[Lem about the Memoirs...] [Bibliography] [A fragment of the Memoirs... A fragment of the Memoirs...]

 

  Memoirs Found in a Bathtub unavoidably evokes Kafka and yet it would be an injustice to call it derivative.  Lem is capable of an amazing knack for characterization.  He is wildly comic, he is sardonic, perplexing, insightful.  His narrator inhabits a sort of backup Pentagon called the Building, buried in a mountain, cut off from the outside world, or perhaps from reality.  The whole novel deals with his striving to discover what his mission is and the name of his superior.  The total preoccupation of the Building and everyone in it is a subversion and espionage, of which Lem makes Jovian mockery.

 

Theodore Sturgeon, The New York Times Review of Books

Gallery of Covers

Shueisha, Tokyo 1980


 


  This book contains a conception that goes beyond current short-term political satire. Here we are confronted with a totalization of the concept of intentional actions. This has been shown with a quite clear, perhaps ever ghastly consistency, resulting in surprising effects. I think this vision is both original and true. A human being is indeed capable of treating everything around him as a message. Choosing this as the principium of a novel is not a bad idea at all - even from the philosophical point of view. Totemism, animism and similar phenomena existing among primitive cultures are based on the premise that the world as such can be treated as an announcement addressed to its inhabitants. The fact that it can be used by makers of a certain social order and later go beyond the intentions of political dictators seems rather symptomatic. From this moment on everything becomes a message. The history can be viewed as a sequence of conspiracies and everything - including rain - becomes a symptom that allows foreseeing what will happen in the political sphere. All of this becomes a habit of an unfortunate species forced to live in such a closed system. To me this seems important in this book; its insanity - since this is a paranoid vision - is created with the necessary intensity and consequence and this valuable factor of the novel will always be preserved. It does not deal with - and this is what I am really proud of - a given transient social and political configuration. Instead it can be ascribed to many cultures, times and is capable of describing many different phenomena in diverse social systems. Moreover, this book is a successful combination of grim ghastliness with humor. Today this grim humor still seems to me a genius temporis and signum temporis! And there are no signs indicating that this is about to change...

 

 


Memoirs Found in a Bathtub

 

A powerful, bald old man, Kashenblade stirred his coffee. His head was perched upon the collar of his uniform; the bristling, many-folded jowls covered the galactic insignia and stripes lie a bib. The desk was cluttered with phones and surrounded by computer consoles, speakers, buttons, and in the center was a row of labeled glass jars - specimens, apparently, though I couldn't see a thing in them apart from the alcohol. Kashenblade, the veins bulging on his shiny pate, was busy pushing buttons to silence the phones as soon as they began to ring. When several rang together, he rammed his fist into the whole bank of buttons. Then he noticed me. In the silence that followed there was only the grim tapping of his teaspoon.

"So there you are!" he snapped. It was a powerful voice.

"Yes," I answered.

"Wait, don't tell me, I have a good memory," he growled, watching me from under those bushy eyebrows. "X-27 contrastellar to Cygnus Eps, right?"

"No," I said.

"No? No! Well then. Morbilantrix B-KuK 81 dash Operation Nail? B as in Bipropodal?

"No," I said, trying to maneuver my pass before his eyes. He waved it aside impatiently.

"No?" He looked hurt. Then he looked pensive. He stirred his coffee. The phone rang - his hand came down on the button like an lion's paw.

"Plastic?" he shot at me.

"Plastic?" I said. "Well, hardly... I'm just an ordinary-"

Kashenblade stilled the rising din of phones with one quick slap and looked me over once more.

"Operation Cyclogastrosaur... Ento-mo... pentacla," he kept trying, unwilling to admit to any gap in his infallibility. When I failed to respond, he suddenly leaned forward and roared:

"Out!!"

And it really looked as if he himself were ready to throw me out bodily. But I was too determined - also too much a civilian - to obey that order. I held my ground and kept the pass under his nose. At last Kashenblade reluctantly took it and - without even examining it - tossed it into a drawer of some machine, which immediately began to hum and whisper. Kashenblade listened to the machine; his face clouded over and his eyes glittered. He gave me a furtive glance and started pressing buttons. Then phones rang out together like a brass band. He silenced them and pressed other buttons: now the speakers drowned one another out with numbers and cryptonyms. He stood there and listened with a scowl, his eyelid twitching. But I could see the storm had passed.

"All right, hand over your scrap of paper!" he barked.

"I already did..."

"To whom?"

"To you."

"To me?"

"Yes, sir."

"When? Where?"

"Just a moment ago, and you threw -" I began, then bit my tongue...

 

 

Translated by Michael Kandel and Christine Rose, Andre Deutsch


 
 
 

Bibliography
 Polish Editions:
  • Wydawnictwo Literackie, Kraków 1961, 1971, 1983 
  • Interart, Warszawa 1997

 English Editions:

  • Seabury Press, 1973
  • Avon Books, New York 1976
  • Seabury Press, 1976
  • Harcourt Brace, 1986
  • Andre Deutsch, London 1992