my personal files are my personal files... OK?" I've overstepped some boundary that was unmarked - a boundary I didn't even know was there.

I look up to meet a hard stare. "Sure. Of course." I am otherwise totally speechless. She already knew I read the files. Surely we're past the old don't-trust-the-new-guy thing by *now*.

She leaves me to myself, thankfully. Shaking my head, I throw my pencil on the desk. I'm so freakin' frustrated that I almost launch it into the ceiling tiles, instead. What the hell did I do wrong here?!

I give her enough time to go wherever she's going before I head for the
elevator myself. So I'm more than a little surprised when the door opens and she's standing there, deep in thought. "Agent Scully? What're you doin'?"

Scully holds Mrs. Haskell's ultrasound in front of her. She looks miles
away, and tells me she forgot to push the button for the floor she was
heading to. Yeah, sure, happens all the time.

She presses a button, and the doors start to close. I catch one with my
hand, and ask her what she wants me to do about the Haskell case.

"There's nothing *to* do," she states simply. I let the doors close. I think I'll run a quick background check on the Haskell’s, before I let it go.

My partner arrives the next morning in no better a mood than when she left. I finish up the phone call from Dr. Parenti's office, jotting down a number for her. I let her know about the call, and who it was from. They left a message that she'd left an ultrasound there this morning. I let the question hang in the air.

"Dr. Parenti is my doctor."

I'm sure my look is one of disbelief. I'm almost smiling - how can she hide the fact that she's *on* the case? "C'mon, Agent Scully."

"You don't believe me?"

"That ultrasound is the one Duffy Haskell left here yesterday." I'm sure she's investigating this case, but why not let me in on it? "Dr. Parenti is one of the doctors he consulted with during the course of that pregnancy."

Scully closes a desk drawer without taking anything from it. "Excuse me, Agent Doggett, but are you investigating me?"

Jeeeezus. The other agents always talked about how paranoid these two were, but this takes the freakin' cake. "No, I was doin' a background check on Mr. and Mrs. Haskell, before I dropped the case like you asked me to do."

"No, I didn't ask you to drop the case," she shoots back. "I said there was nothing to do."

"Well, if there was nothin' to do, then why are you investigatin' it?"

The drawers are slamming shut a little more loudly now. "You are jumping to conclusions."

I feel like I'm running headfirst into a brick wall. Finally the frustration spills out. "No, I'm just tryin' to do my job, only it gets hard to do when the person you're workin' with is keepin' secrets and tellin' lies."

There. It's out. I've been open and honest with her since my assignment
here. I've told her my side of this, let's see where she's at.

At least her voice is softer, though no less biting. "I am not investigating these people, Agent Doggett. Parenti is my doctor. Is that so strange?" Her expression becomes worried. "Is there something about him I don't know?"

"No." I haven't been into the case enough to find anything out about the doctors involved. I pull the conversation back to the "case", if there is one. "But Duffy Haskell's a piece of work, I'll tell you that much."

Later that day, A.D. Skinner pulls Duffy Haskell into his office, where we confront him with the threatening letters he's written - to Mulder, and to Dr. Lev, whom he claims killed his wife.

Before he leaves, Haskell tells us that there are other women out there just like Cath, his dead wife. He looks at Agent Scully as he says this. He leaves, and I look at her, but her expression is unreadable. As it has been, too often, lately.

****

The ringing phone on my nightstand yanks me out of sleep, and I squint at the time on the clock radio across the room. 2:45 am. This better be
important.

It is. A.D. Skinner asks me if I can head into downtown D.C., to meet with him and Agent Scully. Maybe *now* I'll get some answers.

I park my pickup in front of the small diner, and order a black coffee on my way to the table where they sit. Skinner thanks me for coming. Not like he gave me much of a choice, but I'd have come anyway. I stare into Scully's face across the table, but the look she returns is blank. She has never been so closed to me as she is right now, not since I made up for my horrible means of introduction, back in June.

"You goin' somewhere?" I ask her.

She nods. "Yes." That's all she says.

What the hell is this? If it's a game, I want out. "Am I missin' somethin' here?"

Skinner tells me that Agent Scully has requested a leave of absence.

"Hey, great." That came out too sarcastic, but what the hell. I turn to
Scully. "Can I ask why?"

"No." Why the hell did I even bother trying?  As I pull back into myself, I worry that it's the cancer again. I've read Mulder's reports, written during that dark period, four years ago. I shudder at the thought of going down that road. But I don't know why else she'd be so closed-off to me.

Realization dawns that Scully isn't the *only* one affected by this. I turn to Skinner. "So I'm the X-Files now? Just me?"

Skinner explains that Scully isn't leaving the FBI, just "going away", as he puts it.

That's it? I can't accept that. I thought I knew her better than this. Why won't she tell me what's going on? How much more obvious can it be that I wanna help her?  And she's closed herself off. Fully. She'll barely even make eye contact.

My first reaction is anger. This is not fair.

My second is fear - that she's sick, that she's dying, and she won't let me help her through whatever she must face.

Then sadness sets in. I thought we'd come so far since we met, only to have this wall thrown up in front of me. I cover my sadness with thinly veiled bitterness. "Well, thanks for gettin' me out of bed to give me the news," I nod to Skinner.

The coffee I ordered long forgotten, I stand to go. I turn to Scully, one last time. "Drop me a line, if you get a chance." I hope she hears the worry in my voice. I hope the bitterness doesn't hide it too well. She meets my eyes only briefly, then lowers her head again.

I stalk back to my truck, but her voice stops me before I can get in. "Agent Doggett?"

I close the door and stand to face her over the hood. She continues. "I want you to understand."

I've spent months trying to learn the complexities of this woman. I don't understand her. I don't know if I ever will. I don't even know if she'll ever even give me the *chance*, now. And I can't hide the hurt. "What is it you want me to understand, Agent Scully? The secrets or the lies?"

"I told you, I'm not doing anything behind your back."

"You're supposed to *watch* my back, Agent Scully," God knows I've watched *her* back. We've done that so well since we've been together. I guess she's willing to throw it away for whatever reason she has.

"If I was putting you at risk in any way, you can be sure that I wouldn't let you down," she *seems* sincere. "I hope you know that."

I don't know what the hell I "know" anymore. I *thought* I knew Scully. My reply is more caustic than it needs to be. "I only know what you *tell* me."

She glances behind her at Skinner, who's followed her out. She looks like she wants to say more.

Please say more, Agent Scully. Please tell me what the hell is going on. If I have to lose you, at least let me know why!

"I gotta go," is all she says. She heads back to her car. There is someone waiting in the front seat. I ask Skinner who it is, and he says he doesn't know. I wonder if he's lying...

***

I stare at the ultrasound on the light board in front of me. Tucked into the back corner of the X-Files office, my attention is caught by Agent Farrell. I asked him to check on Haskell's prints yesterday.

He walks through the dim office. "I didn't see you in here, John. What are you doing in the dark?"

My voice is laced with sarcasm. "I'm in the dark pretty much most of my time on the X-Files, Joe."

He shows me Haskell's file. I let him know the case is closed now, and he tells me the case was closed in 1970, when Haskell died. Haskell is a "spook". Or a snake in the grass...

I've been calling Knowle's office all day. He won't return my calls, so I'm hiding in wait, outside his DC office building. He doesn't look pleased to see me. I'm worried, and I don't bother hiding it. I need to know if it's the same guy.

Knowle suggests that it could be intelligence, CIA. But if that guy
"Haskell" *is* CIA, why come to our office at all? Why the abduction story? Unless he wanted to get in our files for documentation.

Knowle promises to let me know who Haskell is, by the end of the day, and I guess I've been dismissed, as he heads off... I'm not sure if I believe him or not. Is paranoia contagious?

By 8:20 pm, I have enough information from various sources that I'm pretty damned sure Scully might be in trouble. Skinner doesn't answer his cell, so I pace in the elevator as it makes its way up to the fourth floor. I catch him on his way out of his office.

"Agent Doggett, what is it?"

"Scully. Do you know where she is, how to alert her right away?"

He gives me a look. I probably look as "spooked" as I did when Tipet was in my head. But then, Skinner didn't really *see* me then, since I was only dreaming it. I wish to hell I was only dreaming *this*.

"To what?"

"I think she's been misled. We *all* have, by this man Haskell."

"You *think*? Or you *know*?"

I shake my head in frustration. "Well, I can't get a straight answer on
that, which leads me to believe that this was a set-up from the start. That this guy Haskell came to us with this story to get Agent Scully to go wherever she's gone."

"I can tell you she's in a safe place, Agent Doggett. A hospital."

Shit! "What hospital?"

He avoids the question.

"Look!" I have to explain to Skinner what I've learned. "This involves
doctors. Doctors who may have killed pregnant women." I see more concern register on Skinner's face. "Now a hospital could be the worst place in the world for her! Tell me where Scully is!" I'm half-pleading, half-demanding here, and I pray to God that Skinner will realize the danger Scully is in, and tell me where she is.

He finally does. She's in a military hospital, and he gives me the name. I ask him to alert security there, and take off to try and get there before anything can happen to her.

***

I'm heading for the main hospital building on-base, driving way the hell too fast. Blue flashing lights off-road grab my attention, and I head that way. As I drive up, one of the military vehicles speeds off in the opposite direction. I debate whether to chase it or not, and almost plow right into an unmarked SUV with no lights on.

Slamming on my brakes, kicking up a dust cloud, I see movement to one side of the vehicle. A green uniform. A splash of red. Scully. Throwing my fleet vehicle into park, I race around the SUV and stop dead in my tracks.

Knowle stands above my unconscious partner, who lies half in and half out of the back seat.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!"

Before he can explain, I shove him out of the way - never mind that he's 6 inches taller and 50 pounds heavier than I am - and lean over my fallen partner. By reflex, I check for a pulse. It's there, strong and fast. But her face is pale. "Is she ok? What's wrong with her?"

"John, if you'll either get in, or get the hell out of the way, we can get her out of here. I just sedated her - she was very upset."

Something doesn't fit right, but I can ask questions later. Lifting her
gently, I slide into the seat underneath her, and hold her too-still form against me. Knowle and the military driver jump into the front seat. The SUV's engine roars to life, and they head for whatever hospital they have in mind.

"Knowle," I yell over the sound of the four-wheel drive. "What happened?" I hang onto Scully for dear life as we bump toward the road. Why the hell didn't I put a seatbelt on? God, please let her be ok.

Knowle turns toward the back seat. "The woman she came here with gave birth - Agent Scully shouldn't have even been on her feet, and I gave her a sedative so she wouldn't injure herself."

I'm puzzled. "*Why* shouldn't Agent Scully have been on her feet?"

A not-impatient sigh from the front seat. "She'd just had - a procedure
done, and she should have been on her back resting."

"What kinda procedure?"

"John, we can talk about it later, ok?"

I give up for now, and concentrate on my partner. Her chest rises and falls gently, with deep breaths. I focus on that, for now, and find my own breathing slows to a more normal rate as well... Absently, I touch a strand of hair that has fallen into her face, and she stirs, just a bit.

We pull into the emergency entrance of a hospital I don't recognize.
Instantly wary, worried, I ask Knowle if he's sure she'll be OK here.

"I know what I'm doing, ok? Let's go."

The driver is also a field medic, and he hurries inside to grab a gurney. They take her gently but quickly from me. Before I am completely out of the vehicle, she is gone.

***

Nothing to do now but wait... She's been out for a few hours, but everyone I've asked - and that would be *everyone* - says that's normal for the drug she was given. Her heart monitor beeps rhythmically beside me. It's weird - when I'm in the hospital myself, I hate those things - I can't sleep over the noise. But now I find it oddly reassuring. Not that I don't check on her myself every few minutes anyway, but the rhythm speaks of life...

As I sit and wait for her to come around, I think about all I've learned since we arrived here. The secret that Scully tried so hard to keep from me. If I'm to believe Knowle, the secret that almost cost Scully her life.

I'm trying to rest a bit, my chin in my hand, when she awakens. "Agent
Doggett."

"Agent Scully," I turn my attention back to her.

"What are you doing here? What am I doing back in this place?" She's afraid, not surprisingly. But she shouldn't be moving around a lot.

She tries to raise herself up, and I gently push her back to her pillow, my hands on her shoulders. "Lie down, Agent Scully. You're not takin' any more chances."

"What happened to me?"

"You're ok." She relaxes, finally, just a bit. "You're fine... Your baby's fine. But you're very, very lucky."

She sighs in relief, and then I see surprise in her eyes. She didn't know that I know. "What about Ms. Hendershot?" she asks.

"She's restin' fine, too."

"What about her baby?"

"Six pounds, eight ounces. A boy," I report.

Scully shakes her head, and lies back into the pillow again. "Oh, my God, they switched it. Agent Doggett, they *switched* them."

"It's over, Agent Scully."

"No. It's not. And we can *prove* this." She sits up once more, resting on her arms.

I've already spent hours on my cell trying to find any evidence we could use to support what Agent Scully believes. There isn't any. "We can't prove *anything*." I keep my voice low, gentle, but I need her to understand this is going nowhere. "They say you over-reacted to everything. They say you over-reacted to fears you had about Ms. Hendershot's pregnancy, to fears you had about your own."

She is insistent. "They showed me a tape of another woman's womb."

I've checked that out, too. "They say it's your baby, just taped onto an old cassette."

"Well then, who were those men?"

"They acted off information that came from me," I admit. I see in her eyes a glimmer of the hurt that's been burning in mine for days now. She thinks I deceived her. She couldn't be more wrong.

I need to explain why I let them take her from the military hospital. "They say they saved your life. How can I question that, standin' there?" Scully's life means everything to me. Whatever information that Knowle's intervention covered up could not be *that* important.

Realization dawns then, in her eyes. "It was all a plan. You know that. From the moment that man walked into our office, we were used to get to Ms. Hendershot's baby, and now we are being used to cover it up." She lets her head fall back into the pillow once more. "Oh my God..."

I shake my head. It *was* a plan. We *were* used. But this could have ended much worse. "At least you're ok."

I wait for a moment, until her eyes meet mine. "Why didn't you tell me?" I try to keep the hurt out of my voice, I really do.

There are tears in Scully's eyes now. "I was afraid. Afraid that they'd use it against me. To take me off the X-Files, so that I couldn't find Mulder." Her voice breaks at the end, and so does something deep inside me.

I lay my hand gently on her shoulder, relieved when she doesn't shrink away. My eyes meet hers once more. "I told you I'd help you. I said we'd find him."

A veil seems to lift from her eyes, and I feel like I'm really *seeing* her, for the first time in days.

I remember the look she gave me in another hospital room, when I told her I had just been assigned to the X-Files. That look was hard, accusing.

This look was open. Maybe I will understand this woman someday, after all. As long as she gives me the chance.

~fini~

Author's Note: My dear friend "Doggett's Bitch" wouldn't let me include this wording (hers :) in the final scene above, but it describes the episode so eloquently that I'm copying it here:

"[Doggett] is trying to tell her that if finding Mulder is her sole reason for existence, he'll move heaven and earth trying to make that happen, even if it means he loses forever what he feels he never really had..."