Chapter 472: Cecile XXVI—Same Page

“What’s on your mind Danny?” Cecile asked, and Dan looked at her, his eyes seemed startled, almost as if he’d forgotten she sat across the table from him. That wouldn’t really surprise her, considering how quiet and pensive he’d been in the past half hour. “Is it the game tomorrow?”

Dan nodded slowly. “Yeah. It is actually, it’s real important, I guess I just don’t want us to slip in the standings, but it’s a four point game, so I don’t even want us to stand still, we need to get all the points we can on Vancouver, you know? I guess, I’m just hoping I do good tomorrow.”

And this was so important to him. She recognized it, this was his job, and he got paid to do it. As devoted as she new Dan to be, of course he would put all of his efforts into it. But really, she couldn’t understand with all of these games they played day in and out, how one could matter more than the other. “Well I’m sure you’ll do your best, Danny, you always do.” She replied. And then an image stuck in her brain, she knew how he got before “important games” and the end result for him usually was messy. “You’re not planning on getting into any fights are you?”

Dan smiled, and she kind of hated that look, it was something patronizing and amused. Well of course she didn’t know everything about this game like he did, but she wasn’t dumb enough not to notice his habits playing it! “Cecile we don’t just sit down and map out when we’re going to fight, I don’t go out there planning it.”

Could have fooled me, Cecile thought. “Then why do you fight?”

“It just happens.”

A reply that struck her as very flimsy, “Danny you don’t just go out and fight someone. It can’t be that easy. You get bloodied up because it just happens? That’s all?”

Dan smiled, and for once this evening he seemed light and casual, as if he’d forgotten the heavy things weighting his mind down. “Actually, babe, that’s how it happens. I mean, we both understand that we’re gonna do it see? But we didn’t step onto the ice planning for it.”

Cecile shook her head and leaned her chin on her palm, peering at her fiancé, “I guess it’s no surprise then how wars get started?”

“Cecile, we’re men, we’re boneheads, I know.” And now he sounded irritated.

When it came to his game, and that was a phrase he used often, “his game” his feelings seemed to get hurt so easily. Hurting his feelings was the last thing on her mind ever, she hated the thought of deliberately harming him, but it got so hard not to whenever it came to talking about some aspects of his sport. Quite simply, Cecile did not understand hockey completely, the rules and goal she understood but the violent element just did not make sense to her. No matter how many times Dan tried to explain it, nothing came clear to her on that, and it always left him a little miffed.

“I just worry about you, honey,” Cecile said, steering away from the touchy subject of violence and to the safer subject of well-being. “That’s all. It’s so scary to see you get hurt or cut, I get so scared for you. I didn’t mean to annoy you about it.”

Dan cut into his steak, “Yeah,” he took a bite, and he looked at her, and he seemed so tired, so distant, so different, that Cecile couldn’t help a frown. “Yeah I know you worry, babe. How about this, I promise that I won’t get into a fight tomorrow. How’s that? I absolutely promise.”

Cecile’s breast warmed through and she smiled, and Dan did not wink or smirk and she knew he wasn’t teasing her. “Dan you’d do that? Really?”

Dan nodded and put his hand over his chest. “I promise babe, I might scrap, I might annoy, I might badger, I might tease out there but I swear to you, just for tomorrow I won’t swing one punch. Not even if Matt Cooke tries taking out my knee caps with a two handed chop, I won’t swing a punch.”

“Dan!” Cecile exclaimed and she reached across the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing his soft fingers. “That’s so sweet honey! You’re such a sweetheart!” She wanted to pull him across the table and pin him in a kiss but that didn’t seem too sensible an idea in a crowded restaurant. “Can you really do that?”

“Pssht!” Dan blew out and he held out his hands with a shrug. “Do you think it’s like required or anything? I don’t have to fight if I don’t want to.”

“Oh,” Cecile said and she interlaced her fingers, a little confused now, “So then why do you fight?” Dan grimaced. And then he looked at his plate. Oh great I did it again, Cecile thought and she said quickly, “Well, hey if this Cooke person lays a two handed chop on your knees then you won’t have to fight, I’ll beat him up myself.” And Dan looked at her with his huge smile and she clasped her hands with relief, grinning back at him.

“You know babe, I bet you would,” he said solemnly. “I mean you talk peace right now but yeah, I can see you brandishing the smackdown when needed.”

Cecile wrinkled her nose, “Do ‘smack down’ and me go in the same thought?”

Dan laughed, “Yeah your kids are going to have fun with you.”

Cecile raised her eyebrows. “You mean our kids!”

Dan cleared his throat and blinked rapidly. “Yeah I meant ours, yeah.”

Cecile shook her head. “I can see it already, I see right through you Dan Hinote.”

Absolutely blanched, Dan’s face looked drained in an instant. “You can?”

Cecile had a feeling that if she were smart she’d probe deeper into his reaction in that instant, but she really didn’t have the energy to think too much into it. “Of course I can. You’re practicing to be the good guy, and I’m gonna be the bad guy with the kids. And when they’re real pains in the you know what, then suddenly they’ll be just my kids and not your responsibility.” She sniffed.

His cheeks turned red and he laughed. “Oh yeah, I’m terrible.”

To Cecile it looked like he was laughing too hard and she shook her head. “Are you okay Danny? You seem kind of nervous suddenly. Is there something you don’t want to tell me? What did you think I was going to say?”

Dan coughed and sat up straight. “I didn’t think you were going to say anything at all. Nothing. Nope.”

Cecile rolled her eyes. “Danny…”

“Oh it’s nothing, Cecile really, I just, there’s just a lot on my mind, it’s that stupid game tomorrow, really it’s important and it keeps creeping into the back of my brain and it’s really distracting me honey,” he gestured a lot as he spoke, and blinked a lot.

“I know,” she said softly. “It’s okay.”

Dan looked away, “Actually, no honey, it’s not.”

Now she knew she hadn’t deliberately triggered something here but he was going to make something out like that. “Danny, it is okay, stop worrying, if you need to fight or something then do it, don’t let me throw a wrench into whatever…”

“Cecile I don’t go out planning to fight okay?” Dan exclaimed, and almost so sharp it had felt like he’d yelled.

Cecile flinched and narrowed her eyes, she looked at him, she could see something nagging at him from inside, and perhaps he felt that it was her. “I know that!” she replied in a low voice, “But if promising not to detracts from your game in any way then I would rather you didn’t.”

Dan sighed. “Look it’s not the promise okay?”

“I just want you to be okay, tomorrow, that’s all I’m saying Danny, do what it takes for you to prepare.”

Dan held out his hands before dropping them onto the table, “Look Cecile I don’t think we’re on the same page here, okay? So let’s just drop it completely hm?”

“I don’t think we are either,” Cecile replied.

They ate in silence for a moment; Dan ordered another beer and seemed rather brusque with the waiter who took the order. His shoulders were hunched, his body leaning so that his stomach was in his chest hanging over and Cecile couldn’t help but wonder and worry. “You’re in kind of a mood Danny, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not in a mood!” Dan cried.

Cecile blinked, everything in her body felt stung and stiff. Slowly, she stood up from the table, she could try sitting there but at least three other tables, one of them full of flimsy looking young women seemed to be staring at them. Some of the girls had smiles on their faces, and Cecile knew she couldn’t just sit there through that. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“What?” Dan said looking up at her. Hard eyes, angry eyes. “Where are you going.”

“I’m going,” Cecile replied, “You’re not in a good mood and I don’t seem to be helping it. I don’t want to fight, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She clutched her coat in her hand and walked keeping her eyes on the doorway and not on the people around them; she wouldn’t let them have eye contact with her. When she stepped out onto the cold sidewalk, the cold evening, she put her coat on.

“Cecile!” Dan burst out of the restaurant. He didn’t look angry now, he looked like Danny, soft eyes and mouth, and she could see the worry on his face, a worry he wouldn’t talk to her about, but she knew he needed to get rid of it, whatever it was. He stood still for a moment, perhaps unsure what to do or say and she reached and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

“Dan I’m not mad at you,” she said softly, “And I hope you’re not mad at me, but what’s wrong?”

He hugged her, squeezing her so hard that she squeezed him back and she realized that he was crying, not sobbing, just a few tears, just a drop of moisture or perhaps she imagined it. “I’ll fix it,” he whispered. “You won’t get hurt, I’ll fix it.”

“I don’t even know what it is,” she whispered back. And now her own hurt felt with uncertain worry, and she squeezed him harder in her arms.