Chapter 360: Jonathan XVII—Wake Up Call

Jonathan’s gut ached as he trudged away from the dinner table. All that energy spent during the day, all that nonsense with flying monkeys, rough housing, swinging Mitchell around on his shoulders had left him famished by dinnertime. As a result he gorged on meat, gravy, potatoes, all the vegetables, and endless slices of bread lathered in butter. And of course by dessert, he had worked up a second wind for a fat slice of cake with ice cream.

By the sound of his moaning, Jonathan knew Freddy had done the same thing. Ah but it was worth it. He felt sorry for Dad because he had to count calories and couldn’t eat as much, and girls didn’t either.

In fact Jonathan noticed the funniest thing about Elena during dinner. The food on her plate seemed to disappear more quickly than when she chewed. Jonathan thought that it seemed weird and he kinda watched her a little closer. Like a magical slight of hand, he caught it; she quickly snatched pieces off her fork and rolled them in her napkin. He’d never heard of anyone doing something like that before. Well, he reasoned, girls didn’t like eating a lot in front of guys, so maybe she was saving food for later.

He had a feeling though that if he asked her about it, that he wouldn’t get a good reaction from her. Should he ask Mom about it? She knew everything about girls, of course, but it felt kinda weird, he didn’t want to worry Mom. But he didn’t like it; something in his stomach told him not to like it.

So he watched Cecile, and she ate all of her food, took big bites too, but she didn’t have very much on her plate and she ate slowly with her fork turned upside down and her chews closed mouthed and slow. There was no food hiding with her. And then Freddy! Jonathan noted at that point that Freddy seemed to watching Cecile’s every chew as if it were a captivating experience. He wrinkled his nose. Freddy was so weird!

They played hockey in the sports room for a little after dinner, and that helped Jonathan’s stomach feel less heavy. He enjoyed having an extra player to practice his puck blocking skills on.

“Jana!” Elena cried and she rolled the soft ball to Jana. Jonathan grinned when he only had to make a small move to flick away Jana’s ball.

“Cheater!” Jana squealed and she put her hands on her hips. “You wear pads to big or something I know it!”

“Eh get a better shot!” Jonathan scoffed. “You play like a little kid.”

Jana’s eyes widened and boiled with anger. “Ooo I don’t like you!”

Freddy nudged Jana playfully and ruffled her hair. “I’ll score on him for you, Jana. He can’t beat both of us.”

“You’re my favorite brother,” Jana cooed in a pouty voice and she hugged him. She looked straight at Jonathan and Jonathan narrowed his eyes.

“Aw I knew you’d see the light,” Freddy grinned. And he winked at Jonathan.

“Eh you guys are weird you know that?” Elena said with a wrinkled nose and she flicked a lick of sweaty hair from her forehead. The flick looked as if it had been in slow motion, and Jonathan grinned, felt goofy and sleepy at the same time. “Let’s play some real hockey guys hm?”

“Yup!” Jonathan barked and he stretched and crouched. “Come on you losers, Freddy you’re my D-man! Go!”

“Oh that’s real heroic,” Elena laughed. “You just want the girls coming at you! Ha! Let’s show him Jana.”

“Damn straight!” Jana snarled and Jonathan was a little taken aback by the red rimmed, steely blue glint to Jana’s eyes. They were eyes that could fire a man dead in his tracks, just give it a couple years and she’d be shooting more vicious looks than Dad. He shivered inwardly at the thought of that.

“Okie,” Freddy said casually and he tossed the ball in the air and it fell straight down. Three light wood sticks clicked and snapped against each other as the three went for the ball. Freddy initially snagged it but before he could shoot the ball down to the empty goal Jana drove her shoulder into him and knocked him and she passed it to Elena. Before Jonathan could prepare for it, Elena winked, grinned and stuck the tip of her tongue out as she shot the ball and it zipped over his shoulder and plopped behind him into his net.

“Aw Hell!” Jonathan snapped feeling his cheeks blister.

“Eee!” Jana squealed and she and Elena jumped up and down laughing and shrieking like the girls they were.

“Great,” Jonathan said glumly glaring at Freddy who was squinting and lying on his back.

“Jana I thought I was your favorite brother now!” Freddy moaned.

Jana giggled and hugged Freddy. “And now you’re my favoritest in the world.”

“Oh,” Freddy gasped, “Well I guess that’s something.”

Funny dreams, Jonathan didn’t dream that often, well he didn’t remember his dreams that often and whenever he did it annoyed him. He didn’t particularly like dreaming, he didn’t like things that didn’t make sense. Fuzzy tickling, cold and wet, his dreams seemed to be wrecked with him and he knew he was dreaming, which made things more annoying.

Tickle, tickle…. Wet… cold… warm…. And he couldn’t figure out where the sensations were coming from or why. He could feel it on his hand though. He wrinkled his nose and his face felt as if a mouse or a bug was crawling on it. Tickle, tickle, dammit that was enough! He slapped at his face and was assaulted by a cold, soft, thick, “What the…!” He sat up and opened his eyes only to be blinded by a cloud of white and his ears were assaulted by his sister’s tin whistle laughter and Elena’s deeper, taunting tones.

“Dammit!” He snarled realizing what had happened and when he opened his mouth it was filled with a sweet, airy puff of flavor that could only be whipped cream. His stomach yawned open at the taste, and he didn’t know if he wanted to kill more or eat breakfast first. “Argh!” The laughter continued and he wiped the whipped cream off his eyes and glared at the girls. “You are so DEAD!!!”

“Heeee Jonathan you look scrum-she-us!” Jana giggled. “Pie head!”

Jonathan growled and looked at Elena who had betrayed him, and it got even worse seeing Freddy giggling in the door way. In front of Freddy? Freddy? Oh the humiliation! How could she do this to him? “What the hell was that for?”

Elena pressed her fingers over her lips, tears wobbled in her eyes. “Hey late sleeper gets the cream, that’s what Dad always says! It’s the law of the land!”

“Jonathan you look like a dork!” Freddy laughed and his laugh sounded high pitched and girlish. It made Jonathan want to leap onto Freddy and pound him senseless and he would if he wasn’t so uncomfortable in all this whipped cream.

“Whose idea was this!” Jonathan roared throwing his blanket off and storming into the bathroom.

“It was mine, jeez have a cow,” Elena snorted contemptuously and Jonathan really wanted to scream.

I’ll feel better once I wash it off he thought and he turned on the faucet and rinsed off the cream with warm water and he splashed some more for good measure and it did make him feel somewhat better. He turned off the water and leaned on the sink, with his eyes closed and he felt his blood slowing down. Okay, so it wasn’t so bad, he had overreacted, he would go out give Elena a pat on the back, and congratulate her on a fiendish plan. He blew out a breath of air.

“Jeez Jonathan sorry,” Elena said, “It was just a joke.”

Jonathan sighed. “Hey I’m not much of a morning person, I’m sorry…” He opened his eyes and saw himself in the mirror, and his mouth fell open and he felt his blood rush even further and his heart screeched to a stop.

“Okay that part was Jana’s idea!” Elena said quickly.

Jonathan felt his throat strangle and squeak when he saw the hearts and stars drawn on his face in red marker and his hair was blotched with pink and glittery sparkles. His cheeks reddened and he could have sworn he saw himself turn purple.

“Really it was Jana’s idea!” Elena gasped and she ran. “How’d I know you’d sleep through all of it?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Jonathan screamed and he tore right after her. “GET BACK OVER HERE!”