Why do you haunt me so?
My waking hours bring forth images from the past.
Replayed in slow motion so that I may view my mistakes
Pain fills me as hindsight heightens to its utmost clarity
Yet, it is a purgatory I welcome
My mind sits frozen in time whenever I see you
Your picture is enlarged, sharpened, and framed
When it vanishes, it is replaced by bitterness and regret
As I wait for the cycle to begin once more

My dreams conjure up your face
I see visions I could never bear to view awake
In them, you do what I would never believe possible
Terrible thoughts ravage my subconscious
Fears I cannot begin to face are brought to the forefront
And I wake, the horror still on my face
My breathing ragged
Yet I would dream that dream again, if only to be with you once again

But the mention of your name provokes a different response
Neither fear nor regret, bitterness nor pain emerge
From the shadows of my mind
Confusion reigns supreme, yet one thing is clear
My happiness is your happiness
You drive me to distraction, yet I cherish every moment
And if someday, you should choose a path seperate from mine
My loss would be immeasurable
And my life truly empty

Stanley Lui ... 95/08/30