A/N: This is all fiction and lies nothing is true!

Chapter 327: Joey XVI—A Pile of Keys

It amused Joe to see Alex evolved into the star of the night after he punched out that jerk. Now Joe didn’t particularly care for violence to solve situations off the ice, but he had to admit, in this case, well, it was slightly warranted. Joe didn’t commend him however; it wouldn’t do for the kid to make a habit of it.

Joe decided that he liked the way the night had gone so far. The restaurant really was grade and the steak they served had been done with a caring touch. He liked the wine and their pasta, and the general atmosphere. He couldn’t envision too much happening out of turn here.

He figured it was more than likely him being still a little buzzed over meeting Julia Roberts. Now there sat a classic talented actress in the likes of Katherine Hepburn. Joe didn’t mind pointing that out to the guys who only looked at him funny. Well, he supposed he couldn’t expect them to understand much about that, it’s not like they were boring old squares like him. Man, Debbie was gonna love this autograph! He should have had it signed to her….

But Julia had left by the time Joe had thought about that. Still, an entire crop of pretty sparkling socialites and celebrities filled this restaurant. He wondered what kind of awards show or charity benefit must be going on.

It started out rather subtlety and the first time it happened. Joe laughed. Alex’s eyes widened when a stunning blond, a model Joe assumed from her oversized lips, undersized body and general smoky angry looking eyes, came up to him caressed his cheek and then slipped something into his hand. She then sashayed out of the restaurant and glanced back only once.

Alex gulped, looking like a boy who had been kissed by his sister. “That….that… that…” was all he could mutter.

Joe grinned. “What did she give you?” Although he had a few ideas.

“A… key!” Alex gasped. He held the dull metal object aloft as proof.

“Christ is that her room key?” Danny exclaimed and he snatched it from Tanguay’s hand and peered at it. “It’s her room key!”

“Score!” Footer exclaimed.

Joe shook his head. “It looks like you found a date kiddo.” Normally he didn’t approve of roadtrip behavior like this, although he accepted it as something a few of the guys had a taste for, he glanced at Peter, but considering Alex’s near celibate lifestyle, Joe didn’t see much harm in it. “She must have been impressed.”

Alex blinked and took the key back from Danny. “I… don’t… nooo!”

Footer laughed. “What are you afraid of kid?”

Alex swallowed loudly and Joe patted him on the back. “No shame in the girls liking ya Sport, you’re single, you’re young you have prospects. Go with it.”

Alex grimaced. “But Joe I thought you didn’t approve of this!”

“Well…” Joe shrugged.

Tanguay shook his head and put the key on the table. “I should give this to the concierge; I don’t take advantage of women like that.”

“Hey don’t let that go to waste!” Foote exclaimed. “I mean you can’t just brush her off like that!”

“Yeah,” Patrick agreed. “Why don’t you send some flowers up to her room with a card or something, that way she’ll know you’re interested if you’re scared to sleep with her.”

“Aww Patty you’re romantic!” Rob Blake laughed.

“Damn you’re one blessed kid!” Keane added. Forsberg nodded solemnly.

Joe slowly drank his wine, feeling all the more amused.

“Well I don’t think I want to know her, giving her key away like that to strange men, what else is she capable of!” Alex huffed indignantly.

“Well he has a point….” Dan offered.

Joe startled and then grinned at Adam who thunked his head on the table. “Alex would be the only one to let a beautiful woman’s key go to waste just like that. Argh! Why God why bless him when you know he’s just gonna throw it away!”

“Well why don’t you take the key, Adam?” Peter asked playfully.

Adam’s eyes brightened and Patty sniffed. “Eh she’d probably call the cops in fright when she got a look at that face.” In response, Adam pushed at him.

Rob Blake laughed. “That would be funny, hehe.”

“Oh no don’t do that, I’ll just send the key back,” Alex replied putting the key safely into his shirt pocket.

So with that decided upon the evening progressed in a much similar fashion. As the dinner hours bled into the after houses, the eligible ladies in the room finished with their salads and drinks, stretched and began to leave the restaurant to those after hour’s parties that the celebrities loved. All those young ladies, however, had been duly impressed by Alex’s gallant behavior and they too showed their appreciation.

Blondes, brunettes, red heads, dark skinned, black skinned, Oriental, ivory, beautiful women of all types just passed Alex by and some gracefully, some bluntly, handed him their keys. Alex could only blink and gasp in reply, his eyes getting larger and larger in shock. Finally, he had too many keys in hand and he just put them in a pile on the table to which the ladies, most brazenly added more keys as they passed by. If the girls came at the same time they would even glare at each other as they dropped their keys into the pile.

All of them had something brief to say to Alex whether it be compliments on how he was a hero or just how cute his cheeks were. Along with the keys also came party invites, addresses written on slips of paper and he stared at them in his hand. If this wasn’t the good Lord’s sign telling Alex to sow some wild oats, he didn’t know what was. Joe rested his chin in his hand and stared at the ever growing pile of keys.

“Man you’re gonna be busy tonight, Tiger, how are you gonna hold up?” he asked.

Alex reached into the pile and lifted the keys up. “I don’t know!” he gasped. “This is ridiculous really it is!”

“Come on share the wealth!” Adam exclaimed.

Joe lifted an eyebrow, so did that mean Adam’s previous bedroom problems were completely resolved?

“Nooo!” Alex snipped. “Patty’s right we don’t want to scare the girls!”

“Aw you’re just mean.”

“I’m French it’s a talent.”

Patrick laughed heartily. Joe noticed the goalie’s eyes roving over the keys but he didn’t make a single request for one. He half grinned. He had always thought Alex was a good influence on him.

“Well that’s it,” Alex declared and he stood up grabbing the keys into his hands in one big pile. They jingled together merrily, glinting in the lighting. “I’m sending all of these back, they can’t force me to come running to them just because they give me some stupid….”

Alex broke off in mid sentence and promptly dropped all the keys onto the carpet. They rang like little bells as they bounced upon each other at his feet.

“Are you okay?” Joe asked.

“Penelope!” Alex whispered.

“What?”

Joe looked to where Alex stared and he saw an olive skinned, willowy, Spanish woman standing at the entrance to the restaurant. It took a moment for him to recognize her and when he did he realized that Dan and Alex had indeed been telling the truth to the team. Penelope Cruz stared directly at them, her large eyes blinking. She put her hand to her mouth.

“Oh God!” Dan gasped. “Does that mean Tom is here?”

Joe knew then that that part was also true.

Walking with the watery movement of a zombie, Tanguay went after the actress who had abruptly turned and fled. The moment he disappeared from the restaurant, Joe noticed the rest of the guys picking over the keys like a flock of buzzards. “You guys!” he exclaimed but to no avail. They dashed off.

Joe put his hands on his hips and he looked at Peter. “Well go on, pick a key.”

Forsberg grinned sheepishly. “Naw I don’t need one.”

Joe lifted his eyebrows. “Seriously?”

Peter nodded. “I really don’t care.”

At that point Joe filled with so much warmth that he couldn’t resist patting Peter on the arm and squeezing it. “Good man, Pete, she’s worth it.”

Peter blushed.

“Hey I… I don’t want any keys either!” Mike Modano exclaimed.

Joe smiled at him. “Well I already know you’re a good man, Mike, Pete here always needed some house training.”

Modano positively beamed, Joe assumed laughing at Peter. Before Joe could say much else Tanguay came back into the restaurant with a pale, frowning face. Ah poor kid. Joe shoved his hands into his pockets and went to him. “Want to talk about it?”

“She didn’t say anything to me!” Alex moaned. “Not a thing. She just ran away from me like I scared her.”

Joe patted him the back. “I’m sorry. But you know these actress types they’re unpredictable, maybe she didn’t…”

“But she said she loved me last time, she really did!”

“Yeah… yeah they always do.”

Alex, as would be expected, stayed in a glum mood and nothing Joe could do or say cheered him up for the rest of that evening. He went to bed as soon as they got to the hotel room. Poor kid with a broken heart, Joe knew he would see it on him someday but he had thought it would be because of a girlfriend not a one time infatuation.

He called Debbie to get his mind off it and she presented him with an entirely new problem. Apparently she had taken Mitchell to a museum exhibit of some kind and he had dazzled the curators there with an uncanny ability to translate hieroglyphics.

“Joe he’s a genius of some kind!” Debbie exclaimed as if it were a pronouncement of a terminal illness.

“Um isn’t that good?” he asked.

“Well yeah when he grows up but what if all the other kids pick on him? Joe he’s going to be starting Kindergarten and… and what if all the kids are mean? I couldn’t stand it!”

Joe smiled. “I’m sure it’ll be fine Debbie, you know Mitchell, everyone loves him, so he’s gifted, that’s great.”

“Yeah,” Debbie sighed. “I guess I just needed to hear someone else say it… Joe you have to understand I mean when the little oober just started spouting out all this stuff I didn’t know what to make of it!”

“Aw I guess those Mummy movies are more educational than we thought?”

Debbie laughed. “Yeah I guess so.”

Joe closed his eyes at the sound of her laugh. Soft, smooth, like velvet tickling his ear lobes. Here he lay in bed, and he felt so badly the need to roll over and pull her body close to him, and he could hear her voice, and she wasn’t here at all. She told him good night, she made a kiss noise, he couldn’t quite bring himself to deliver one back but in his heart he wanted her, he wanted to.

He sighed as he turned off the light and he sunk back into bed, feeling fiery and in need of touch. Going to sleep as fast as possible would be the best thing to do. He tried to sink into it and then he heard three sharp knocks on the door. One eye popped open. Three more knocks.

“Kid I swear to GOD if that’s for you!” Joe growled and he rolled out of bed. He opened the door and there she stood, like a wispy Goddess, eyes large like a girl’s, a mouth pursed as if by habit.

“Alex Tanguay?” Penelope said.

Joe grinned and he glanced over his shoulder and then stepping outside he crossed his arms. “Yeah?”

Penelope rolled her eyes and brushed by him into the hotel room. “Alex?”

“Penelope!” Alex cried.

Joe sneezed on the strong perfume in the air and squinted. He peered down the hallway and strode to the only room he was sure of the occupants. He banged on the door. He waited and then he banged again.

“I said get the GODDAMN DOOR!”

“Alright!”

Danny Hinote’s eyes widened. “Captain?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Joe muttered. “Clear off the bed it’s mine.” Joe strode to the empty bed and crawled into the warm covers. “Keaner!”

“Yup?”

“Touch Dan weird and I’ll skin ya in the morning okay?”

“Eh… sure….”