Another dark miserable one. Contains violence and scenes of non consenting sex between adults. And bad language. Sorry. Please don't read this if you're *grins* delicate or sensitive.
This story is set in the alternate universe shown in Adi's fantastic story "Heaven and hell and all in between" which can be found on her site Adi's Writings and Ramblings along with other great stuff and MUST BE READ!! I wanna thank her for her fiction which inspired me to write some of my stories, especially this one, and for allowing me to post this. This is basically an imagination of what one of Susan's days might have been like in the early days of "Heaven and Hell"
(Note: "Adrienne" is the name used to distinguish the AP from the real Talia - see "Heaven and Hell")
by Lindy
The sound of her wake up call pulled Susan unwillingly from her slumbers. Instantly she froze into her morning routine, lying absolutely still and waiting to see if Adrienne was awake. The slow even breathing coming from the lump on the far side of the bed told her she was not. Holding her breath, Susan tried to slide out of the bed without waking the woman. She should have known better. The blonde telepath rolled over in a sudden lithe movement to drape herelf across Susan, pinning her facedown to the mattress. Susan felt hands running up her body, pulling up her nightshirt, an arm slinking round her beneath her breasts, holding her close. Adrienne's foot ran briefly up Susan's leg, then became still. It was hard to breathe. Adrienne's body lay slumped over hers, her breath was hot in her ear, slow and steady. Susan lay for some time, motionless. She was, she judged, more than half asleep. Perhaps she could... Susan gave an experimental squirm and tried to twist out from beneath Adrienne. She was almost there... almost free of the touch which excited and appalled her all at once...
A cold voice spoke.
"Susan"
She was awake. Susan froze in place on the edge of the bed. She sensed movement beside her and a moment later felt the telepath on her again, this time seizing her wrist and pulling it up behind her back, leaning her full weight on it. Susan groaned in pain, writhing beneath the woman. Adrienne placed a knee in the small of her back, holding her down. Susan made a small sound that might have been a sob; Adrienne couldn't tell as her face was pushed deep into the soft mattress. Her voice was muffled as she tried to reason with the woman, who was still more than half asleep, acting instinctively, assured of her complete control.
"Please... I'll be late for work"
The response was a increase of pressure on her imprisoned arm, making her cry out. She was waking up.
"Shut up"
Adrienne's mouth lowered to her ear, sucking and biting, the back of her neck, moving round to cover the visible parts of Susan's face and neck, growing more insistent. Susan found herself cringing away from the painful nips and pinches, uttering little whimpers. Settling on a point below the level of Susan's uniform collar, Adrienne began to suck hard, biting and hurting. Susan pressed her face deeper into the bed in an attempt to muffle her involuntary moans of pain and willed herself not to cry.
"Who is it you love, Susan?" asked the loved/hated voice above her. Susan was silent, afraid to say "My Talia", unable to give the woman the answer she wanted. Adrienne suddenly slammed through her mind, the invasion meant to hurt and punish. The dark haired woman convulsed, screaming silently into the bed.
"You..." she groaned, shaking and gasping for breath.
She felt the soft pressure of breath against her ear as the woman whispered softly,
"Tell me"
"You" Susan whispered, hating herself. "I... love you" She felt large tears sliding from her eyes to be instantly soaked up by the rumpled sheet.
The computer chirruped again, informing Susan that she was due at C&C in ten minutes. Adrienne stirred on top of her.
"Go on then" she said at last, detaching herself from Susan and rolling over to snuggle back under the covers. "And hurry up or you'll be late"
Susan struggled up from the bed, holding her wounded arm and wrist and feeling unaccountably hurt at the abrupt dismissal. She hurridly dressed, wincing as the tight uniform jacket contacted and covered the bite mark on her neck. This was how her days began, with new pains added to the constant dull ache of misery and despair.
She was about to leave the apartment when Adrienne spoke behind her.
"Susan"
She stopped instantly.
"I want you home early tonight"
Looking back, Susan could see the blonde hair and pale face of her lover shining in the dark sleeping area.
"I've got a little surprise for you"
Susan closed her eyes briefly, trying not to think about what this might mean, trying not to let herself think at all. Trembling, she left the apartment.
*
Her day in C&C passed much as usual, she did her job in a dreamlike detached manner. Listening to her yelling at troublesome ship crews, one might have thought there was nothing wrong. A look into her eyes would have revealed the truth. They were dull, sad eyes, holding none of the vivacious sparkle which used to define her. These days Susan avoided meeting people's eyes as much as possible.
At lunch time she went as usual to the Mess Hall. Sitting unobtrusively in a corner, she sipped slowly at what they called coffee. She remembered ranting about the awfulness of the stuff, but that didn't seem important anymore. She simply enjoyed the simple pleasure of eating and drinking without having to ask Adriennes's permission. From the corner of her eyes she noticed Garibaldi making his way towards her with a loaded tray. Quickly she finished her coffee and stood up. Though part of her wanted, craved the company of her friends, she knew talking to them would simply mean questions she wasn't able to answer, and trouble for her later. They reminded her of the freedom and the life she had lost.
*
As Susan prepared to end her shift, she was stopped by Captain Sheridan. In his usual jovial manner, the Captain outlined some plan or other he had in mind for the upcoming visit of Earth Force dignitaries. Susan listened and nodded without comment, standing fatalistically as the time ticked away and she knew she would be late. When Sheridan finally let her go, she walked home slowly, wondering briefly what the Captain would say if he knew he had changed the course of her evening from inevitable pain and discomfort to probable humiliation and agony.
*
Adrienne heard her enter the apartment and walked in from the bedroom. Susan lapsed instantly into her usual role, standing still, head bowed, waiting for orders.
"You're late, Susan, darling" she said, slowly circling round her. "As I said, I've prepared something different for you tonight" She reached across and carefully removed Susan's uniform jacket, sliding it from her unresisting shoulders.
"Yes" she continued, now loosening her shirt collar. Susan trembled slightly, staring straight ahead, trying to keep her mind blank but only succeeding in making Adrienne suspicious. She laughed lightly.
"So you had lunch with Mr Garibaldi?" she ran her fingers lightly across Susan's lips.
"No. I... I left..." Susan said quietly. Adrienne probed casually into her mind.
"So you did. Good girl, Susan" she laughed again before leaning forward to kiss her gently.
"Anyway, as I was saying, there's someone here to see you" she carefully undid the top three buttons of Susan's shirt and pulled it roughly open. Susan flinched.
"But you kept her waiting, so I expect she's not very happy with you" she grinned. "But that's your problem, Susan" Adrienne moved behind her.
"She was very specific about what she wanted..."
In one fluid movement she cuffed Susan's hands behind her. Susan gasped at the sudden shock and the kiss of cold metal against her skin. She was not, however, surprised. She had learnt not to be surprised at anything Adrienne did.
"She wanted the capable Commander of Babylon 5..." she stroked her face, "like this"
"Hello, Commander" The voice came from the bedroom area. "Remember me?"
A tall smartly dressed woman stood in the doorway. She was dark but her skin shone pale in the darkened room. She looked somewhere in her mid thirties, with an attractive, if rather hard face. She walked forwards slowly, savoring the sight before her.
"We met some weeks ago. I came to talk to you about setting up a branch of my business on Babylon 5. You were extremely unpleasant, Commander. I believe the words ' complacent time wasting swamp dwellers' came into it somewhere"
She smiled cruelly, her eyes dark, nearly black, and sparkling. Susan closed her eyes briefly as she remembered. God, that had been an awful day. Two ambassadors to deal with in the morning, each demanding special treatment and constantly at each other's throats, then Sheridan ordered her to take on a second case load of paperwork, and finally she had realised she was late for her meeting with some damned civillian. Yeah, she had been incredibly rude. She had felt bad about it later, had tried to make it up to the woman, but could not find her, had assumed she had already left the station. Susan found herself looking back with fond memory at those days. Hard work, little pleasure, but so vastly different to her life the way it was now. She forced her attention back to what the dark haired woman was saying.
"...So I thought that I would like an apology from the stuck up arrogant Commander." She pronounced each word with low, bitter precision. Susan winced. "I thought that for a long time, but there was very little I could do about it... until, that is, your friend here managed to pick up on my thoughts yesterday"
She stopped in front of Susan who stared at her feet, showing little emotion.
"Look at me"
Trembling slightly, she obeyed. The woman entwined her fingers deep in Susan's long loose hair, dragging her head backwards. Susan's mouth opened involuntarily with the pain of it, and she did not see the woman move to kiss her hard, demanding and forcing entry with her tongue. Susan tried again to switch off, to not think about what was happening to her. Fucking Adrienne was bad enough, but this woman was a total stranger, whose only intention was to demean and humiliate her... Susan moaned as the woman dragged back on her hair, forcing her head impossibly far back. Pulling back for a moment, the woman stared down at Susan, anger and lust in those glittering eyes. She felt something sliding into her mind and she knew it was Adrienne, knew that she was standing behind her, watching, smiling. She felt her everywhere inside of her, domineering, cruel, casually ranging over her entire conciousness with the relaxed atitude of one who knows she will not be challenged. Susan no longer tried to keep her out, the mental resistance fading soom after the physical. The natural barriers remained, however, and every time Adrienne took her Susan had to will herself to relax, to let her in and to minimise the inevitable pain.
Now she felt Adrienne quickly pick up on her discomfort, humiliation, apprehension, and... betrayal? The blonde woman laughed out loud as she understood. Susan was hurt that Adrienne wanted another woman to fuck her, she wanted, needed her completely despite the cruelty and pain.
"Oh, my dear, sweet, romantic Susan!" she exclaimed, moving closer to stroke Susan's bowed head. The blonde looked past the cowed woman.
"Know what she's thinking right now?" she asked. She mimicked Susan for the benefit of her audience.
"I am NOT gonna be sick... I am NOT gonna cry... oh... please..."
Both women laughed. The telepath's nipples were hard, pressing the fabric of the thin lilac shirt she wore, and her eyes sparkled as she looked down at the fallen Commander. The business woman observed her carefully ...She really gets off on this... before turning her attention back. She pulled Susan's head up, forcing her to meet her eyes before sliding her hands inside her shirt and dragging her nails cruelly over the exposed skin. Susan shuddered, pulling involuntarily at the cuffs pinioning her wrists. In one swift movement, the woman ripped the shirt down the front, scattering buttons. Susan flinched in shock, breathing shallowly in short gasps as the shirt was pushed back, freeing her body but catching behind her. She shuddered in hopeless trepidation as the slender hands rested on her hips, ran slowly up her quivering stomach, inevitably reaching her breasts. ...Except they were no longer hers... she thought dumbly, as the dark woman flicked cruelly over the nipples, ...none of this body was hers, it was Adriennes... all Adriennes...
She flinched again, shutting her eyes but suppressing the pain which threatened to burst from her throat as the woman roughly pinched and kneaded her breasts, kissing her hard. She felt Adrienne still in her mind and reached out to her desperately "...please..." She felt tears sliding from her eyes, knowing it was pointless but unable to stop calling to the woman she had loved in the forlorn hope that she would return to her. Adrienne was the one constant, her protector and tormentor as the world around her crumbled. She heard laughter in her head, and the sound of the dark woman mocking her cries.
"So, Commander" she continued sweetly, "do I get my apology?"
"I'm... I'm sorry..." Ivanova muttered quietly, her face wet with tears.
"You're sorry..." The woman seemed to consider. "Oh, Commander, you will be..."
She was forced to her knees, hearing laughter, sensing rising excitement as she stumbled and fell. Coughing weakly, she was dimly aware of the woman before her pulling off clothing. The woman grabbed a fistful of Ivanova's thick wavy hair, pulling her upright on her knees then forcing her face into her.
"Fuck me, Commander" she demanded.
Susan felt Adrienne strongly in her head now, enjoying her humiliation. She complied, painfully used to obeying orders, not knowing what else to do. It seemed the objective was as much degradation for Susan as it was pleasure for the woman, she was twisting and dragging on her hair, making her groan deeply. Tears ran constantly down her face to be instantly lost. Eons seemed to pass for Susan. It occured to her at one point that she should be worried about breathing, but it did not seem important. She did briefly think of the strong proud woman she had been, and wonder how she had been reduced to this state. The woman gave a low cry, staggering back to the couch to sprawl across it, dragging Susan with her by the hair. She writhed now, crying out sharply, seeming reluctant even in this moment to lose control. Both hands were twisted deep in Susan's hair, keeping her close, grinding into her as her movement slowed and stopped. Then she pushed Susan away roughly, got up from the couch without saying a word and headed for the bathroom.
*
Susan still knelt before the couch, crying openly. She welcomed the presence in her mind as the only source of comfort she ever recieved, however limited. Adrienne moved slowly towards her, wondering that for the first time in many days, she did not feel the urge to hurt Susan. She bent to remove the cuffs, feeling the woman lean against her in the ancient need for comfort. For a brief moment, she allowed the contact, then pulled away sharply.
"Go and lie down" she ordered, and watched in satisfaction as Susan obeyed her instantly.
*
Adrienne let herself back into her quarters, having successfully wiped the woman's memory of the evening's events. With luck, all she would remember would be a heavy night's drinking, backed up by the excruciating headache she would no doubt have in the morning. The blonde woman smiled, pleased with her night's work. Sliding carefully into bed, she felt Susan shaking beside her. She switched on the lights to examine her face, hearing her whimper as she flicked quickly through her mind.
"No, don't worry, Susan" she whispered, stroking the frightened face. "No more tonight"
And she heard the sigh of relief and whisper of gratitude as she turned off the lights, pulling Susan to her and preparing for sleep.