Episode 5 - New Girl:
Synopsis:
David hires a new secretary Karen, and tries desperately to
impress her. 
Donna arrives late, and says that she's slept with someone from the
office. Finchy comes to the office, as he David, Tim and Gareth are going to
Chasers, a nightclub. Gareth teaches Donna about office health and safety,
telling her not to put coffee on a computer and how to lift things. At Chasers,
David humiliates himself - again, and Gareth gets more than he bargains for.
Quotes:
David: Me, lager. Finchy, Lager. Gareth, lager, sometimes cider. So different drinks for different...needs.
Gareth: When cherries are red, they're ready for plucking, when girls are 16, they're ready for f-
Gareth: It’s a fun place, but it’s full of loose women. My only problem with that is venereal disease, which is disabilitating right, especially for a soldier. And it’s irresponsible to the rest of your unit as well. Alright, you’ve been under attack for days, there’s a soldier down, he’s wounded, gangrene’s setting in, ‘who’s used all the penicillin?’ ‘Oh, Mark Paxton sir, he’s got knob rot off some tart.’
David: Gareth!
Brent's
Philosophy
This is the poem 'Slough', by Sir John Betjemen,
probably never been here in his life. ‘Come friendly
bombs and fall on Slough, it isn’t fit for humans
now.’ Right, I don’t think you solve town planning
problems by dropping bombs all over the place, so he’s
embarrassed himself there ... ‘Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough, to get it ready for the plough. The cabbages are coming now, the earth exhales-’ He’s the only cabbage round here. And they made him a knight of the realm. Overrated.
Most embarrassing moment
Desperate to impress Karen, David shows off, playing football. He head butts her and gives her a black eye. Telling his date she had onion breath was pretty bad too.