Written by Scylla, 29 July 2001
Feedback? Yes, please. sscylla@hotmail.com
Janeway/Chakotay
Rating: PG-13ish. I mean, it’s Chakotay and Janeway. How hot can it possibly get?^_^
This is my first fanfic, in any fandom. Have patience. And English is not my first language. Have even more patience.
Could this actually happen? I have no idea, but I enjoyed writing it. And I took some liberties regarding Janeway’s quarters…
Lots of thanks to Sara for agreeing to leave our room whenever I felt she was blocking my creativity.^_^
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It’s the anniversary of Seven’s arrival to Voyager. Neelix is throwing her a party in the mess-hall, and Chakotay and Janeway are planning on going there together. But Chakotay is late…
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Janeway ordered the door open, saw who stood outside, and smiled.
“Finally, I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.”
Chakotay had a slightly distressed look on his face, as he handed her a not-quite-as-good-a-replica-of-a-daffodil-as-he-would-have-wished.
“Oh thanks, you shouldn’t have, no really. Come in while I put this in water, no, please, I insist. Oh, Chakotay, stop that pouting, it’s lovely, honest.”
Suddenly, a tremor shook the ship, and with a ‘Pffhhhsssss’ everything went dark.
“Janeway to bridge.”
“Janeway to bridge.”
“No contact?”
“No.”
“Chakotay to bridge.”
“We have to get out.”
They tried to find their way to the door. A muffled ‘ouch’ indicated that somehow the couch had gotten into Chakotay’s way. Janeway, knowing her way around her quarters, was already at the door.
“Are you alright?” she asked, trying to hide her amusement, but didn’t quite succeed in doing so.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“Good….But the door is stuck.”
“I wonder what happened?”
“No idea, but I’m sure everything’ll be alright.” She walked up to him, her eyes growing accustomed to the darkness, and patted him soothingly on the chest. “However, I think we could do with some light in here, and I do believe I have a candle or two in my desk.”
Janeway struck a match, and a cozy light filled the room. She placed the candles on the coffee table and sat down in the corner of the couch.
Chakotay remained standing, looking uneasy. It struck Janeway how good he was at doing so, and she suppressed a sudden urge to smile.
“Please, do sit down.”
Chakotay obediently seated himself in the opposite corner; sitting any closer would probably make him feel even more apprehensive. This was strange really. He had been close to Kathryn before on several occasions, but he had never felt quite like this before…
They sat quietly, looking at the candles, the tiny flames casting shadows on their faces, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, Janeway broke the silence.
“Too bad we missed Seven’s birthday-party.”
“Neelix will be disappointed.” Seven probably wouldn’t care though. Chakotay had asked her earlier what she wanted for her birthday, and she had just given him one of her looks and told him she didn’t see the need. And why would she? He himself had never quite understood the need of giving presents on every occasion thinkable.
Janeway was annoyed. Annoyed because she didn’t know what had happened, because she couldn’t do anything about it, and, most of all, because she had no idea what to say. A rather disturbing thought, indeed.
Chakotay felt just as confused. He wondered if he might be having one of those dreams again.
“What do you reckon we ought to do?”
“I believe we should find a way to contact the others, but I’ve given it a lot of thought, and it seems hopeless.”
Good, so at least he was awake. “I’ll just try the door again, shall I?” he said and got up. “No, still not working.”
He went back to the couch and hesitated for a moment. Where should he sit? Perhaps it would seem a little rude to go back to his corner, and he didn’t want to offend Kathryn.
He sat down in the middle.
Janeway still had no idea what to say, so she started discussing what was always suitable; their work. Might as well get something done…
Finally, they reached an agreement on that whole Is It Wise To Take The Chance And Cross Yet Another Nebula Just Because It’s A Shorter Way Home?-discussion they had been at for weeks. Janeway won as usual, but instead of enjoying her victory - Did this man ever win a discussion? – she was already thinking about how to tell Seven, remembering all too well how the Borg had reacted the last time.
Yet more uncomfortable silence followed. After a few minutes, Janeway gave up and went to get something to drink.
“Anything for you?”
“A beer, thanks.”
Well, if the power supplies, or life-support, or whatever it was, had to go offline, they sure could have picked a worse time to do so. This is actually kinda cozy, what with the candles and all. And now she’s getting me a drink…But surely… no, she can’t have been planning this, can she? Oh, stop being such an idiot; she doesn’t love you and she never will!
Janeway returned, placed one beer-can in front of Chakotay, another beside it, sat down, and sighed.
“I can’t help to think how isolated we’ve become. The power goes out, and suddenly we can’t open the god-damn-doors!” she drank some of the beer, made a disgusted face, and put the can down. “And the beer can’t even stay cool!”
Chakotay listened quietly to her outrage, and felt just a tad uneasy about what to do. It seemed it didn’t really matter what he said, better let her cool off, always better to let her cool off… But he also felt a sting of guilt. Here he was, locked in a room with Kathryn, and he could think of worse places to be, and his biggest worries were what to say and how to act. They should think about the rest of the crew! For all they knew, they might be dead. What if they really were dead, what if he and Kathryn were the only ones alive on the entire ship! What if…
At this point, Janeway suddenly rose, and declared that she had to do something constructive. Maybe she could get out through a Jefferies tube? If she first climbed through a ventilation shaft, it was narrow, but there was a chance…
“You can’t do that! If the power comes back online you’ll be fried!” Would she? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t willing to let her take that risk, and he himself was too big to get out through ventilation. ”You can’t… The ship needs you! I need you…”Damn, did I just say that?
“…and then get through the turbolift shaft to the mess-hall and if I get the others out of there, we can…” No, wait, rewind… What did he just say? Did he say that…? No, of course not, you just weren’t listening! You always hear what you want to hear…
“Even though I think it’s rather cute the way you’re always looking after me, I am capable of taking care of myself you know.”
Chakotay felt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart. How could she be so cold and…and patronizing after what he had just told her? Here he poured his heart and soul out, and she didn’t even seem to care! He tried desperately to hide how hurt he was, and mumbled an inaudible answer.
Janeway glared at him. Why was he acting so weird all of a sudden? Had she done anything to upset him? Not that she could think of. No, not unless… But that was absurd, wasn’t it? Had he really said what she had imagined he said? She studied him out of the corner of her eye. He did indeed seem rather crossed… So maybe, just maybe…
“So, uhm, did you say that you… I mean, that…”
“Well, I was….”
“So…?”
“Yes.” He looked away in embarrassment.
Janeway walked up to him and placed a kiss on his forehead. “You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me you know. But why haven’t you ever…”
“Told you?” Chakotay interrupted. “I was afraid you wouldn’t take me seriously. You know how I hate it when people are laughing at me, and having you do it because of my stupidity…No, I just couldn’t take the humiliation.”
“Should I be offended now?” Janeway asked mockingly. “So you think it’s stupid to have feelings for me?”
“No! I just meant that…”
“But really, if the others thought there was something going on between us, I am the one who should be embarrassed. After all, you are only my second in command.”
The second she said it, she knew that now she had gone too far. Chakotay was clearly hurt, though he did his best to hide it. She had a strong urge to hug him and comfort him, but she couldn’t. It didn’t seem…appropriate. God, this whole thing was so confusing! Why did he say it, why? If only he hadn’t told her, if only…
I know what I should do. I should tell him I’m not angry. I should kiss his face and tell him I’m not angry at all. I should kiss his eyes and tell him I feel the same way, kiss his mouth and tell him I love him.
Love him…
Always loved him, always will.
How can something that feels so right be so hard to acknowledge? He loves me, I love him, we love each other, so why not shout it from the rooftops?
Yes, why?
Because you’re the captain, that’s why!
But I love him, and he loves me!
The rest of the crew will not be pleased.
Screw them!
Janeway had made up her mind; it was now or never.
She lightly brushed her fingers over his facial-tattoo. She had always wanted to touch it, but never quite dared. It was intriguing, almost…erotic. She smiled softly at the stunned expression in his face. His eyes were filled with – was it horror? No, of course not. He wanted this as much as she did, that she was sure of. They had been playing their flirtatious games for too long.
Still stroking the colored skin around his temple, she gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. Oh, delicious lips. Soft, not at all as hard as they looked. Tasted good, too.
She drew away and studied his face. The look of horror had been replaced with what could only be amazement. Yes, I love you.
She leaned in for another kiss…
…and stopped.
“Tuvok! I was just…I didn’t…When did you…I mean, is the problem solved?” When the hell did he get here and why didn’t we notice the power coming back? Oh, yes, I know how we managed to miss that; we had better things to do. She started smiling, but thought better of it.
“Problem?” Tuvok asked.
“Yes, problem. Haven’t you noticed the fact that it’s been pitch-black for hours?”
“Perhaps you’d better speak to Seven of Nine about that.”
“Seven? What does she have to do with this?”
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“I meant to tell you about the molecular disturbance in subspace, which occurred earlier today, but it must have slipped my mind. And then when you and Commander Chakotay didn’t show up at the party, everyone just assumed you had…better things to do.”
Janeway blushed.
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Chakotay was sitting alone in the mess-hall, enjoying whatever it was Neelix called lunch today, when Tom Paris sat down across the table. Oh, great, so much for a quiet lunch.
Tom was looking at him with that annoyingly interested look on his face. Damn!
“So, tell me,” Tom started, leaning closer with an inviting smile, “what were you and the Captain really doing, all alone in the dark?”
Chakotay blushed.
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