SJS College Football Extravaganza
Parade Of Champions, 2002

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2002 Parade Of Champions

The Picks Championship He's back! He's one of the most vexing and hard to figure experts in the Picks Contest. Who is that guy under the black afro wig? Who is this figure who champions the St. John's Johnnies above all college football teams? Who is this guy that trades in the SJS Blue Ribbon for the SJS Black Ribbon in 2001, and then trades it back this year for the Blue Ribbon again? He is the wise and all-powerful Oz, the mightly wizard whose legend belies the mundanity of what's behind the curtain. He is the SJS Picks Contest Champion of 2002, the contests' second two-time winner, and the contests' second two-time Blue Ribbon holder. Importantly, he is the only expert to have twice-won BOTH the Blue Ribbon (correct picks leader) and Picks Championship (percentage leader), making him a candidate for the greatest picker of all time. Oz's acendancy in 2002 has its laudatory and detractory elements. Oz really snuck up on the Picks Panel this year; lying in wait for much of the season looking for his chance to break through. In fact, it wasn't until the final 3 weeks when he was seriously talked about as the potential champion. Much of the talk in mid and even late-season centered on the developing rivalry of former champion Kelly and 2001 Rookie of the Year Pony Boy, who was defying the sophomore slump in his quest for the title. Pony Boy maintained a steady performance late in the season, and although his lead slowly eroded (passed first by Consensus Curtis and tied by Oz with two weeks to go), he never once had a disastrous week of prognostication. That is, until the 11-17 bowl performance. Oz picked very well in those final weeks which included, of course, the three hardest weeks of the season: rivalry week, the conference championships, and the bowls. Although Oz finished the bowl season an uninspiring 15-13, he was only 3 off the bowl week leader (BioSaint) and was the only one of his closest rivals (Kelly, Pony Boy, and SIR CHAPS) to finish above .500. On the downside, Oz set a new low with the lowest upset index of all time (0.083), sinking below his own all-time conservative picking mark in 1998. Oz, do you also wear blue suits and vote for the Bushes? But these are quibbles. All hail the Picks Contest Champion, Midwest Region Champion, Blue Ribbon Awardee, Freddie Favorite Certified Wizard of Osland! His 265-107 mark (during which he picked all 372 games) was set in a season that had us pick 41 more games than in 2000, the previous record season for most games picked. In part that was due to the longer season this year (most teams played 12 regular-season games) and in part to a couple of marathon 25-game slates mid to late season. Although Oz's 71.2% mark was below that of Consensus Curtis (72.0%) and well below the all time record (boat sidious, 75% in 1997), it was the best performance by a champion since heater14's 71.5% mark in 1998. And so there is no new Hall of Fame Enshrinee this year. But these marks will go down in history. Congratulations Oz! The Ribbons As reported, Oz took home the SJS Blue Ribbon with an all-time best 265 correct picks. On the flip-side, Webmaestro became the first 3-time recipient of the SJS Black Ribbon for most incorrect picks by a human expert with 130. In fairness to Webmaestro, two competitive experts for the Black Ribbon (Kevin and the New H Man) neglected to submit picks during the hard-to-predict bowl season. On The Way Up/On The Way Down Our Most Improved Expert this season was Matthias, who picked at an abysmal 60.7% clip in 2001, and was that year really the only human expert in the history of the page to compete with Homer for the Bottom Feeder Award. Matthias rebounded this season with a 228-111 (67.3%) mark, good enough for 8th place among human experts. This season's Expert To Watch is BioSaint. Although BioSaint finished disappointingly, the Hall Of Fame Committee cited his 2001 early-season performance and his panel-best 18-10 bowl picking mark as evidence that 2003 could be a breakout season for the oft-frustrated "old man of the contest". The Fall From Grace Award is awarded to the expert that has the most trouble capitalizing on the previous season's success. Schmookie, named the expert to watch last year on the strength of his excellent performance in 2001, failed to follow through this year, falling from 2001's 68.0% performance to a mediocre 65.5% this season. Always ready to admit their mistakes, the Hall Of Fame Committee has given schmookie the Fall From Grace. This year's Dale Helms Award was granted, in a narrow decision, to SIR CHAPS. CHAPS continued last season's surprising success by hanging around the top of the standings most of the season. Although he missed a week of picks, CHAPS was nonetheless eligible for the Picks Championship, but faded at the end of the year. His 14-14 bowl mark opitimized his latter weeks. The Army Cadet Cross was awarded to Matthias, which requires some explanation on two points. First, the Cross is given to "a former champion who know longer scares anyone." How could Matthias, never a champion, win this award? The Hall Of Fame Committee decided to broaden the nomination parameters, citing the fact that Matthias' first-place showing in 1999, while not over enough games to make him eligible for the Picks Championship, is nonetheless so cemented in the legend of the Contest that he should be deserving of Honorary Championship status. For those who object, let me hasten to point out that the only thing this title carries with it is the possibility for public humiliation with the later awarding of the Army Cadet Cross. Second, how can an expert win Most Improved and still not scare anyone? Climbing out of the bottom into 8th place is praiseworthy, but hardly frightening.

The Statistical Awards Very often the most interesting awards on the SJS Picks Contest are those based on sound statistical evidence. Whereas the Expert To Watch, Pulitzer, and other prizes are somewhat subjective and are also somewhat unpredictable, those gleaned from the weekly stats report are objective and can be actively competed for during the season. This year's Renegade Award, presented to the expert with the highest upset index, goes to the New H Man. His 0.233 mark barely edged out Webmaestro's 0.231. Unfortunately, the New H Man married this mark to his 29.73% upset IQ, a recipe for disaster. The New H Man, never one to shrink from an upset call, took home the trophy for the third time. The flip side to the Renegade is the Freddie Favorite Certificate for the expert who most mirrors Consensus Curtis. This year's "consensus" choice was page champion Oz, who set an all-time low with 0.083. Oz did have the page-high upset IQ as well at over 45%. This year's Send Me To Vegas Award goes to the newly-renamed boat sidious. In one of the more competitive Vegas contests yet, boat's 40 close scores put him above Kelly's 37. Although we picked the most games in 2002 in the history of the Picks Contest, boat's 40 exact scores still fell short of Master O's 42 in 2000. The Limb Walker designation goes to the expert who picks the most out on a limb games correctly. An out on a limb pick is one in which no other human expert agrees. For the second straight season, Webmaestro was the Picks Contest Limb Walker, proving right 3 times in just 6 OOL picks. (If his Upset IQ were as good as his OOL IQ, perhaps he'd avoid the Black Ribbon from time to time!) The last of these more concrete, statistics-based awards is the brand new POW Award. POW in this case refers not to a prisoner of war, but to the expert most competitive throughout the season for the weekly Pick Of The Week. The Pick Of The Week has been available for 3 years, but has never been an official statistic of the Hall Of Fame. Thus, it was impossible (and still is) for there to be a year-end award for most Picks of the Week. The POW Award, however, serves the same function and does it better. Most Picks Of The Week are granted to experts who pick an out on a limb pick or an exact score. Of course, if there are multiple Out On A Limb picks, or multiple Exact Scores, or some combination, then a judgment call is made. Likewise, an expert could conceivably him or herself have multiple out on a limb or exact picks, but could only get credit for one pick of the week. The POW Award is therefore to be granted to the expert that obtains the most Out On A Limb Picks AND Exact Scores over the course of the season. This objective award therefore captures the spirit of the Picks Of The Week and makes up for its shortcomings. Furthermore, although this is a new award, the Hall Of Fame has kept both Out On A Limb and Exact Scores since 2000, allowing retroactive awards to occur (see Hall Of Fame). This year's winner, with an amazing 4 exact scores and 1 Out On A Limb pick, is CoconutHead. His 4 exact scores tie Master O's 2000 mark for best all-time. The Other Awards There remains some more hardware to hand out. First, the coveted Pulitzer Prize was awarded to Webmaestro for his aptly titled commentary "Believe It Or Not: Bob Hanslick." The title referred to Bob Hanslick's appearance in Ripley's Believe Or Not for his playing on 3 different Big Ten football teams in the 1940s, but could also refer to the short discussion on the mailing list following the commentary's appearance about whether the story were true or not. Webmaestro, with the bully pulpit of the web page, is always a favorite for the Pulitzer, although sources say that Oz's breakdown of Picks Championship scenarios on the mailing list received strong consideration. This season's Loyalty Award goes to Pony Boy whose shot at a Picks Championship was arguably derailed by his overconfidence in (or at least, buoyant optimism about) the Florida Gators. Pony Boy was awarded a PhD from the University of Florida in 1997 with all the rights and priveledges thereto appertaining, none of which was apparently the right to win a Picks Championship aided by the degree-granting institution. The Misplaced Priorities Award was quite deservingly awarded to b1lly s1ms, who returned to the page after quite a hiatus early in 2002 only to leave us again when pressures of moving and a new job assailed him. Before dropping out, b1lly got off to a scorching pace, such that his annoyingly useless picks percentage was, throughout the year, emblazoned impotently in first place on the computer-generated stats and standings pages. After some consideration, the Properly Placed Priorities Commendation was given to heater14 who took a hit in submitting picks well before the games one week to avoid missing a week when he was out of town. Kelly shared the award for a similar reason. Speaking of heater and Kelly, Kelly was awarded her first, and quite deserving Steady Freddie Certificate this season for her laudatory consistency. Heater14 had been the only recipient of the award, further confirming his steadiness, and received strong consideration this season for his competitive 68.8% showing. In the end, though, it was decided that heater's last championship was in 1998; since then, Kelly has won twice and has been a factor in the other years. Furthermore, her only real bad year was her rookie season, a debut rapidly fading from memory. Thus, while both experts deserve steady praise, Kelly was unanimously recommended as this year's Steady Freddie honoree. The Hall Of Fame Committee declined to name two awards this year. The Rookie Of The Year, which is only available to sparkle39, was deemed undeserving of a winner. Sparkle's only occasional participation was not award-worthy. The Hall Of Fame Committee did decide, however, that should sparkle come back to us, whoever and wherever he is, he/she would still have rookie eligibility. In the biggest upset shocker of them all, and one that speaks volumes, the Hall Of Fame Committee adamently declined to award a Browbeater Of The Year, the most coveted of the page's meaningless awards. Said a source: "The Hall Of Fame Committee was disgusted with the nominees this year. Webmaestro browbeat Kelly, but behind the scenes, was sending her consciliatory emails. Boat sidious complained of FSU browbeats from Webmaestro, but these hardly rose to the level of past years. Kelly browbeat boat sidious, but the controversy rapidly evaporated. Matthias and Oz exchanged their usual barbs, but in private emails hidden from the rest of the group. Boat sidious sent some half-hearted and apologetic muckrakes. Where was schmookie? Or Kevin? Or SIR CHAPS? No, the Hall Of Fame Committee will not besmirch the great name of Browbeater of the Year with another compromise candidate." Wow! A ringing indictment from the Committee. Next Year As of this writing, the Hall Of Fame Committee and Webmaestro have agreed to another one-year commitment to the SJS Picks Contest. I thank everyone for the first great 6 years of the picks page, and look forward to a great seventh next year!