Still On Call

Tuesday, January 15, 2002
Suburbia, California 


Once again, to my relief, I was not called to report to jury duty today. 

Knowing me well, my Maui sister, Joan, gifted me with a Border's gift certificate for Christmas. After a whole afternoon of contented browsing, I winnowed a tall stack of possibilities down to a single hardback that had been obliquely recommended to me. 

An unexpected but welcomed illuminating tome, it is a profound read, hardly fluffy or popcorn.  I am finding it astonishingly coherent with and supportive of a 'mantra' that spontaneously embedded itself into my consciousness almost 30 years ago.  Although I claimed and embraced this 'mantra' as my own, I have never fully understood the wherefores:

(I am) Happy, Healthy, One with God

Over the years, I don't just say the words.  Sometimes I sing them.  Especially when showering. While not exactly arias, my made-up tunes are uplifting and keep those words in the fore to serve as shining stars, helping to illuminate my life path.

Do you have a mantra?

My analytical, linear mind is being challenged by this book, experiencing moments of exasperation and protest. #%*!  It is having an altogether tough time trying to grasp its content, although the intermittent "aha" of unmistakable recognition or insight encourage me to push onward. 

In contrast, my heart is purringly lapping it all up, giving my mind no mind at all. 

Unlike a novel, I can only read it in small doses. No long gulps here.  I find myself taking breaks-- like this one --  to mull things over. Just when I'm ready to give up on it, I'm drawn right back to it.  Upon rereading passages, I am gifted with just enough of a glimpse of comforting truth, just enough to rewarding a hungry mind grasping for understanding.

When their wisdom is teased out, the words create a sense of being embraced.  I sit there, smiling, nodding, even patting my heart. But it has been slow-going.  This is not a book to be skimmed or speed-read.

I've decided to read it aloud. Maybe hearing the words will help.  My (overly) sensible, logical mind is far too accustomed to the straightforward delivery of hard facts and empirical observations. Nothing worthwhile is easy, and this finely-layered book promises to be worth my while. 

I daresay that it might even be transformative, as I'm getting a strong inkling that it is no accident that this book's appearance coincides with this peculiar week in my life.  My entire work week was vacated of all appointments and commitments so I can be on call for jury duty, yet two days into the work week, I have not yet been called.  

I also will have tomorrow free, as again my jury group has not been called to service.  

There are no coincidences, no accidents.  This convergence of events -- cold, book, and being on call for jury duty that has freed up my days this wee, providing a stillness -- has all the earmarks of a divergence in the road ahead.  One of those Ka Manawa Pono experiences: The Time is Now.  

I've been anticipating it, that it has been waiting in the wings for this opportune time of stillness to help me make sense of this journey. 




"Life is a Gift."

Author Unknown

 "The only gift is a portion of thyself..."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


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This web journal was created on a September Morn, 
September 29, 2001
September Morn 2001-2002