A/N: None of this is true; these are fictional news articles…obviously

 

Chapter 388: Scrapbook IV

 

 

 

March 15, 1986

 

Dead Woman Still Unnamed

 

Autopsy Complete but Identity of Woman Remains Mystery

 

MontrealThe Montreal Police Department has announced that an autopsy has been completed on the body of a woman found buried in a snowdrift just outside of the city. She was found a week ago, fully clothed and with signs of injury to her face and neck. The coroner discovered her lungs were filled with water, and the bruising on her body, all point to the possibility of her being drowned by force.

            As for the possible date of her death, it could be anywhere from two weeks ago to a month ago. The extreme cold and the snow would have preserved her and will make determining her last days very difficult. As for her identity, no one has of yet recognized her from composite drawings and she matches no known description of women reported missing…

 

 

April 21, 1986

 

Identity for a Murder Victim

 

MontrealThe identity of a woman found beaten and drowned earlier this year has been determined. New York socialite Pauline D’arcy, has identified the woman as that of her cousin, Kathleen Lafet whom the family had lost contact with months ago, assuming Ms. Lafet had been out of the country visiting family. Mrs. D’arcy made no comment to the press but was described by a police man as “distraught” over the death of her cousin, but seemingly not surprised.

            As for the identity of Ms. Lafet’s murderer, Mrs. D’arcy could make no guess…

 

 

Transcript of Newscast, Channel 9 News, Denver, Colorado

 

Broadcast Date: January 11, 2003

 

Patrick Roy and his son Jonathan Roy stand together in the locker room of Magness Arena after a charity game.

 

Reporter: Patrick, we all know of course that you are the best goalie who ever lived…

 

Smile from Patrick.

 

Reporter: So it would stand to reason that your son is in good position to inherit a little of that magic.

 

Patrick laughs and pats his son on the head.

 

Patrick: Well I think my boy will stand on his own feet and talent, without needing my name.

 

Reporter: And both of you played in the game today.

 

Jonathan Roy: Yup.

 

Reporter: So how many goals did you allow combined?

 

Roy reddens Jonathan smiles.

 

Patrick Roy: Eleven.

 

Reporter turns to Jonathan Roy: And how many goals did you allow?

 

Jonathan: (Big Smile) Zero.

 

Edit of Footage---

 

Joe Sakic and his family.

 

Reporter: Now you had a real interesting referee in this game didn’t you?

 

Joe Sakic smiles and pats his son Mitchell on the shoulder: We sure did. Mitchell made a great referee didn’t you?

 

Reporter: He even called his Momma for a penalty didn’t he?

 

Debbie Sakic laughs and kisses Mitchell on the cheek, picking him up and handing him to Joe to hold.

           

Reporter: Now Mitchell, whose team did you want to win? Your Mommy’s or your Daddy’s?

 

Mitchell Sakic looks back and forth between his parents multiple times, blinking. He reddens and then begins to cry.

 

Joe Sakic laughs and hugs his son tightly, patting him on the back.

November 22, 2008

 

Fragment from a Rocky Mountain News article, entitled “Is She For Real”—

 

… “Is she for real?” Ft. Collins resident and single father of two, Timothy O’Shea said with raised eyebrows, “Is that a real question? Are you for real? I mean look at, look at my boy. Do you see him standing right there, I tell you yesterday the kid could barely walk because of that damn Crestfield virus in the milk, I tell you we had dreams for him and everything, he had dreams, wanted to be a Colorado Avalanche hockey player and everything. Almost lost it all because of that damn milk but just twenty minutes ago we see Sister Cecilia, just twenty minutes ago you know?

            “And there’s a crowd and security and everything, and my boy, from his wheelchair, he calls out her name and she looks at him, she looks at him and she smiles. Ah, she smiles and she reaches over and touches his cheek and walks away. Ten minutes ago he stood up, he can walk, he stood up, my boy! He looks healthy as a horse!”

            Mr. O’Shea is not the only parent who has come to see this curious woman dubbed, “Saint Cecilia” and not the only parent with a story of this miraculous nature. Just about everyone who has come into contact with her has some sort of amazing story to tell as a result……

 

 

February 23, 2010

 

Fragment from Society Column of the New York Sentinal

 

…and the highly touted draft pick of the New York Rangers, son of Hall of Fame goaltending Legend Patrick Roy, Jonathan Roy, has drawn upon himself a rain of criticism from feminist and women’s rights groups for his comments yesterday, deemed insensitive and unfeeling. For those who missed it, Jonathan Roy was asked about the recent flood of allegations and evidence of rape and mistreatment of girls by male hockey players at the junior and college levels nationwide in America and in Canada.

            Roy said that girls were never abused or harmed in his presence that he knew of.

            When it was pointed out that some of the cases gaining ground deal with young men who were his teammates at the time, Roy replied, “What can I say, all the fun stuff happens behind my back.”

            The Woman’s rights group W.O.E is demanding that Roy apologize publicly for his comments which they claim were at the least in bad taste, and certainly detrimental for the mental health of the victims…..

 

 

February 25, 2010

 

Fragment from Society Column of the New York Sentinal

 

…has apologized for his statements. “Look I really wasn’t trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or cause any mental damges,” Jonathan Roy said while attending last night’s playoff game between the New York Rangers and Portland Gold Rushers. “I respect women I really do. Thing is I’m always making a joke about something, especially when I don’t know what else to say, and I happened to lay a real bomb there didn’t I? My mom raised me with better values so I want to extend my sincerest apologies to anyone who was hurt or offended.”

            So did that mean his previous comments represented nothing at all of his actual sentiments to the case?

            “Hey,” Roy grinned. “I’m trying to impress my date here; I said I’m sorry, now get lost!”

            Incidentally, Roy’s date in question happened to be none other than superstar Prima Ballerina, Elena Ruiz. When asked how serious their relationship was, Miss Ruiz replied, “We went to school together.”

            And was Miss Ruiz aware of his comments?

            “Hey weirdo,” Elena replied with her usual sarcasm. “Do you think my self esteem is so bad that I’d date a guy I knew to be a chauvinist pig?”

            Of course not, our apologies Miss Ruiz.

 

Denver Public Library Paper Archives—July 1, 2135

 

Clip From Article—Caught in the Crease—Filed: American Women—American History

Publication Date: Undetermined—Marked for Digital Filing as soon as Remainder can be located—Of Interest

 

            The look in her eyes goes from bright to dark in a twinkling. She sighs and takes a drink from her tea and then runs her fingers through her hair.

            “Yeah,” she replies. “Yeah I don’t feel comfortable with that question.”

            “But you know the rumors?” I say knowing full well that the possibility of her escaping them was next to nil.

            Her forehead wrinkles, and one of them stays between her eyes. “Yes our relationship was physical.” She takes another drink from her tea and my gut boils with excitement knowing that never before as she spoken a word about her relationship with Patrick Roy being anything more than professional.

            “I worked for him,” she says and then looks at her hands, at a silver ring on her finger, “I belonged to him. Of course it became physical.”

            “Were you lovers?” I could not resist the question having come so far now in this interview.

            Her nose wrinkles. “He held me down on a bed and slapped the shit out of me; tell me what’s loving about that……”

 

Newspaper Clip: Crucial Data Illegible—Marked for destruction—Unimportant

 

….has issued a statement apologizing for her comments in American Women magazine after being informed by the Estate of Hall of Fame goaltender Patrick Roy of a lawsuit impending against her for slander…