Written by Scylla, August 19 2001
Feedback? Yes, please. sscylla@hotmail.com
Janeway/Chakotay
Rating: R
Remember the episode Persistence of Vision in which we saw everyone’s illusions but Chakotay’s? Well, this is what was going on inside that pretty head of his…
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Janeway entered the turbolift. She looked worried, her lips pressed together tightly, her eyes anguished. She didn’t even notice me. I touched her gently on the shoulder.
“Captain, it wasn’t your fault.”
She jumped, obviously startled at finding me so close, but then she smiled her sweet smile.
“Oh, Chakotay, I’m so worried. When I left, everyone on the bridge were staring blankly in front of themselves. Even Tuvok was completely gone. I tried to contact the rest of the crew, but there is no answer. But…how come you’re not affected? No, wait, don’t tell me, it’s that strong Indian-mind of yours?”
I could see a playful sparkle in her eyes, and decided to play along.
“Why, it must be, now that I come to think of it.” I smiled. “I’m just glad you are fine as well.”
“I…wasn’t for awhile. I saw…no, it doesn’t matter, the important thing is that it went away as soon as I realized it was only an illusion.”
“So, what should we do now? I was on my way to Engineering…”
She interrupted me. “No, I have a better idea.”
I stayed quiet, waiting for her to tell me her plan. I should have known she would have a plan, she always did. But, to my surprise, no explanation followed. Instead, she placed her hands on my chest, her eyes glowing in the same lyric way they did when she found something new to explore. Explore…Explore me…
“Chakotay, you’re tense.” she purred.
Hearing her saying my name like that, her voice seductive, I could hardly breathe. I was tense, yes, and now the tension was moving downwards, settling in my groin. No! I wanted to cry out, but I didn’t, I couldn’t. I blushed as she was stroking my chest, kissing my neck, but I didn’t move. It felt good, oh yes, it felt as good as I ever imagined it.
I was completely under her spell, let her lead me to my quarters, let her throw me down on the bed. I looked up at her. Her sweet smile was back, but her eyes revealed desire. Desire for me.
Still smiling, she sat down, straddling my hips. A wave of desire, a warm longing for her, dwelled inside me. I want you Kathryn, I want you so.
As if hearing me, she bent down and kissed my mouth. Oh, her sweet lips, looking thin yet feeling so full. And, her mouth still locked on mine, her tongue touching mine, drinking my soul, she began taking my uniform off.
My chest revealed, I felt chilly, but she covered me with the warmth of her body. I could feel her breasts through the rough fabric. Exquisite. She let go of my mouth, kissing my neck, my chest, my nipples. I still just lay there, doing nothing, saying nothing, just enjoying. Kathryn, I love you!
Getting tired of my chest, she began releasing me of my pants. I wanted to stop her, yet I longed for sexual contact. I needed it, yet I was not ready. I was torn between emotions, my body saying yes, my mind saying no. I had wanted this for so long, but somehow it didn’t feel right.
This isn’t Kathryn!
I was shocked at first, how could I think such a thing? But this woman, this thing, still struggling to get my pants off, was not my beloved Kathryn! I sat up and caught her wrists.
“Who the hell are you?” I demanded, but this being just laughed at me.
“But Chakotay, don’t you recognize me? I am Kathryn, the woman of your dreams!”
“I ask you once again! Who…are…you?”
“Can’t your spirits tell you that?” Her voice was malicious, her smile grim.
I just stared at her. Looking so much like my Kathryn, yet not her. The thought that I had almost made love to this being disgusted me. I threw her off me, pleased hearing the thump when she hit the floor. She was still smiling that horrible smile, I wanted to hit her, to make the smile go away, I wanted her to go away, I wanted my Kathryn back!
“But she isn’t yours, is she?” The Kathryn on the floor said, laughing a cold laugh. “I am as close to the real thing as you’ll ever get!”
Then she disappeared. Vanished. I looked around, and found myself standing alone in the turbolift.
I love you Kathryn, I’ll wait for you. Someday we’ll be together. Someday…
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