Confused and Disturbed

I lost......

I LOST.....

*SIGH*

I guess I should be happy, you know getting rid of that boozing asshole.... but I don't know. This loss bothers me. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't lost before but this bothers me. Normally I just shrug things off, like it never happened, you know? Even if it was a good thing. For some reason however, I have this feeling like I'm missing something........

Could it be that I can't go solo anymore? Could it be I'm missing a companion? I've been alone all my life why change now? Because some guy in some fancy Armani suit comes along and takes me under his wing? I don't need him. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!..... But......

He got what he deserved. Not getting run over, no, but the mental anguish he's going through now. Now he knows what it feels like to be exploited!

[Almost complete silence...... There's water dripping...... Almost complete darkness, but there's a ray of light coming from a barred window. Shadows of other metal bars surround the room and cover a makeshift bed. It's almost like a jail cell, with one difference..... padded walls. There's another shadow, sitting in the corner. It's swaying back and forth, back and forth. Still only the sound of dripping water. The figure just sways back and forth back and forth.]

How does it feel? How does it feel to be closed up behind bars and forced to live like a caged animal?!? YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME! YOU USED ME! I don't feel sorry for you. You brought this on yourself......

Is it him I'm mad at? Or am I mad at myself? Or is it Drake? Thinking he's invincible...... no..... that's not it, it's something else. I can't put my finger on it. I could sit here all night and not know what's bothering me. I used to be quick at figuring out things like this, I used to find the answers to things so easily so why is this so hard? What did I do wrong? Nothing, except for being too trusting..... Maybe that's it, maybe it's because I'm too soft, too laid back. Maybe I'm not fully re-habilitated, it's only been what..... three months?

Ah! Too many questions! I'm starting to get a headache......... AH! Damn it! This hurts like hell! I need an aspirin..... but the doc said I shouldn't...... but it's just one, what harm could it do? AHHHH!!!! You fucking migraine, GO AWAY!!!...... wait it's getting better.... where was I? I don't know I've forgotten, everything's just one big blur, like someone took all the thoughts I've ever had and squished them into one single moment in time. This is so weird.

........Am I crazy?.... It'd explain a lot..... no I'm not crazy...... disturbed?...... I don't know it feels like something is trying to come out, like something in my mind is trying to get out, something I've repressed.

What is it? It's a bunch of people, they're all mumbling...... wait... I see it now....

[It's an arena. There are people everywhere, the place is packed. In the center there's a wrestling ring and on the skirts of the apron there's the Suicide logo. The crowd is yelling and screaming. There are two people in the center of the ring. One is Scythe but the other can't be made out. The fans start to scream in unison and a blistering chorus of boos come from the crowd.]

Wait! Are they booing me? Yeah, they are booing me! Hold on! That never happened! No, the crowd loves me! This never, ever happened! Okay, go away, get out of me head..... I SAID GET OUT! I wish I had a remote control so I could turn this off, or at least change the channel. GO AWAY! This isn't true! I refuse to believe it's true! But what if.....

Is this the cause of all my problems? Could this be the answer? Have I been deceiving myself all this time? When I first started it was never like that.... or was it? Did I just ignore it thinking everything was okay? Thinking I was the good guy? This is so confusing.... so confusing......

There was something I was supposed to do this week.... was it a match? Do I have a match this week? I can't remember. I can't go out this week, no not this week. I'm not ready for this week, no way. My whole frame of mind is way out of whack. I can't think straight. What's that noise? It sounds like a ringing. Is it my phone?

Hello?....

Oh... What the hell do you want? Why would I want to do that.... No I don't feel up to it.... Listen I don't want to do it..... Fine, fine just shut the fuck up, I'll think about it.

What the hell is going on.... Oh I'm too confused, way too confused..... but I can't help thinking.....