humor

"Half of the Canadian people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted .
One hopes it is the same half."

A Kentucky Fried Chicken location inHalifax has a special on what they call a "Bucket of Alexa":
You get
Two small breasts, two large thighs and a bunch of left wings

You might be a Liberal/Socialist (and probably are) if:
1) You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding instead of by engaging in unhealthy              behaviors.
2) You oppose capital punishment of convicted murderers but adamantly advocate abortion on demand     with no restrictions whatsoever.
3) You believe that the same overpaid public school idiot who can't teach fourth-graders how to read is     qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
4) You believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid.
5) You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Citizens are more of a threat than nuclear                weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.
6) You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the                brilliance of the sun and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
7) You believe that gender roles are artificial but being gay is natural.
8) You believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9) You believe that hunters don't care about nature but pasty-faced activists who've never been                outside Toronto do.
10) You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11) You believe there was no art before federal funding.
12) You believe the military, not corrupt politicians, starts wars.
13) You believe the free market that gives us 500+ channels can't deliver the programming quality           PBS does.
14) You believe the NRA is bad, because it stands up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the           ACLU is good, because it stands up for certain parts of the Constitution.
15) You believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.
16) You believe that the Woodsworths, Lewis' Pearsons have done more to enhance life in Canada              than the Bantings, Cartiers, McDonalds (Sir John not Ronald)
17) You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
18) You believe that secondhand smoke is more dangerous than HIV.
19) You believe that conservatives are racists but black people couldn't make it without your help.
20) You believe that the only reason democratic socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is            because the right people haven't been in charge.