Title: The Affair of Patty and His Magic Mittens Part 6
Rating: Nothing Serious
Pairing: Patty/Mittens… I guess...
Dedication: To Rebecca!! The mittened Patty is her plot bunny so Happy Birthday!!
“Um,” Rebecca said and she stood up, wiped at her skirts. “H-Hello.”
She felt as Christiane and Kris stood up on either side of her. Rebecca cleared her throat and looked at the men seated at the table, which seemed heavy and made of glossy wood. One of the men was wiry and pale with a large mouth and squinting blue eyes. He had pale brown hair that was trimmed nicely on his face and he had an overall fatherly looking face. Rebecca couldn’t fathom who he could be however, and the dark blue uniform was no clue.
Also at the table was another man, also wiry and pale, he was in an identical uniform and his face was cradled on the table on one of his thin arms. Rebecca couldn’t tell exactly what he looked like because one of his arms was outstretched and covered a lot of his face and his pale fingers seemed to be resting on a tiny, cheap tape recorder which was playing that music.
“What are you doing here?” the Russian man said, “Do not make me repeat this, it annoys me. YOU annoy me!” His voice was so loud and booming Rebecca was surprised that the sleeping man didn’t wake up.
Rebecca swallowed. “Is…is this Earth, sir… your highness?”
The Russian man laughed, a loud almost grating laughed. It was a laugh that reminded Rebecca of crows cawing in trees. “EARTH? What are you talking about? WHO are you?”
Christiane squeaked and Rebecca felt her press behind her as the girl tried to shield herself from the screams. Kris also pulled closer to her. All Rebecca could think was, no stun powder, no magic charms left….
“I’m Rebecca, Bound Concubine of… of the Leprechaum King and these are my “sisters” Christiane and Kris.” Rebecca said and was pleased to see the man’s eyes widen and a small smile on his face. He actually had a calming smile, a soft one.
“Are you really?” he said, his r’s rolling like the purr of a cat.
Rebecca nodded. “And we’re here on an official mission for His Majesty and it’s very important that we get to Earth so that we may complete our mission. We throw ourselves on your good will and mercy, Sir, erm Your Higness.”
The man frowned and narrowed his eyes. “And how did you get here?”
Rebecca
took a deep breath. “Well we were brought to
Stay calm, that’s it! Rebecca thought, proud of her level head.
“Hmmmmm,” the Russian man said, “Very interesting. Do you even know who we are?”
Rebecca shook her head, “No, Your Highness, we don’t.”
The man smiled, “Of course you wouldn’t, little concubine. This is the chambers of the High Council.”
“Omigod!” Rebecca gasped and so did Christiane and Kris. She fell to one knee and the other two followed. “Sirs I did not realize!”
This could be bad! Rebecca thought. Lord Odin was the ultimate ruler of this universe but right underneath him was the mysterious, and powerful High Council. Their powers were known to make or break a country, topple rulers and exact law and order. Rebecca had never known anyone to meet the council and live to tell the tale.
“Please forgive our intrusion!” she added.
The Russian man laughed loud and heartily. “You did not know? Hahahaha! Well I shall tell you. I am Alexei Gusarov and my partner here, forgive him, he is sleeping, he is Igor Larionov. WAKE UP IGOR!”
The man named Igor only mumbled and started snoring.
Gusarov laughed. “HAHAHAHAHA! He’s
had a bad few days! He angered Lord Odin who turned him into,” long pause, “a
spider! And he had to spend a day on Earth and not even Lord Odin would have
foreseen this, he was captured by a little girl who kept him in a jar until she
finally took pity on him and released him. HAHAHA so he is sleepy now! IGOR WAKE UP IGOR! Isn’t that funny?”
“Laugh,” Rebecca said through
the corner of her mouth and then she started laughing. “Yes My Lord Councilman
that is very funny!” Kris and Christiane also laughed loudly.
The noise seemed to rouse Igor who lifted his head and revealed a face that could belong on any scholar or professor, complete with delicate, silver framed spectacles. He blinked with sleepy eyes and yawned. “What is this?” he asked, his voice a soft Russian lilt. It was a refreshing change from the loud cackling of the other Russian, Alexei.
“The girls were LAUHING at you because you were,” and then he whispered in a loud voice, “a spider!”
The professor Igor frowned. “Well that isn’t nice,” he said in a soft voice, “I do not even know these girls. It is not nice to laugh at strangers young ladies, one should not do such infantile things!”
Rebecca was so taken in by his tone, by the genuinely hurt expression on his face that she put her hand to her breast and said, “Forgive me council member Igor, you speak truth!”
He grinned. “They like me!” he laughed, “You lie Alexei!”
“I do not,” Alexei snipped. “You lie!”
“I do not!” Igor replied and he looked at Rebecca and her heart melted for the silly little man, “Do I?”
Rebecca shook her head, “No sir!”
Igor grinned. “I win,” he said.
“Oh it doesn’t matter,” Alexei said, “These girls… these Concubines of the Leprechaun King would like to go to Earth. I think they are trespassing.”
Igor frowned. “The penalty for trespassing is to cut off the feet!”
“EEPS!” Christiane squeaked in horror.
Alexei shrugged. “It is the law.”
Igor shook his head, “They are too pretty to be trespassers! I say they are innocent. Case closed.”
“Fine.” Alexei said, “They are innocent but the question remains, shall we send them to Earth or shall we send them back to their Master?”
Igor frowned and pinched his chin with his pale fingers. “What is their wish?”
Rebecca took a deep breath, “To get to Earth.”
Igor nodded. “Shall we give them the questions, Alexei?”
Alexei nodded. “Yes, lets.”
“Questions?” Rebecca asked.
“Yes!” Alexei replied. “Questions. Two very important questions, if you answer correctly then you get what you wish, if you answer incorrectly, you go back to the mercies of your master. Are you ready?”
Rebecca nodded, jutted her chin out, “Yes, sir,” she said.
“Good!” Alexei said.
“I ask first,” Igor said. “NOW think carefully…….”
Here it comes! Rebecca thought.
“Is Alexei’s nose too big?” Igor asked.
Rebecca was stunned for a moment. That was it? She grimaced and looked at Alexei who had his face tilted up, displaying his funny little nose. “N-no,” she said. “Not at all.”
“Excellent!” Igor said with a smile.
“My turn!” Alexei barked. “NOW think carefully!...”
Ookay now here is the hard one, Rebecca thought.
“Does Igor have silly glasses?” Alexei said.
Rebecca paused. She looked at Igor who was grinning. “No they’re very cute!” she said.
The two Russians looked at each other with very serious expressions and Rebecca’s heart stopped. “Was that wrong?” she asked.
Igor looked at her with a smile. “You answered well, now you shall have your wish.”
He held his hand out and as he did a door appeared in what was once a blank wall. “That door will take you to Earth, good luck little concubines and NO MORE laughing at strangers!”
“Thank you sires!” she exclaimed and Kris and Christiane added their thank yous as well.
“We’re on our way,” Rebecca whispered as they waved goodbye to the council members and dashed for the door that would finally lead them to Earth.
TBC