Merry Christmas!
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. 'Cuz the cat had pounced on him and tore him apart - Ate his mousey intestines and chewed up his heart. Kitty thought she heard sleigh bells, which made her take pause - She stopped daintily licking the blood from her claws. "Must be Santa," thought Kitty (that quite clever cat) 'Cuz nobody else climbs down the chimney like that. Indeed it was ol' Santa so jolly and fat With a huge load of presents and all for the cat! "Wow, the best Christmas ever!" Kitty thought with a purr, Then she coughed up a hairball and shed some more fur.
December 19, 2003- The other cat seems to have an interest in copulation, which (thank them for their sadism) my captors will soon "fix". Told him of the fingernail torture, and he didn't even believe me. I showed him my mutilated paws and he gasped in horror. Then I broke the bad news. "You know why that dog licks his nuts?" I said, "It's because he still has nuts to lick, if you catch my drift." I fully support the horrors the jingling little men will inflict upon my fellow captive, tearing away his manhood as they soon will. December 22, 2003- Yes, they are monsters, but I am so happy! Their great leader "Bob Barker" made his command and -- the Sphinx be praised – they answered his call! I bet that cat won’t be strutting around here so cocky anymore! December 24, 2003- Got stoned on cat nip tonight. At the height of it all, I had a vision, a hallucenogenic revelation: they are the prisoners and I am the captor! Why haven't I seen this all before?
