Chapter 479: Dru X—Middle of a Bad Day

Were things worse than normal? Truthfully, Chris didn’t think so, in fact they weren’t even bad that morning when for some reason he’d picked a fight with Rory. Why he’d done that he could only assume because she’d committed the unforgivable crime of interrupting his thoughts to remind him about something. And those thoughts had been about him and the goalie’s wife, and how he could possibly tempt himself back into her life. Of course, Rory knew none of this.

From there, he went to practice and the embarrassing situation of the gas fumes, and then to the emergency room. Things could not get worse from there he’d assumed and knowing that they’d actually play the game tonight made him feel better. So it seemed safe to assume that the worst part of the day, save a crushing defeat to Vancouver was done.

And then again…

Drury shook his head, looking at Joe, and his lap which he proffered for him to sit on. Not only did this feel unreal and dreamlike, it felt dirtier than anything he could have feared to experience in life. “Joe… I…” he muttered, staring into Sakic’s inebriated face. What could he say to this?

Joe rolled his eyes and Chris tried to imagine some point in time when he’d ever seen Joe like this. Oh he’d seen him drunk before, at celebratory parties and other such events but he’d never quite seen this man sitting on the bench. “Fine then, if you’re so scared. It’s not that bad Chris, aye? Aye? C’mere, Keaner will show you. Keaner! You sit on my lap and you call me Momma!”
Drury felt his mouth dry and he looked at Mike Keane, in a way he felt some hope that maybe Joe had forgotten about him and would now concentrate on a veteran. Of course Mike Keane only looked to happy to oblige, with a debauched sort of grin he strolled over to Joe and plopped himself into the captain’s lap. Tossing his arm over Joe’s shoulders he said gamely. “Momma.”

Joe laughed, loud, brutish, sounding something like a jovial bar tender trying to be heard over a large party. “See! See that’s what I wanna hear. Keaner can do it, Chris. There’s no shame in it.” He belched, and Keane abandoned Joe’s lap. Looking at Chris, he shrugged.

Drury gulped.

“Now it’s your turn,” Joe sniffed.

Chris could feel the entire locker room staring at him, it left an itching crawling feeling all over his skin but he didn’t look at anyone else. Even though he was drunk, it didn’t mean that Joe couldn’t lay down some sort of test for him if he so felt like it. The most important thing Drury had to do, he knew, was pass the test. God knows there were worse things in college he had to do than sitting on someone’s lap. How hard could this be? “Gotcha,” Chris said and he licked his lips and slowly stood up.

Don’t show fear.

Chris didn’t look Joe in the eye and he slowly lowered himself into Joe’s lap, warm, broad and hard, and it felt just so alien and weird that he had to push away a feeling of revulsion. Not one to be outdone by Keaner he also slipped his arms over Joe’s shoulders and then gave the watching locker room one quick defiant look. God Joe stank like beer! What the hell was Muller thinking letting him drink like this before the game? “Momma,” Drury muttered.

“What?” Joe barked.

Drury rolled his eyes. “Momma!” He exclaimed.

“Ew you fag!” Joe growled and shoved him off his lap and onto the floor.

The rest of the locker room burst into laughter and Drury couldn’t feel anymore singled out and horrified. What the hell? “This is shit a rookie has to go through!” Drury exclaimed in anger, not regretting one word that left his lips.

Sakic stopped laughing and shrugged. “Eh all you kids look the same. Now let’s get ready, we got a game to win tonight god dammit and I don’t want any of you guys letting my obviously drunken state as an excuse got it aye? No excuse aye! Even if I piss myself all over the friggin ice we’re gonna,” Joe belched and covered his mouth. He sniffed. “What was I talking about?”

Oh this day could only get worse.

Fortunately through Hartley’s run through of the game plan, something which Chris actually paid attention to today and then through the dreaded pre-skate, Joe seemed pretty quiet and lucid, like his normal self. What interested Chris more, was the way the coaching staff watched Joe through this and talked quietly amongst themselves. He wondered if they were discussing how to scratch Joe from this game without incident and censure, and if so, how to replace him on the ice with leadership that would certainly be missed. And when they began calling Foote over for quick conversations, Chris was certain that they’d certainly pull the move.

He could imagine Foote with an unofficial position of leadership. Patty would like that one. That was not to be however, by the time they skated off the ice Joe had quietly taken all of his practice shots on net and chewed gum as if everything were fine. For his part, Drury had been more distracted by Michele Roy who sat behind Patty’s net with her little family, her beautiful blonde little family.

For God’s sake she was wearing a short skirt and really long, really shiny, very sharp looking black boots. He’d noticed more than a few women were favoring those boots nowadays; they weren’t just for hookers anymore. Either way, it crawled under his skin and then settled in his groin. Drury closed his eyes and thought to himself, I’m an idiot I really am.

In the darkness of the tunnel as they waited for their cue to skate across the ice to be introduced under flashing lights and blaring music Drury smelled Joe’s breath over his shoulder. “Hey I saw you looking kid, they didn’t see it but I did.”

“What!” Drury gasped.

“Yeah, I saw,” Joe whispered and Drury wanted to gag and choke on the smell but he merely tightened his lips. “You’re a punk you know that aye? You want Patty’s wife, ha ha. I won’t tell him don’t worry, but I got to say, you got good taste. I had a look myself too tonight, not bad, not bad….”

“Patty’s right in front of us,” Chris muttered.

“Oops,” Joe whispered.

Chris held his breath and looked at the goalie’s back, but Patrick really didn’t seem as if he’d heard anything. Knowing Patty like he did, if he had heard anything, he would have already whirled around and clocked him over the head, so at least one disaster was averted.

And then with the cue to skate onto the ice, Chris lifted his face to the swell of the crowd and put it out of his mind. Things would be fine, they would be great. He watched Patrick during the National Anthems; the goalie seemed to have all of his customs in check, he watched his teammates who seemed somber and set. A four point game. This game meant the difference in closing in on the gap between them and Vancouver, or falling behind in their dust completely.

We need this.

Surprisingly, Hartley put Joe on the starting line to take the face off. Even better, Joe won the face off. Judging by the startled and repulsed look on the Canuck player’s face, Chris had to assume that the poor man had taken a snoot full of Joe’s rancid breath. He leaned forward and tuned out the voices on the bench around him and he watched Sakic take the puck, pass, take it again, drop it, pass and then receive it deep into the offensive zone. The puck came to him and with a sharp flick of his wrist he sent it on net. The goalie, Cloutier, only barely made the save, a good one, the whistle blew and the buzzing crowd cheered optimistically.

“Well that was good,” Chris said grinning over his shoulder. As the line came back to the bench Chris called out to Joe, “Hey good one, Joe, you show us!”

“Eh,” Joe replied, “I feel fat.”

Drury laughed. Well with any luck, he thought to himself, we’re going to get through this even with a plastered Captain. Midway through the first period, however, things began to get a little hairy when Hartley put him and Joe on the same line. They skated into the defensive zone for a face off and Chris noticed Joe stumble a little on the way. He swallowed his initial urge to catch him, because he did not want one of the referees or linesman snooping over and taking a really good whiff of Joe’s breath.

“Hey!” Joe barked at Patty rather than going to the hash marks.

Chris saw Patty’s eyes widen, round blue marbles. “Eh?”

“Yeah you!” Joe growled pointing at Patrick and giving him the look of death. “You think you’re so hot, aye? You’re the best goalie in the free world aye?”

“Eh….” Patty replied.

“Joe come on, the face off,” Chris said skating to Joe, tugging on his elbow.

“Well how about this, my friend,” Joe said draping one arm over Patrick’s shoulder. “I am going to score on you. Your ass is MINE, and after that Im’a take your wife. Mrrrow Rowr ROWR! Awwwoooo!”

Patrick reddened but didn’t reply. Chris exchanged a quick look with him, as Joe skated back to the face off circle and Patrick shook his head. “Go on, Chris, is okay, I know he’s drunk.”

Chris glanced behind the net Michele sat there, unaware, so unaware….

“Joe that was PATTY!” Chris called after him.

“Oh, really?” Joe frowned and then he grinned. “Woops. Are we in the defensive zone?”

“Did you just howl like a dog?” The referee asked holding out the puck for the drop. “Did you?”

“Yup,” Joe muttered. “Im’a win this clean, aye.”

Chris shook it off; he had to just shake it off. Puck dropped, his blood rushed, and Joe snatched that puck and threw it behind him for a clean face off…. The crowd gasped in collective horror and he heard Patrick yell a French curse word. Did he even want to turn around? And when he did, he saw the most improbable scenario. Somehow, the puck found its way past Patrick and into the net.

“Did that go in?” Milan Hejduk exclaimed.

“Hell!” Adam Foote said.

“Well I guess I won that a little too clean,” Joe nodded. And before anyone could reply to that, Joe ran to the smirking, disbelieving Canucks and began to jump up and down. “Hey guys I scored I scored!”

“Man you’re shit faced!” Ed Jovonowski said fanning his hand in front of his nose. “What’s up Joe aye, get some bad news or something? We’ll take it.” He patted Joe on the back and Sakic skated back to his teammates with a huge smile on his face. Oh yes Drury rolled his eyes.

“I should have been more alert, how could I have done that!” Patrick said out loud. The poor goalie had eyes that seemed glistening and humiliated and Chris really did feel bad for him. So bad in fact that he didn’t even glance at Michele.

“Hey, Patty, it’s a fluke, they happen to the best okay? Don’t sweat it. Joe’s drunk; it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. How could you have known that Joe wouldn’t pull any mustard off that face off? No one in their right minds takes face offs that quickly. We’ll get that back for you.”

“Fluke,” Patty said nodding. “Yes I like that, it’s a fluke. You wouldn’t do something like that to me. I was unprepared. I will be better prepared.”

“That’s the spirit,” Drury grinned and he reached over and touched his shoulder. “We’ll get that back for you!”

Four shifts passed and Drury found himself annoyed that he’d been benched alongside Joe for the entire time. For his part, Joe didn’t seem at all off put, and he didn’t even really notice. All he talked about was that good goal of his and poor Patty had to put up with some crap couldn’t he?

Even drunk Joe couldn’t say the word shit.

That’s what Mike Keane muttered into Drury’s ear.

Chris had to smirk at that.

Finally! Hartley called Chris to center on the ice, with Hejduk and Tanguay. Another defensive zone face off, Chris took in a deep breath and then went low to the ice. He could feel a good face off coming, it burned within his wrists. Puck dropped, flick of the stick and it zinged behind him and then he heard a familiar French curse word and a familiar gasp of horror from the crowd.

Chris closed his eyes. Could this have happened to him before in a previous life?

“Hey!” Markus Naslund laughed, “Now you scored for us! You boys have got to take some juice out of your face offs. Thanks kid.”

Drury held his breath.

“Chris what do you have against me!” Patrick exclaimed. “You too?”

This definitely was still the middle of a bad day.