Schmookie - The future Schmookie Backdoor, DDS, eked out a 152-76 (66.7%) mark before bailing out in the
final weeks of the season amidst his intense school load. The loss was keenly felt here on the SJS Home Page. Schmookie's
taunting of my brother (whom he had never met) in the 1997 season coupled with his irrational adulation of Tavian Banks
and Tim Dwight that same year established the schmook as one of the greats. We earnestly hope he can come back strong
in 2001, unlike the University of Iowa.
7
Dan - Former champion Dan turned in a 219-112 (66.2%) season, a mild improvement on last season's disappointing
finish. A legend of the Picks Contest, the Winer has yet to regain that championship form of 1996 despite a brilliant
finish in 1998. Still, Dan's 16-9 navigation of a difficult bowl season, along with our excitement about the
rebirth of hockey legend Mario Lemieux, impressed the Awards committee to tab Dan with the 2000 Expert To Watch.
Given annually to pickers who come on at the end of the year, it amounts to a preseason #1 ranking for the upcoming
campaign. In its 3 previous year history, the Expert To Watch committee has already successfully predicted a championship
(Kelly, 1999).
7
Kevin - Tying with Dan with a 219-112 (66.2%) season, Kevin probably should've finish higher than the
Winer but turned in a disappointing 12-13 bowl mark. While not an official award, Kevin can take pride in finishing
first among the St. John clan, the third time he has accomplished that feat (in four years). While the youngest St. John
member does not go home with any hardware this year, he does receive with great respect a special Properly Placed
Priorities Commendation. This alliterative commendation is an antithesis to the dreaded Misplaced Priorities Award,
and recognizes that Kevin picked every single game this season despite being in Europe for 3 weeks and despite working
nights and weekends on a major legal case in November. Judged against these hardships, the seventh place finish looks
pretty good.
9
Mr. Offense - Proved that just picking based on average offensive production gets one a respectable
189-99 (65.6%) season performance. Mr. Offense capped off a strong season with a 15-10 bowl picking performance
that equaled Oz's mark. Mr. O shamed those of us finishing lower by demonstrating that such a relatively simple picking
strategy can outperform all the fuzzy logic of highly evolved (but incompetent) human beings.
10
Keith - After a fairly strong start, Keith limped home with a 217-114 (65.6%) season and
forgettable 11-14 bowl mark. Always in contention for the Renegade Award (second this year to the new h man),
Keith seems best able to stick to his
unconventional picks and yet remain competitive in the overall standings, unlike the new h man and Chuck Taylor. Keith
had two OOL picks correct this year, second only to b1llys1ms. Just to annoy him, all this runners-up-ism has earned
Keith the John Cooper Trophy for being competitive as always for various prizes, but really not being good enough
to be awarded anything. Unlike Coop and Ohio State, however, we here at the SJS Picks Contest will happily welcome
Keith back in 2001.
11
b1llys1ms - The most important statistic to b1llys1ms is, no doubt, 13-0, which was Oklahoma's record in 2000, or
perhaps the very similar 13-2, which was Oklahoma's score over Florida State in the 2001 Orange Bowl. But for the record
keepers here at the SJS Home page, b1lly finished his rookie season with a 189-100 (65.4%) record and a strong
14-11 bowl mark. That rookie mark was enough for the 2000 Rookie Of The Year Award, shared with CoconutHead.
The upstart was also the first-ever recipient of the designation Limb Walker, perhaps apropos for someone from the
Indian Territory of Oklahoma. Limb Walker was so named by 5 correct OOL picks, 3 more than the nearest competitors. The
rookie can be lauded for an uncompromising picks style that proved good enough to beat out several more senior experts.
12
CoconutHead - The only other rookie to complete the season, CoconutHead chimed in with a 202-107 (65.4%)
season and 12-13 bowl mark. CoconutHead was all over the page his first year, winning 3 weeks, losing 2 weeks,
scoring several Picks of the Week, and staying competitive especially early on. While we disdain handing out shared
awards here (and there were a handful of those in 2000), it was not possible to deny CoconutHead a share of the
2000 Rookie Of The Year Award on the basis of tenths of a percentage point. The main reason was that CoconutHead
picked more games than b1llys1ms, and thus earned his 65.4% more convincingly. Hopefully these two will try to break
the tie with a spirited battle in 2001.
13
Matthias - One of the most tragic figures in the history of the Picks Contest, Matthias has ever-battled
personal demons in submitting his picks. While not submitting every week again this year, the Minnesotan's
190-101 (65.3%) offering was championship-eligible... but not championship-quality. There was no solace this
year in a Midwest Region Championship either as rival Oz stole that title along with the overall championship. Matthias
did prove a strong browbeater in personal emails to Oz cc'ed to the Webmaestro, and this paper trail allowed his
confirmation as the 2000 co-winner of the Browbeater of the Year Award. We'd all like to see Matthias clean up
his act and 1) submit picks weekly in 2001, and 2) browbeat publicly ala the mailing list so was can all revel in his
witty barbs. The scandal-mongers among us relish the era of Jackass-gate.
14
Webmaestro - A subject on which I, not surprisingly, have a lot to say. My 213-118 (64.4%) monstrosity
caps off the second consecutive year of fumble, including a gut-grinding 12-13 bowl debacle. Heading into the
bowls, just two games shy of finally upsetting arch-rival Dan, the 12-13 score went against Dan's bowl-best 16-9
virtuoso performance, and left me once again with "what ifs". I finally won the Loyalty Award for making two
picks for Florida (Florida State, Miami) that I was privately convinced were doomed. That after being lambasted on
the mailing list for picking against Florida in a Florida win. Still, I took pride in the fact that I continued my
literary excellence with my third Pulitzer Prize (in four years), and the second one for an essay making fun of the Tennessee
Volunteers ("Volunteering To Be Stupid On The Internet" to go along with 1998's "Musings of a Sore Loser").
15
John - John rode a 212-119 (64.0%) record and a rather weak 10-15 bowl performance to a brand-new
commendation on the Picks Contest: the Army Cadet Cross. While there are many good connotations to being associated
with the U.S. Army, this award is given now, as warranted, to a former champion that scares nobody. Long gone are the
days of Army's national championships, and while John's title is not so far removed as those of Army, there are some who
are starting to say that a return to championship form in John is about as likely. With Dan's third place effort in 1998,
and the second place showing from Heater14 and Kelly this year, John has hardly lived up to the new model of excellence
in former champions. Perhaps most damning is his close proximity to the Webmaestro in the standings the past two
seasons...
16
The New H Man - The New H Man joined a season already in progress, and navigated through to a 171-96 (64.0%)
record and 12-13 bowl performance. Ever the river-boat gambler, the New H Man's 0.255 Upset Index-- picking an
upset in fully one quarter of his picks, gave him his second-consecutive Renegade Award. As usual, his renegade
picking strategy did not translate to success on the picks field, though he did pick up a Pick of the Week here and there.
Still, his performance was right around his career average: the Steady Freddie of the lower division.
17
Saint Daddy - Saint Daddy checked in with another substandard season, going 210-121 (63.4%)
over the course of the year and just 12-13 in the bowl games. Saint Daddy finished third among the St. John clan,
a designation which Webmaestro is making increasingly hard to obtain. Saint Daddy picked up the good news/bad news
Dale Helms Award for the expert that started out the year with great promise only to become a nonfactor. Saint
Daddy indeed started the year extremely strong, leading at one point early on, but demonstrated again that the college
football season actually becomes more confusing, not less, and the year is played out. Nonetheless, if he can find a
way to build on his early-season performance in 2001, there is hope for Saint Daddy still.
18
Dr. Defense - Dr, Defense put together an unremarkable 171-111 (61.5%) record to go with a midling
13-12 bowl performance in the computer-expert's first season. He was clearly outclassed by Mr. Offense, suggesting
that defensive excellence is a less accurate predictor of wins than offensive excellence. Dr. Defense was able to
outperform computer-generated rival Homer, however, suggesting that picking teams based on defensive numbers is slightly
more reliable than going with the home team.
19
ROBERT - ROBERT undoubtedly experienced the most torturous season of all the experts, and testimony to his
fortitude are that his 197-129 (60.4%) and 14-11 bowl performance indicate that he at least stuck it out
for the full season. Consider: ROBERT finshed 1999 with a 67.9% mark just a game back of Picks Champion Kelly. He
had every reason to be optimisitc going into the 2000 tilt. Also note that he was the two-time defending, undisputed
guru of the Send Me To Vegas Award as the maestro of picking close scores. But the 2000 campaign was a disaster for the
Surly One, finishing dead last among human experts, just a hair ahead of Homer, and behind Dr. Defense and Mr. Offense,
whose picking strategies are only a bit more advanced than the coin-flipping approach. Add to that that he was
absolutely no factor in the Vegas contest, ceding it the Master O quite early on. For these reasons we must sadly
sanctify his misery for all time as the 2000 slam-dunk choice for the Fall From Grace Award.
20
Homer - Homer's 173-123 (58.4%) record was again better than 50% and indicates that there is some home
field advantage in college football even when the majority of games picked were competitive affairs going in. But Homer
again claimed the Bottomfeeder Award for the third straight year. No "woo-hoos" again, just plenty of "D'ohs".
