Last time in Omochao Land, everyone died… except Andy, who is stuck in Omochao Land. He was promptly crushed with a giant foot. There was a funeral held in their honor back in the real world…

Fred’s Mom: I can’t believe my son is dead son is dead son is dead son is dead son is dead…

Bob: I can’t believe it! It froze!

Bob kicks his Dreamcast and hits the reset button. As the system is loading the game again, he thinks back to what just happened.

Author’s Note: Yes, this is my shameless way of having… A STORY RECAP. STRAP IN!

Our story began with Robert (Bob) buying Sonic Adventure 3. (Which actually did come out under the title “Sonic Heroes,” I bought it and returned it promptly the next day, it was worse than the fake one I came up with in this story.)

Anyway, he buys it and it is basically the same game as Sonic Adventure 2, Sega was just out to make some money. His best friend Ian is there to watch him play. Ian and Robert are what the outside world refers to as “nerds.” Don’t spend much time working up the muscle mass if you get my meaning.

Robert throws his Dreamcast out his window in frustration and it hits our hero Kent Lee in the head. He grabs it and runs home. Robert and Ian go chasing after him. At Kent’s place, Fred, being the jerk he is, spills soda on the Dreamcast and Kent, Fred, Robert, Ian, and later Andy, are all transported into the world of Omochao Land.

Author’s Note: I am getting a bit bored retyping the whole story when I just want to move on, so I will tell you everything that happened inside the Dreamcast in… hmm… one VERY LONG sentence. Here we go!

Group meets Omochaos, Author rips off various movies, TV shows, video games, and books SEVERAL times, Sonic’s shoes fuse with Bob making him Bonic, Bonic kills Ian and Kent, they become Ian Lee, Fred and Bonic fight, Author writes horrible rap about Pentium processors, Ian Lee and Fred kill Bonic, Andy shows up, Ian and Fred go back to reality, oops there goes gravity, Watson the Hamster makes guest appearance, Fred kills everyone, foot kills Andy, funeral, Author sits down to write Part 2, HILARITY ENSUES!

As Bob stares at the screen, suddenly it a dog appears playing a banjo. It strums a few strings then looks up and says “I’m sorry; your data has been lost. Also, the princess is in another castle.” Bob’s worst nightmare has come true. He grabs a hammer and starts smashing the Dreamcast. Tiny white bits of obsolete technology fly everywhere.

Bob suddenly wakes up. “Oh man! Did all that happen, or was that just some sort of horrible dream?”

Jockey Troll: No dream, lose the race fatty!

Bob suddenly wakes up… again. “Oh man! Did all that happen, or was that just TWO horrible dreams?”

Bob looks around and realizes he’s in line. Fred, Ian, and Andy are floating in front of him; they all have halos over their heads.

Bob: Guys?

Ian: Hey, what’s up?

Bob: Where are we?

Fred: I figured we are in line to get judged, whether we go to heaven or hell, you know.

Bob: So we are really dead?

Andy: Yeah, even me. It was bad enough Fred killed all of you and then himself, but a giant foot crushed me, seems like the Author was out of ideas.

Bob: Oh…

Group: …

Silence lasts a few minutes, finally:

Ian: So I was drinking a milk carton the other day… And it said on the side “Milk fuels outrageous fun?”

Fred: Are you asking us?

Ian: No… I thought it said “Milk fuels outrage.”

Fred: Oh, that’s kind of funny.

Ian: Yeah… kind of…

Ian coughs and looks at the ground. “So…”

Pat: Hittie hittie hoo!

Andy: Who the hell are you!?

Pat: It’s me, Pat. Everyone loves me! I make situations funny and less awkward. I always show up when things get uncomfortable!

Fred: Where were you when I was in aisle four?

Andy: Where were you at the prom!?

Pat: Church and movies, respectively. HIGH FIVE!

(Author’s Note: I haven’t made an Author’s Note in a while, so here’s one: Quack, quack, quack!)

Pat holds his hand out in front of Bob. Bob stares at it for several seconds.

Pat: Don’t leave me hangin’ homie!

Bob reluctantly lays his hand out. Pat slaps it hard.

Pat: Alright! So now, who wants to blow this joint?

Ian: Is that some kind of messed up drug reference?

Pat: Don’t you watch them movies?

Fred: Them movies dedicated to them kids.

Ian: Drug movies about them kids?

Pat: No son, them movies with them actors who say them cool phrases. Like “hittie hittie hoo”! And “damn homie.”

Bob: Aren’t those from a rap song and a TV show, irrespectively.

Pat: No son, I made them up.

Fred: Didn’t you just say they were from movies?

Pat: Sh*t son, ya got me there! Aww snap!

Andy suddenly lets out a huge scream. “Shut up! All of you! Just shut up! AAH!!!”

Everyone is quiet, and things start getting awkward and uncomfortable.

Pat: Awkward and uncomfortable? That’s my cue, baby! SHAZAM!

Andy: Shut up!!! Why did you come here!??!

Pat: Oh yeah. Your minds are still partially connected to Bob’s Dreamcast. I’m here to… free your minds… (Author: Patent pending.) So everyone close your eyes and think good thoughts, and open them when I tell you.

Andy, Fred, Ian, and Robert all look at each other.

Ian: Will we be able to finally get back to the real world and back to our families if we go with you?

Pat: I guarantee it!*

Ian: Alrightly then.

All five of them close their eyes and think good thoughts.

Pat: Playstation Nine…

Fred: Linkin Park…

Andy: Pat shutting up…

Bob: Sonic’s shoes…

Ian: Pentium two to the pentium shoe…

Pat: Okie-dokie! Here we go!

The entire group suddenly disappears from the line, much to the dismay of Roy, the judge of the underworld. (Author: See Chapter 2 of Part 1 for details.)

The group reappears inside Sonic Adventure 3. The entire group shouts. “NOT AGAIN!”

Pat: We must return to the source in order to free ourselves.

That’s right naysayers who thought Part 2 would never come, here it is! One chapter = DONE. What will happen next time? Do I even have a vague idea? Quite possibly! Tune in!

*Guarantee not guaranteed.