Chapter 400: Dru IX—Puppy Fight

Things already didn’t look good for the day when Patrick Roy arrived to game day practice looking as if he’s been dealt news that his children had died. His eyes had no life to them, they were half lidded and dull and his mouth turned down in a frown so severe, it looked as if it had been carved into his face. He said nothing to no one as he sat down on the bench, and he stared at his palms listlessly before with a mighty sigh he began to unbutton his shirt.

“What happened, Patty, you look like shit,” Footer said standing up and then flopping down onto the bench next to Patty.

“It’s no use,” Patrick said, “I will never be happy again.”

“Why not, buddy?”
“I’ve been destroyed,” Patrick moaned.

Drury lifted his eyebrows and felt a little worried. The only thing he could think of was that something bad had happened to his kids or one of his parents had fallen upon tragedy. “Did something happen to your family, Patty?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Mike Keane asked, “Did you catch your wife boinking a rookie or something?”

“After a charity game like that why would she?” Dan Hinote said in a quick sharp voice and Drury’s gut zinged at the words. He looked straight at Danny and narrowed his eyes. Dan looked at him, no color on his cheeks, and he shrugged. “What?”

Chris looked back at Patrick who didn’t seem to care at all about Noter. “It’s worse, Keaner,” Patrick moaned.

Mike Keane grinned, white bread false teeth and he crossed his arms over his pale, tattooed chest, and “How could it be worse babe?”

“I don’t feel good,” Patrick sighed and he put his face in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees. “I want to go home and go to bed. I feel sick.”

Drury never thought he’d ever say it about Patty, or think it or even consider it implied, but at that moment, Patty looked spineless! If he had to put a word on it, he really would settle on spineless, frightened, terrified, and defeated. “You have the flu or something?” The flu had that power to turn a man into a quivering heap of jelly. Last thing the team needed right now was that bug going through the locker room.

“No I don’t have it.” Patrick whimpered.

“Aw hey,” Rob Blake said with a goofy grin, on his lap he had that damn purple Brandi ball. Not that Drury minded it that much but the defenseman’s attachment to it was not unlike a child and his security blanket or Patty and his Smittens for that matter. “Look Patty whatever it is it can’t be that bad, why don’t you cuddle your Smittens, those always make you feel better.”

Apparently, wrong thing to say. To Drury’s utter amazement, Patrick’s bottom lip trembled and his eyes filled with tears, one fell, but he didn’t actually sob thank God. “Patty what happened?” Drury gasped. “Calm down man!”

“Ooo just kill me.” Patrick moaned and he put his face back in his hands, still not sobbing but he was just a nudge away from that loss of control.

“Aw come on Patty,” Adam Foote said, “It can’t be that bad.”

Coach Hartley popped into the room, his eyes wide and Chris could tell that Bob had either been just inside the room listening or just outside. “What happened to Patrick’s Smittens?” he asked in an urgent voice, his hands balled into fists. “We have an important division game tonight; if someone is hiding them bring them our right now!”

“I don’t think any of us are hiding them Coach,” Scott Parker said grimly, for once no spark of humor or amusement in his eyes.

“Gigi ate them!” Patrick moaned. “She ate them!”

A brief silence and Drury didn’t even find that funny. He knew how important tonight’s game was and the last thing anyone would do on the day of a game like that is aggravate the starting goaltender in any way, much less take away whatever magical talisman he relied on for winning. Now, despite all their attention to that fact, a damn mutt had gone and destroyed him? “She… she just chewed them up a little, right? I mean they’re not gone, I mean she just gnawed on em, so they’re not fresh and new, they can get patched up?”

“Nooo!” Patrick exclaimed. “She ate them! Mimi pulled one out of her throat, and the vet had to cut the other one out of her stomach, there was no saving them.”

“Jesus Christ is the dog okay?” Peter Forsberg exclaimed.

Patty shrugged. “She’ll be fine.” His mouth collapsed again. “Ooo Coach I don’t want to play tonight, I can’t its no use.”

Hartley frowned. “I am sorry about your Smittens, Patty,” he said firmly, “But we need you tonight, you can’t just abandon us because of a couple balls of yarn.”

“Not yarn! Smittens!” Patrick cried. “Ooo.”

“We’ll buy you new mittens,” Hartley said coldly, “Until then, get your act straight yes?”

“Mmhmm,” Patrick sighed and he dropped his chin in his hand, pouted.

“Did you have spaghetti and meatballs today?” Drury asked trying to make the goalie feel better about paying attention to at least one other of his tried and true superstitions.

Patrick wrinkled his nose. “No, Mimi wouldn’t make any because she was taking care of the puppy.”

“I’ll go get you some!” Dan Hinote said, jumping to his feet and pulling off his gear. “Coach can I go get Patty some spaghetti and meatballs? At least he can have that right?”

“Go on,” Hartley said, “But be quick Danny eh?”

Well someone’s eager to help. Drury thought as he glanced at Danny fumbling with gear and into his clothes. Keeping an eye on Danny he asked, “Hey Patty, how’d the dog get the Smittens anyway?”

“Oh Mimi was out and she forgot to lock her up or something, I don’t know, it was an accident.” Patrick sighed. “A horrible, horrible accident.” He dropped his face back into his hands and Mike Keane sat down next to Patty and rubbed his back, Adam Foote patted him as well. Keaner even went so far as to kiss Patty’s cheek. For some reason, that struck Drury as one of the most natural things to do for a goalie, give the guy a comfort kiss on the cheek.

The next man in the locker room was Alex Tanguay, and damn if he didn’t have the sourest expression on his face. “So you heard about the Smittens?” He asked Alex.

Tanguay deepened his frown. “Smittens? What? Are you nuts Drury?”

“Yeah, Patty’s Smittens got eaten by the dog,” Derek Morris said solemnly.

Alex raised his eyebrows, “Oh.” He turned to Patrick, the sour leaving his face. “Hey Patty I’m sorry.”

“Eh…” Patrick sighed.

“So what’s bugging you then?” Drury asked Alex.

“Oh none of your business,” Alex replied. He sat down on the bench and crossed his arms. “Yeah, Penelope called me again last night.”

Drury laughed as did a couple of the other guys, Patrick and his dilemma of the Smittens being instantly forgotten. “Oh man did you finally score some with her?” Chris asked. “Oh wait, you almost did and had an incomplete or something, that’s why you’re looking so bitchy!”

More laughter and Alex’s scowl practically cut into his skin. “Nooo she wanted to I think, she invited me out to a late party and everything.”

“And?” Blake asked.

“And I told her that I don’t go out with women who are taken, I have more principles than to do that! And she said that she didn’t see a problem with it because Tom was skiing in Vail and what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him and oof I tell the nerve of her! It’s against all moral reason!”

“But she’s not married to him,” Keane pointed out.

“Same difference,” Tanguay snipped.

Adam Foote stood up and held out his arms. “Why God why! Why bless him with so much bounty if he’s just gonna throw it away, what kinda cruel joke are you playing Oh LORD!”

Drury laughed and then everyone who wasn’t dressed yet began to pull off their clothes and change into gear, there were some light conversations and Hartley sat next to Patrick, talking to him in French, seemingly comforting him. Chris assumed that Bob told Patrick how everyone had faith in him and how he could continue on without his Smittens because he’s already the best goalie on the face of the Earth without them. “You getting dressed Tangs?” Drury asked when he noticed Alex still not making a move to get into his gear.

“In a minute,” Alex replied. “I’m waiting for something.”

Joe Sakic finally arrived, he had a bright smile on his face, his hands in his pockets and all the controversy with Parker from the day before seemed to have disappeared. “Alright!” Joe barked. “Are we going to have a great game tonight? Are we gonna win! Huh Patty are you gonna bail us out yet again?”

“Just kill me!” Patrick moaned in reply.

Joe frowned. “Okay, what happened?”

“Oh Patrick’s puppy ate his Smittens,” Mike Keane nodded solemnly.

“God dammit I’ll skin that dog myself!” Joe roared. “Patty you can’t let it affect you tonight we need the points on Vancouver!”

“Eh,” Patty shrugged.

“I’m working on it,” Coach Hartley said and he grabbed onto Patty’s hand, rubbing it vigorously with his palms. He continued on speaking to him in French.

“How did that happen?” Joe exclaimed.

“Accident’s happen,” Drury said.

“I guess,” Joe grumbled and he sat down on the bench pinching his chin with a pensive look on his face. Drury half-grinned, realizing that those damn mittens had just as much hold on the team as they did on the goalie. What else would explain the gloom that had overtaken the locker room?

And things got better when Dan Hinote made his return to the locker room with a fragrant, steaming foil container dripping red sauce out of one side and with a fork balanced on top of it. Patrick actually lit up and happily accepted the dish from him, ripped off the top and set to work on the spaghetti and meatballs. “It’s from Macaroni Grill,” Hinote said. “I forgot to bring parmesan cheese, is that okay?”

“Perfect!” Patty said, one cheek bulging with food as he tried to swallow.

“YOU!” Alex Tanguay exclaimed, standing up and pointing.

“Me?” Hinote asked resting his fingers on his chest.

Drury squinted at Tanguay who had the fiery anger of Hell on his scowling mouth and wide eyes. “I saw!” Alex hissed. “I saw!”

Danny’s face went absolutely white and Drury could tell right away that Danny was guilty of whatever he was accused of. “You saw… how?”

“On your sidewalk,” Alex growled, and Drury could honestly say he had never seen Tangs this intimidating. Damn he was pretty scary. As he spoke, he walked towards Danny, until he was practically nose to nose with him. Dan didn’t take a step back but he seemed unsure, his hands even trembling. “I went to your apartment yesterday and I saw you on the sidewalk with….”

“Now, hey, it’s not what you thi…” Danny began but he didn’t get to finish the sentence before Alex drew his hand back and slapped him hard across the face.

Slapped? Dru sat in amused shock all that build up for a slap in the face?

“Did you just slap me?” Dan asked with lifted eyebrows and in an almost amused tone. “You can’t be seri…”

Alex slapped him again, and this one also sounded hard. Drury smirked. Alex’s reputation as “an old lady” wouldn’t be much helped by this.

“Oh come on is that all you’ve….” Danny taunted.

And Alex slapped him so hard that Danny’s face crumpled and his voice cracked as he tried to speak through a sudden onset of sobs. “Okay Alex you don’t have to hit so hard!” Ah even better, not only was Alex bitch slapping Dan, Dan was crying! “Well what else do you want me to do?” Alex sniffed, “You’re a lying, deceitful traitor and you should be…”

And the fighter in Dan woke up. Chris stood on his feet as Hinote howled and swung his fist at Tanguay striking him straight in the eye. Alex roared and punched back and the two clung to each other, cursing and kicking and punching. By now everyone stood on their feet in shock and amusement. Even Patrick stood, still holding onto his food tray and munching but he seemed interested enough in the fight.

“PUPPY FIGHT!” Rob Blake howled and he grinned.

“My God!” Bob Hartley exclaimed, “Blake, Footie, stop them!”

“Awwww,” Blake said, “Coach can’t we just let them go at it, it’s so cute?”

By this time, Alex and Danny had abandoned trading punches and were slapping at each other like a couple of school girls in a cat fight. Both of them had scrunched faces and closed eyes. “Ow! Ow! Ow!”

“No don’t let them embarrass themselves any further,” Hartley snapped, “They can’t even have a decent fight.”

Foote and Blake obeyed, diving in, Foote grabbed onto Alex and pulled him to his feet while Blake had Danny and actually picked him up as if he were a bride on the threshold. Drury couldn’t hold back his laughs by this time. “I hate you!” Alex roared and Drury could see the beginnings of purplish swelling around Alex’s eyes.

“It’s none of your business!” Dan yelled back.

“You’re going to pay!” Alex pointed.

“Alright!” Coach Hartley barked, “Now cut this shit out eh?”

Everyone went quiet and looked at the Coach. “Alex, Danny, both of you get out, go home and cool off, I don’t want to see this shit at gametime or at the preskate tonight. I don’t care what feud you two think you have, we don’t need it right and we don’t care what its about and we’re not even gonna take sides eh? Think about that, before you start fighting like pussies again!”

Now for Drury it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened just now. Patrick’s Smittens eaten while Michele was not home? Alex saw Danny up to some sort of offense on his sidewalk? Chris knew how Alex felt about Patrick’s family, he talked about Mimi all the God damn time like she was his mother, and he knew that Dan was hot after her or she hot after him. So the bitch had gotten what she wanted again.

Chris looked at Danny, his face red, blood trickling from a wound on his cheek, and he tried to see a difference in him. He couldn’t really. He couldn’t be certain but he was convinced, and he didn’t know how to feel about that.