Last time on Omochao Land, Ian and Kent Lee were merged into Ian Lee. That’s right… IAN LEE! Moving right along… They still have yet to be judged by the… judge of the underworld, Roy. As for Sonic/Bob, Fred and he are going to try to get out of the Dreamcast.

Fred, after running away from Sonic/Bob… let’s call him Bonic… decides to find out who’s in charge of crazy Omochao Land.

Fred: Ex-squeeze me, but who’s in charge here?

Omochao #34: I don’t know, go ask your dad!

Fred: Right… I’m going over here now.

Omochao #34 flies away and Fred decides that he must kill Bonic in order to restore peace to the galaxy. He goes into the local pawnshop…

Fred: Right, I’ll have three beef jerkies, a can of soda, some illegal explosives, and a Chinese finger trap.

Merchant: Um… explosives aren’t illegal here, just go to aisle four!

Fred: Oh, I knew that.

Fred goes to aisle four.

Fred: Here I am in aisle four.

Man: DID YOU SAY KYLE CHORE!?

Fred: No… aisle four.

Man: THANK GOODNESS!

Fred: Stop…. SHOUTING!

Man: SORRY! MY NAME IS IVANA! IVANA TINKLE!

Fred: Ivana tinkle?

Man: THEN USE THE BATHROOM! HA, HA, HA, HA!

Fred: Anyway, if you’ll get out of the way so I can buy my explosives in aisle four…

Fred hurries up and buys three grenades.

Meanwhile in the afterworld, Ian Lee is about to be judged…

Roy: Let’s see here Ian… looks like Kent was secretly happy when the Soviet Union fell…

Ian: What do you mean? That was a good thing!

Roy: Are you kidding? The USSR was half my act! And after Boris Yeltzin was assassinated I had to quit show biz!

Ian: Um… Yeltzin is still alive…

Roy: What? Are you sure? I met him at a bar in hell.

Ian: Yeah… I’m sure…

Roy: Well, if he wasn’t Boris Yeltzin, he sure knew a lot about him.

Ian: Can we get back to it?

Roy: What?

Ian: My judgment…

Roy: Right, since every religion says you go to hell if you worship any other God, heaven doesn’t exist anymore due to lack of business. Have a great eternity.

Roy pulls a level and Ian falls through the cloud into the dark abyss of hell.

Ian: I’ll get you for this Middler!

Bonic: Bonic bonic bo-bonic, banana-nana no-nonic, me my mo-monic, Bonic!

Bert the Turtle: Bonic sure does like himself. Let’s see if he knows what to do when the bomb comes… Quick Bonic, there’s the bomb! Good Bonic, he knows to duck and cover in the rare chance of nuclear war.

Bonic: Thanks Bert the Turtle, you’re my hero!

Bert: I sure like this book, but don’t take my word for it…

Music plays in the background.

Fred: Freeze asshole!

Bonic: This is the ultimate life form… Chaos… CONTROL!!!

Bonic disappears as Fred shoots the bullet. Fred looks around in shock and discovers that Bonic is nowhere to be found.

Suddenly Fred wakes up out of bed sweating…

Fred: What a horrible nightmare that was.

Fred’s Mom: Don’t worry honey, you safe now, on the good old 27th floor.

Fred: 27th floor!?!?

Fred wakes up again from the double nightmare.

Fred: What a horrible double nightmare!

Bonic: Rise a shine, it’s butt whooping time!

Fred looks up into the barrel of the shotgun, apparently, Bonic did a chaos control right behind Fred and knocked him out. How I know this, I don’t know!

Bonic: I will enjoy watching you die Mister Hyde.

Fred: My name… is DRAGON!

Fred grabs the gun with both hands and breaks it in half with one mighty blow.

Bonic: What? How did you do that?

Fred: We’re inside a computer program, I just figured that this world is just like the Matrix, and I can pretty much break all the laws of physics.

Bonic: You will regret telling me that.

Bonic suddenly leaps about twenty feet in the air and comes down on Fred.

Bonic: Ah! You were right!

Fred: Ow…

Fred leaps off the island onto the next one rolling on the ground then taking out his grenades.

Fred: Get up Dragon, get up, GET UP!

He gets up and runs away. Apparently he lost Bonic for good, or so he hopes.

So… Ian Lee is in hell. What fun. The first level of hell is the tamest one…

Satan: Welcome to Level One of Hell!

Ian: Wait a tic; this is just a computer version of hell. I am not really dead.

Satan: How utterly, utterly ridiculous!

Ian breaks Satan’s arm then jumps in the air and side kicks him…

Ian: Whoa, just like in the Matrix. I guess it has the same rules because it is a computer program… Cool.

Satan: Ouch…

What will happen in the next chapter of Omochao Land? I don’t know, because I haven’t thought that far ahead!