get shitfaced and meet someone special in

T  h  e     D  I  D  O    R  o  o  m

....no  bra.....no  panties.....a hundred dollar hairdo....
and  he STILL  doesnt know I exist.............*

.....her name was Lola......she was a show girl.......
One night while getting legless and drunk , and pissed, all at the same time , in different glasses,....I met this gorgeous woman from Fenhunhay. She didnt talk all that much....(well such is my drunken recollection)..and she looked almost exactly like Lana Turner. ( even tho Im not sure exactly what Lana Turner looks like) and the fact that at some point , she also looked exactly like a goldfish in a toupee'...is irrelevant .HOWEVER......we whined and dined... and danced the night away,.. in typical  Dido fashion,... which is to lay on your back on the floor, with a drip feed booze'o'rama in your mouth, wiggling your hands and feet about , out of sync with the music.
I asked her back to my place...which was a tad ambitious, since I lived 27 galaxies away...but we settled for nekkid bonking in public under the trolley in the hallway outside the Dome entrance. and by  sheer luck, went largely unnoticed by the bouncers with the cattleprods and carrots. (is best not to ask about the carrots)
  The following morning, I awoke, to find  my penis had swollen to the size of a football. The vague, and unenthusiastic ships doctor....informed me after a very brief examination... that I was pregnant.
As it turns out...."Lola" wasn't from Fenhunhay , at all.   She was from the planet "Lets-impregnate-the-whole-friggin- Universe" dot com.
That was 7 years ago......... My *son*, now works in the Engineers Mess Hall ,where after much pleading with the management. I was able to secure him a position,  as a " Bucket"

YOUR TAXI IS WAITING