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Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation. stan says: hey mark did you beep me? Mark says: nope stan says: Well someone did Mark says: and...? Mark says: Mark says: you can eliminate one person off the list of thousands stan says: thousands is that all stan says: man i thought there were more people on line than that Mark says: how many friends can a person like you have? Mark says: stan says: hahahahahahaha stan says: if i knew how to draw like that with a type writer i would Mark says: draw like? stan says: yeah all my type writer does is ~ stan says: hey it did it Mark says: Mark says: you did something stan says: :~ stan says: nope Mark says: use the nose stan says: Mark says: stan says: whats the nose Mark says: nope you don't need the nose stan says: * stan says: & Mark says: nope - stan says: ^' stan says: $ stan says: # Mark says: minus stan says: @ stan says: _ Mark says: stan says: :_ Mark says: that : @ stan says: :_ Mark says: no minus Mark says: not underline stan says: :- stan says: nope doesn't work Mark says: : - P Mark says:= stan says: :- Mark says: then the p stan says: :_P stan says: well anywho stan says: how are you really doin Mark says: MINUS Mark says: I'm ok stan says: - Mark says: yer too funny stan says: yeah i tried that stan says: + Mark says: no you didn't stan says: - Mark says: you used the underline stan says: _ Mark says: stan says: thats the underline Mark says: yup Mark says: I knew that stan says: this is the - minus Mark says: very good Mark says: what's the plus? stan says: well i'm glad someone does stan says: = stan says: + stan says: Actually the plus is knowing Jesus as my personal saviour Mark says: really? stan says: do you want to be a baptist Mark says: you mean the word "trinity" isn't in the Bible anywhere? Mark says: I know where you can be ordained on the internet in 3 minutes stan says: Its a shame we aren't in a chat room with about 100 other people stan says: really Mark says: and you don't even have to believe what they do Mark says: and they bestow upon you the ability to forgive sins like the Catholic priests do stan says: wow stan says: the power of God Mark says: all they ask is that you don't judge people harshly stan says: can they walk on water stan says: well i know where their going Mark says: and you can believe anything you want stan says: i believe there are alot of twisted people stan says: or is that twisted sister stan says: or twister is a game Mark says: I'm gonna tell her you said that stan says: or twister is a tornado stan says: ok stan says: whos she Mark says: Xaren, Stan said you're tywisted stan says: oh thanks get her mad at me Mark says: hahaha Mark says: oh like she isn't already for SOMETHING... hahaha stan says: i didn't say tywisted i said twisted Mark says: oh that's different then stan says: thank you make sure you tell her Mark says: I don't think she'lll mind that as much stan says: good i don't want her mad at me for something i didn't really do Mark says: right stan says: hey i found out who beeped Mark says: was it me? stan says: when someone comes on line they beep stan says: no Mark says: thanks for telling me Mark says: hahaha stan says: no its that guy that enlisted me in his squad Mark says: ok stan says: he went off line then back on and it beeped Mark says: so then you're saying I DIDN't beep you after all? stan says: well thats what it looks like at the moment but that could change any moment now Mark says: how exactly? Mark says: no nevermind don't explain, it'll ruin the joke Mark says: stan says: well i could get into here but im afraid that - stan says: no stan says: - stan says: no stan says: Mark says: no-no? stan says: no ~ Mark says: stan says: nevermind if i explain it it'll ruin the joke stan says: Mark says: hey accept this pic from me Waiting for stan to accept the file "closer.jpeg" (81 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer. stan says: oh yeah my pastor warnedme this would happen Transfer of file "closer.jpeg" has been accepted by stan. Starting transfer... Mark says: obviously you didn't listen Transfer of "closer.jpeg" is complete. stan says: should i scan it for a virus stan says: i have a cold maybe it will transfer Mark says: if you think I would send you one.... stan says: ok i'll be right back i have to turn on my norton anti virus Mark says: ok stan says: how do i download it to see it Mark says: you just did stan says: no i don't see it anywhere Mark says: under My Documents/imstan2/receive Mark says: in the receive folder it should be stan says: ok let me check brb Mark says: ok I'll brh stan says: i don't get it stan says: why would any baby want to get close to that Mark says: hmmm Mark says: now it's not funny anymore Mark says: check the baby's expression and fists stan says: i hate to tell you but it wasn't funny to begin with stan says: oh now i get it why did you explain it now you ruined it Mark says: because you wouldn't have gotten it in a million years Mark says: stan says: oh i would have gotten it in 999,999 years i'm not that stuped stan says: stupid Mark says: hahahaha Mark says: maybe you are stuped though stan says: and i didn't explain it your getting better Mark says: I mean THAT stuped stan says: no i stand pretty straight stan says: i sit stuped Mark says: that's stooped, man now I made THAT one not funny stan says: boy your ruining everything Waiting for stan to accept the file "joint-rol-problemen.jpeg" (34 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer. Transfer of file "joint-rol-problemen.jpeg" has been accepted by stan. Starting transfer... Mark says: ok, I won't explain this one, read the caption carefully Transfer of "joint-rol-problemen.jpeg" is complete. stan says: my pastor warned me about this kind of thing Mark says: I heard that stan says: whats the amoeba's doing in the cartoon Mark says: if I told you, it wouldn't be funny stan says: and the hairy earthworms stan says: ok stan says: so how long are you staying up tonight Waiting for stan to accept the file "jerry.jpg" (41 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer. Transfer of file "jerry.jpg" has been accepted by stan. Starting transfer... Mark says: I don't know, Mark says: now this one's just silly stan says: my pastor warned me about this kind of thing happening Transfer of "jerry.jpg" is complete. Mark says: that's a lot of warnings Mark says: and you missed every one stan says: well at least bert has his clothes on stan says: really i must be really stuped Mark says: umn yeah stan says: it won't be long now Mark says: ok three more, then I'll be done Waiting for stan to accept the file "Noah.jpeg" (45 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer. Transfer of file "Noah.jpeg" has been accepted by stan. Starting transfer... Transfer of "Noah.jpeg" is complete. stan says: yeah hey you got one of those 3 minute ordidnations didn't you Mark says: why, you have sins to confess? stan says: now that was funny Mark says: Bert's naked in this next one.... Waiting for stan to accept the file "pam.jpg" (37 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer. stan says: no you just said that you were going to be done after 3 more thats what preachers always say when they are closing stan says: now you made me explain it Mark says: hmmm Transfer of file "pam.jpg" has been accepted by stan. Starting transfer... Mark says: consarn it! Transfer of "pam.jpg" is complete. stan says: she doesn't look very happy Mark says: ok this is the nastiest one... stan says: oh no my pastor warned me about this Mark says: hopefully your pastor warned you Mark says: ok Waiting for stan to accept the file "batgirl.jpeg" (8 Kb, less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem). Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the file transfer. Transfer of file "batgirl.jpeg" has been accepted by stan. Starting transfer... Transfer of "batgirl.jpeg" is complete. stan says: where do you get this stuff Mark says: on the internet stan says: oh no i'm going to forward that one to someone who warnedme about things Mark says: hey! Mark says: you did a stan says: yeah well su me stan says: no sue me Mark says: how do I do that? stan says: I don't know Mark says: wait a minute, I'll check the internet Mark says: ok, I got 4 categories Mark says: Actors > Alec Su stan says: i'm not smart i just put my axe on my back and walk up into the mountains i don'thave no education im a little dumb if you really want to know Mark says: Fighter Planes > Su-27 stan says: what about it Mark says: Computer Games > SU-27 Flanker Series stan says: whats the fourth Mark says: and... Mark says: SU-27 Flanker Series > SU-27 Flanker stan says: 'what about a boy named sue Mark says: nope wrong spelling stan says: what is the corrct spelling' Mark says: it's also the abbrev. for Shenandoah University stan says: tori spelling Mark says: SU stan says: oh Mark says: I would say that is VERY correct Mark says: ehem... correctED Mark says: tori spelling, of course stan says: thanks Mark says: there are 51,300,000 web page matches for SU stan says: hold on aminute or two xarol is talking to me and i'm missing telling you jokes Mark says: holding on Mark says: nevermind to what stan says: keep holding Mark says: it's starting to hurt stan says: I'd tell you to relieve yourself but i don't know how yhu'd react to that Mark says: I don't get it Mark says: I was holding onto my comb Mark says: stan says: hahahahahaha keep holding she's still talking Mark says: I kill me stan says: bang stan says: keep holding she's still here and i can't keep typing without looking Mark says: hahaha Mark says: Xaren does that, she types away,a dn looks around the room Mark says: tell Xarol I said Hi already stan says: that is spelled and not a dn stan says: keep holding she's stillhere Mark says: how do you know that's what I meant Mark says: ? stan says: ok she left now what were we talking about Mark says: scroll up Mark says: 51,000,000 web pages for SU Mark says: no stan says: hold on now i got to go out in the rain and get the groceries out of the car.... Mark says: 51,300,000 Mark says: have fun stan says: brb Mark says: brh Mark says: not holding Mark says: stan says: ok Mark says: what's ok? stan says: she went to bed Mark says: that's ok stan says: actually ok means alright...i'm a little slow tonight stan says: do you wnat me to explain Mark says: that's alright Mark says: NO stan says: ok Mark says: Can't Explain Mark says: remember that song? stan says: or alright 'whatever' stan says: what song Mark says: Mark says: Can't Explain stan says: can't explain what? Mark says: the who stan says: who? Mark says: the who can't explain stan says: why not are they stuped Mark says: what? I don't know THIRD BASE! stan says: no i don't know was pitching Mark says: nope stan says: who was on first stan says: really' Mark says: today was pitching Mark says: tomorrow was catching stan says: yesterday was catching stan says: where was yesterday stan says: i'm not that old Mark says: it's usually the day before today, but I could be wrong on that stan says: the day before today was monday stan says: thats a song... stan says: monday, monday...i did it again Mark says: I was trying to think of the song that goes "the day before today was monday..." stan says: i think you probably wrote that cause i never heard of it.... i just put my axe onmy back... Mark says: no you wrote it a few seconds ago then said it was a song Mark says: Mark says: DON'T EXPLAIN stan says: but a few seconds ago i was out getting the groceries and i was thinking of icing a cake in the rain Mark says: someone left their cake out in the rain... stan says: hahahahahahhahahahahahha stan says: yes thats the one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Mark says: hehehe stan says: i can't type and laugh at the same time stan says: we ought to start our own tv series stan says: you can be kramer stan says: i'll be... Mark says: I'll be back stan says: k Mark says: you can be kramer Mark says: or george Mark says: stan says: they say at work that i look like george thats why i grew the beard Mark says: hahahha Mark says: well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! stan says: hey thats a tv show Mark says: then I won't be stan says: you wont be....what? Mark says: a monkey's uncle stan says: So now your telling me that xeah and xachael are monkeys...wait till i tell them that...how can i save this as a screen shot? Mark says: I forget stan says: oh how convenient Mark says: I thought so Mark says: amazing how it works like that stan says: oh by the way Mark says: which way? stan says: hold on i have to check something Mark says: again? stan would like to send you the file "monkeys uncle.txt" (16 Kb). Transfer time is less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem. Do you want to Accept (Alt+T) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation? Mark says: do I have to? Transfer of file "monkeys uncle.txt" from stan has been accepted. Starting transfer... stan says: yep unless you listen to my pastor You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Mark\My Documents\My Received Files\monkeys uncle.txt from stan. Before opening this file, you may want to scan it with a virus-scanning program. Mark says: man you're computer's slow stan says: really maybe its me or maybe its the 56k modem that only works at 7k Mark says: nah, it's you Mark says: you just highlighted and cut/pasted? stan says: no i downloaded and found the file and transferred stan says: what came over i don't know Mark says: downloaded what? stan says: i hit file on this window hit save as and put it in my documents Mark says: ah ok, I didn't know you could do that Mark says: cool stan says: then i hit send file and hit monkeys uncle Mark says: hahaha stan says: oh you mean i did something on a computer that youdidn't know about coooooooool Mark says: yeah,you're so hip to the scene, man... stan says: it just made sense i didn't know about the cut and paste thingamajig stan says: Mark says: makes more sense than the cut...blah blah blah Mark says: it won't be long now... stan says: yeah and quicker too even with my slow connection Mark says: stan says: hahahahahaha stan says: last night they were talking about how lousy df3 is Mark says: yeah, I'd never remember this entire conversation to send to my pastor, now I can very easily send it to him stan says: oh great Mark says: stan says: i'll just tell him that it wasn't me and i know what he'll believe Mark says: yeah, a lot of ppl don't like it, but I have a couple of friends who do, but they still play df2 also stan says: whats so bad about it Mark says: yeah, he'll believe every word that proceedeth out of your mouth stan says: now your misquoting Hezekiah 3:16 Mark says: I'm not misquoting any funny names at all stan says: i thought you were going to go a different route with that one Mark says: stan shall not live by df2 alone... stan says: but he tries... Mark says: stan says: i don't know what that one means but it looks cool Mark says: stan says: exactly Mark says: I know! stan says: are you going to tell me tonight or wait forever like usual Mark says: tell you what? what I know? stan says: no we don't have enough time for that stan says: i understand now i thought you knew what the icon stood for but in fact you were just agreeing with me about exactly....now i did it again stan says: confused yet...............i am Mark says: I didn't realize you were asking stan says: if i have to explain everything stan says: we'll be here all night and it won't be funny Mark says: "i don't know" I thought it was a statemnet, and I heartily agreed, you don't! Mark says: stan says:yes i know already! stan says: Mark says: hey if I have toi explain everything... Mark says: we'll be here all night and it won't be funny stan says: EXACTLY!!! Mark says: stan says: yeah i heard that one already stan says: Mark says: really? Mark says: I just made it up stan says: what? stan says: what? Mark says: from scratch stan says: what? ... stan says: oh you might need a shrink to figure that one out ....i only put my axe... stan says: wow i'm glad im your friend i fit in' Mark says: shrinks never get the whole picture stan says: they don't get any picture Mark says: because they're shrinks stan says: and they shrink the picture Mark says: so it never fits anyway Mark says: unless they're pre-washed stan says: unless the wall is real small Mark says: hmm stan says: and shrunk right Mark says: I like mine better stan says: you would Mark says: stan says: Mark says: ok, what's your bright idea? stan says: ok don't want to hold up your life stan says: i just thought it was a neat icon stan says: and i didn't have anything to say at the moment Mark says: don't worry, I don't think you could stan says: Mark says: hold it up Mark says: nm stan says: hold what up Mark says: my comb stan says: i don't have any hair and i don't think that's funny stan says: stan says: Mark says: I do and I do Mark says: ummm stan says: stan says: ok that's enough for me i'm getting tired of typing and i want to go get my fix of df2 Mark says: ok, go get fixed stan says: so i'll let you get on with your soaps Mark says: not soaps... stan says: real life? Mark says: oh that Mark says: hahahahahahahaha Mark says: I'm very sorry Mark says: I don't mean to laugh at you, no wait... nm ... Mark says: that on'll take explaining, unless I'll get it in Walmart tomorrow... stan says: you'll probably get it at any major chain.... stan says: or minor for that matter Mark says: yeah, but I'll bet they won't let me shop there again stan says: now there is a mental picture Mark says: hahaha security, frozen foods... stan would like to send you the file "pam.jpg" (37 Kb). Transfer time is less than 1 minute with a 28.8 modem. Do you want to Accept (Alt+T) or Decline (Alt+D) the invitation? Transfer of file "pam.jpg" from stan has been accepted. Starting transfer... Mark says: is it the same one? stan says: yes You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Mark\My Documents\My Received Files\pam.jpg from stan. Before opening this file, you may want to scan it with a virus-scanning program. Mark says: hahahaaha stan says: you know a mental picture... Mark says: why'd you send it back? Mark says: hahahaha ok then stan says: cya Mark says: later stan says: alligator Mark says: yeah whatever Mark says: stan says: you were supposed to say afterwhile Mark says: I'm definitely saving this conversation, nobody would believe me... stan says: ok then lets do it again Mark says: ok Dundee stan says: cya Mark says: bye stan says: np stan says: no Mark says: hahaha stan says: the story goes ...i can't believe i'm explaining again Mark says: my sides are hurting Mark says: and I'm crying stan says: cya later aligator afterwhile crocodile Mark says: oh man Mark says: thanks for RUINING IT! stan says: your welcome hahahahahahhahahahah Mark says: it was funny until then stan says: now my sides hurt and i just leaned over and oh does that stink Mark says: WHOA Mark says: wicked mental picture Mark says: I gotta go stan says: same here my eyes are wet form laugheing stan says: from laughing Mark says: or whatever stinks stan says: hahahahahahahahh stan says: ok good night Mark says: bye bye stan says: i'm saving this entire file Mark says: miss american pie stan says: left the ford in the garage stan says: cause it was falling apart Mark says: hey, wrong song stan says: you know whats' scary Mark says: yeah I do stan says: I can actually hear you singing Mark says: hahahaha stan says: ooops explained it again' Mark says: no you can't Mark says: you never listen stan says: you've been talking to my pastor about me again haven't you Mark says: no, but I will Mark says: and now I got evidence Mark says: of something peculiar stan says: hey thats a scripture stan says: except the word peculiar in the bible verse means bought,purchased Mark says: hey are you gonna be in town tomorrow? stan says: no i gotta go sharpen blades and i don't know if i'll be back in time Mark says: I have the A/C here Mark says: gotta get it there, maybe Xwight will run it up there stan says: well just hold on to it, actually xarol will be maybe if its there she can pick it up' stan says: i won't be in church on sunday turkey hunting til next tuesday stan says: but thats another story... Mark says: no it's too heavy for her to pick up stan says: and besides we have a van not a truck Mark says: ummm...ok stan says: do i have to explain that one too Mark says: DON'T EXPLAIN Mark says: stan says: hahahahhah stan says: gotta go now my sides hurt Mark says: good stan says: have fun and i'll see ya sometime Mark says: ok, I'll be here, or maybe there stan says: so how do you stop a conversation on here stan says: who gets the last word in ... |