Summary: Big rock meets Tom's head. His subsequent amnesia
makes him forget everything - even B'Elanna. How will she
cope? PG-13, I guess, for mature themes.
Note: I guess you'd have to consider this an alternate
universe story, branching off sometime after "Revulsion."
"Extreme Risk" never happened. The title is taken from my favorite song in my favorite musical. This is my first fanfic ever, so I welcome comments of any nature. Also, there's some light-hearted Chakotay-bashing, because I really don't like him. One more thing: my writing resembles a train of thought - the
characters' thoughts. So if the story seems tangential at
times, that's just part of the style.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Paramount, except for Ensigns
Davis and Collesel and Lt. Mira, who belong to themselves. "The Walrus and the Carpenter is Lewis Carroll's. Oh, and I guess Ragtime belongs to Livent, Inc.
Back to Before
B'Elanna sighed with satisfaction as she adjusted her
dress one last time. Tom was going to pick her up in five
minutes, and she wanted everything to be perfect. They had
been dating for almost a year now, and lately Tom had been
acting strangely when they were together. She wasn't sure,
but she suspected, and Kathryn agreed that he might be ready
to "pop the question". B'Elanna had thought about her
answer for a while. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to
give her life to this man, even though she knew she loved
him more than she loved anything else in the galaxy.
Despite her uncertainty, she wanted to look her best for
him, and that was why she chose this particular dress. It
was a deep blue, with a close-fitting, thin-strapped top and
a shimmery skirt that fell just above her knees. Blue had
always been her favorite color, and whenever she wore it her
self-esteem rose a few notches.
The door chimed. "Come in," she called, giving the
mirror a final glance. Tom walked into the room, grinning
broadly. As soon as he laid his eyes upon B'Elanna, the
grin was cut short. His jaw dropped, and his eyes widened
conspicuously. B'Elanna pretended not to notice, but she
smiled inwardly.
Tom quickly recovered from his momentary shock and
said, "Wow, Lanna, you look..."
"Like a Bolian?"
Tom laughed as the couple walked out of B'Elanna's
quarters toward the turbolift. "Actually, I was thinking
more along the lines of smashing."
"Hmm, that sounds familiar." B'Elanna had always
loved the playful, joking nature of their relationship. It
made her feel so much more relaxed than she'd felt in past
relationships. Of course, none of them (and there were
what, two?) had been nearly as serious as this one.
As they left the turbolift and approached Holodeck 2,
B'Elanna asked, "So which program are we using tonight?"
"Actually, it's a completely new one. Harry and I
have been working on it for about a month. Computer, open
program parisrag."
"That program cannot be found."
The look on Tom's face was classic, a mixture of
confusion, surprise, and annoyance. He tried again.
"Computer, open program p-a-r-i-s-r-a-g," spelling it out
so there could be no mistake.
"That program cannot be found," the computer voice
repeated.
There were times when Tom was sure that a Vulcan
created the computer's voice. This was one of those times.
"Why can't it be found?"
"Please specify."
"Oh, forget it."
"Undefined command. Please clarify."
Tom banged his head against the nearest bulkhead.
Fearing this incident would wreck their date, B'Elanna
quickly suggested, "It's probably a glitch in the system.
Why don't we just go somewhere else?"
Tom was disappointed, but he saw her logic (Vulcans
again!) and asked the computer to open the resort.
"That program cannot be found."
They tried program after program, but almost none of
them worked. They ended up with one entitled kjcnsetup.
The human and half-Klingon walked through the doors and
found themselves on a deserted beach. It was late
afternoon, and the sun was moving toward the horizon. The
only thing on the beach besides the couple was a woven
picnic basket and a blanket. Tom shrugged. "I guess
this'll have to do." They spread out the blanket and food
and began to eat. For awhile, neither spoke. The sound of
the wind, waves, and seagulls mesmerized them, and each was
lost in thought. The wind picked up as they were finishing
their meal, which they had discovered was real food.
B'Elanna shivered. She was beginning to regret wearing this
dress. "Cold?" Tom asked. She nodded as he drew closer
and put his arm around her.
As the sun sank into the sea, Tom took a deep breath
and pulled something out of his pocket. B'Elanna was
startled out of her daydreaming by his voice. "Lanna, I'm
sorry about the program. I don't know what happened."
"That's alright. I'm enjoying myself here."
"Really? Me too. And, uh, I'm glad you're here with
me. Actually, I'm very glad. There's something I've wanted
to say to you for a long time. B'Elanna, I love you more
than anyone I've ever known. I love everything about you,
and I can't stand being away from you. What I'm trying to
say is...will you marry me?" He held out a small black box
containing a silver ring adorned with a sapphire bordered by
tiny diamonds.
B'Elanna was speechless. She thought she'd been
prepared for this, but she'd been taken completely by
surprise. Suddenly, the answer she'd been searching for
came to her, and she whispered, "Yes."
Tom couldn't recall a time when he'd been happier. He
slipped the ring onto his fiancée's finger and gave her a
long, meaningful kiss. They sat there, holding each other,
while the sun disappeared. As they got up to leave,
B'Elanna asked, "What exactly was parisrag?"
"It was a replica of late 20th century Los Angeles. I
wanted to take you to see Ragtime, my favorite musical."
B'Elanna smiled. "We'll see it another time."
Tom matched her grin. "That's a promise."
When they parted at B'Elanna's door, they kissed once
again. Each of them fell asleep with thoughts and then
dreams of a blissful future together.
* * * * * * * *
The next morning, Tom met B'Elanna in the mess hall.
They agreed to announce their good news to the senior staff
at the 0700 meeting.
After discussing the away mission scheduled for later
that day to collect supplies from a nearby planet, Captain
Janeway settled back in her seat. "Well, that's all I can
think of. Does anyone have any comments?" she asked,
throwing a not-so-discreet glance in the direction of her
pilot and chief engineer.
B'Elanna stood up slowly. "As a matter of fact, I
have an announcement." The captain, Ensign Harry Kim,
Commander Chakotay, and Neelix gave each other significant
looks. B'Elanna continued, "Tom and I are engaged."
Congratulations came from all sides of the room.
Janeway gave B'Elanna a warm hug. The two had become very
close in the past year, and the captain couldn't be happier
for her friend. "You see, Chakotay," she remarked, "the
program did work."
"Yes, you were right," the apologetic first officer
replied.
Tom and B'Elanna looked at their friends in disbelief.
"You mean that problem with the holodeck was your fault?"
Tom asked.
Harry smiled guiltily. "Where do you think it got the
name k-j-c-n-set-up from?"
Tom turned to the Talaxian. "You were in on this too?
Never mind. Stupid question."
The conspirators and the engaged smiled. Tuvok and
Seven merely glanced at each other and shook their heads.
* * * * * * * *
Later that day...
B'Elanna virtually floated down the corridor toward the
transporter room. Nothing could ruin her good mood, not
even an encounter with Seven. She had told her engineering
staff about her engagement, and they were almost as excited
as she was. Even Vorik seemed happy for her. She was
actually looking forward to this away mission - and not only
because Tom was coming along.
Upon entering the transporter room, she was greeted by
Ensign Rosalind Davis, a human science officer whom she
barely knew.
"Congratulations! I heard about you and Lt. Paris."
"Thanks." B'Elanna returned the ensign's friendly
smile. *Yeesh, that news certainly traveled quickly.*
"I can't tell you how long my department and I have
been waiting for you two to take this step." The petite
brunette grinned sheepishly. "We've, uh, been making bets
on when it would happen."
B'Elanna's grin widened. "May I ask who won,
Ensign?"
"Lt. Mira. You know, the Vulcan archaeology expert?
Oh, just call me Rosi. Everyone does."
Just then, Tom stepped into the room. He headed
straight for B'Elanna until he noticed Rosi there. "Oh,
hi. I guess we'd better get going."
The trio stepped onto the transporter pad and soon re-
materialized on the planet's surface. Rosi, a well-trained
Starfleet officer, whipped out her tricorder and scanned the
area. The plan was to proceed from their current location
to an area of concentrated metal alloys that B'Elanna
planned to use for shuttle repair. The exact location of
the source could not be pinpointed by Voyager's scanners, so
the away team was instructed to collect foodstuffs and other
supplies as they went along. Presently, Rosi announced,
"The densest concentration is about 300 meters to the
north." She set off in that direction.
Tom and B'Elanna exchanged amused looks. It was highly
irregular for a junior officer to take the lead, but the
couple silently decided not to say anything. Rosi's strong
will was one of the many things they were coming to like
about her.
They reached a small canyon through which, Rosi assured
them, they would find the object of their mission. The pass
became narrower as they continued. They had to walk single
file, with Rosi in the lead and Tom bringing up the rear.
The three were chatting happily when they heard a loud
rumbling. The ground and walls around them began shaking.
"There's strong seismic activity directly beneath
us!" Rosi yelled over the noise.
"How close are we to the end of the pass?" B'Elanna
shouted back.
"It's just around the bend!"
"Then RUN!"
They took off, dodging falling rocks and debris as they
exited the canyon. Already, the shaking had lessened. When
it was over, B'Elanna looked around. They were on a wide,
grassy plain, Rosi was staring at her tricorder, and Tom was-
"Where's Tom?" B'Elanna asked. Before she received
an answer, she took off back toward the canyon.
"Wait! There's still the possibility of
aftershocks!" Rosi called as she chased the engineer.
B'Elanna soon answered her own question. She found her
fiancé face down in the dirt, a large stone near his head.
"Oh, Kahless's blood, don't let him die," she whispered,
lifting Tom and carrying him beyond the rocks. She was met
by Rosi who was already at work with her beloved tricorder.
"He's alive, but we've got to get him to Voyager as
soon as possible."
B'Elanna slapped her combadge. "Torres to Voyager.
Beam us directly to sickbay." The tingling of the
transporter began just as another earthquake did. It was
only then that B'Elanna felt the blood trickling down her
face.
* * * * * * * *
Ensign Rosi Davis sat on a bed in sickbay. She'd only
suffered a minor concussion and a few cuts and bruises, but
the Doctor ordered her to take it easy for awhile. Although
she'd been released to her quarters, she lingered in
sickbay, watching the activity around Tom Paris's bed. When
they first arrived, the Doctor had been rushing around the
room in his attempt to stabilize Tom without aid from a
medical assistant. B'Elanna was yelling at him to hurry up.
That was when Rosi passed out. Now, the Doctor was in his
office, and B'Elanna, a bandage on her forehead, was sitting
quietly at Tom's side. Rosi slowly stood up, trying to
ignore the pounding in her head, and walked over to
B'Elanna, who didn't even look up.
"B'Elanna," she said quietly, "What did...I mean, how
are you doing?"
The chief engineer pried her eyes from the bed.
"Tom's had a concussion, and the Doctor thinks there might
be brain damage, but he won't know until he wakes up."
"What about you?"
"Huh? Oh, just a couple of cuts. Nothing to worry
about. Not like -" She broke off, and Rosi was almost
certain the half-Klingon was about to cry.
The doors swished open, and Captain Janeway rushed
inside. After a hushed conference with the Doctor, she
hurried to her chief engineer's side.
B'Elanna saw her coming, and the two friends hugged.
Rosi thought that now would probably be a good time for her
to leave. On her way out, she passed Harry Kim, who was
coming in.
* * * * * * * *
It was dark. That was Tom's first thought. Why was it
so dark? Oh - he was asleep. Yes, that was it. He was
sleeping because - he was tired. So much had happened since
Kathryn Janeway had come to him at the penal colony to offer
him a job. He was exhausted by the effort of it all.
But now something (someone?) was telling him to wake
up. No, I want to sleep, he tried to tell it. However, he
couldn't ignore this compulsion to wake up. So he opened
his eyes.
* * * * * * * *
B'Elanna watched nervously as the Doctor applied a
hypospray to Tom's neck. "That should do it. He should be
waking up shortly," he announced to the three people
gathered around the bed. B'Elanna looked at the other two,
saw their worried expressions, and knew her face must mirror
theirs: Kathryn, in her role not only as a "mother hen"
but as a friend, and Harry, Tom's best friend since the ship
had left Deep Space 9. She turned her attention back to
Tom, whose hand she gripped firmly. *Come on, Tom, wake up!
Please, for all of us. You can do it, just open your eyes,
open them!* As if in response to her silent pleas, Tom
stirred and slowly opened his eyes. B'Elanna felt like
screaming with joy. The faces of the entire group lit up as
Tom glanced around.
"Tom, how are you feeling?" the captain asked.
"A little confused. And my head hurts. What
happened?"
"A rock hit you during an earthquake on the away
mission. You've been unconscious for 54 hours, 23 minutes,
and 12 seconds. I must admit, Mr. Paris, with all the
instances in which you've suffered injury, I feared this
time might prove to be the last," the Doctor answered.
Tom's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, all the times
I've suffered injury? I wasn't one of the injured ones.
And when did you get so...compassionate? As I recall, your
bedside manner needs some work."
The four healthy officers glanced at each other. What
was Tom talking about? Everyone had been injured on the
away mission. And how would he know that anyway? Suddenly,
the Doctor understood. "Mr. Paris, do you know where you
are?"
"Yeah, I'm the old woman and this is my shoe. Of
course I know. I'm on Voyager, and we're in the Delta
Quadrant."
"Can you name the people in this room. No joking,
please."
"Sure, you're the Doc, that's Ensign Harry Kim, that's
Captain Janeway, and that's..." Tom paused and squinted up at
B'Elanna. "You're the Maquis that was on the planet with
Harry, right? Torres, isn't it?"
B'Elanna was stunned. How could Tom be unsure of who
she was? They were engaged, for crying out loud! She
released her hold on his hand and stepped back from the
biobed, her eyes resting on him - Tom Paris, her first true
love and her fiancé, who didn't seem to know her from a
tribble.
The Doctor, oblivious to what was happening, had
meanwhile pulled out a tricorder and scanned Paris's head.
"Ah, now I perceive the focus of the damage," he
proclaimed in his typically omniscient manner. "The
hippocampus section of your brain's limbic system has
sustained damage. That explains your behavior." He looked
up, expecting praise for his excellent diagnosis. All he
received were blank stares. "Oh. I suppose I shall have
to explain. The hippocampus is the part of the limbic
system, the 'emotional brain', that relates to memory. You,
Mr. Paris, have a form of selective amnesia. This may come
as a surprise to you, but Voyager has been in the Delta
Quadrant for over four years."
"That long? Well, I guess I've got a lot of catching
up to do." He smiled up at the group.
Amnesia! B'Elanna hardly believed what she was
hearing, though she knew it had to be true. But how could
he forget all that had happened to them? His flight past
warp 10 that had caused Kathryn and him to evolve...the time
he rescued the entire crew and the ship from the Kazon...Kes's
departure and Seven of Nine's arrival...and especially the way
he and B'Elanna had become friends, and then more than
friends. All those memories, gone. It would take a long
time for him to learn all of them. And once he did, how
could B'Elanna even begin to hope that he would regain his
feelings for her? She glanced down at his figure, and at
the ring on her finger, and she knew what she had to do; the
only kind thing to do. "Captain, Harry, could you come
over here for a minute?" she said, walking across the room
as the Doctor continued to examine Tom.
When they were out of hearing range, B'Elanna took a
deep breath and said, "Look, I know Tom's got a hard time
ahead of him, learning what's happened, and he'll be under a
lot of emotional stress, so...don't tell him about our
engagement. Actually, don't tell him about our relationship
at all. From now on, we're just...good friends. Okay?"
Kathryn and Harry reluctantly nodded, then the trio walked
back to Tom and the Doctor. The Doctor looked up.
"Other than his amnesia, Mr. Paris has no brain
damage. However, I'd like him to remain in sickbay for a
few days." With that, he retreated to his office.
Captain Janeway turned to Tom. "I'm sure you'll make
a full recovery. If there's anything you need, don't
hesitate to ask. I'll be on the bridge." She smiled and
exited sickbay.
"Actually, I'd better get going, too," B'Elanna said.
"I'll, uh, see you guys later." She turned towards the
door.
"Wait a minute!" Tom exclaimed.
B'Elanna stopped and faced the bed. Tom had called her
back - could it be that he remembered who she was?
"I did remember your name? It is Torres, right?" he
asked uncertainly.
"Right. Lt. B'Elanna Torres." With a broken heart,
she left. As she walked toward the turbolift, she wiped her
damp cheek and took off the sapphire ring.
Tom watched her go. "Harry," he said, "before you
start re-educating me, tell me one thing - how come Lt.
Torres was here? Is she a friend of mine?"
"Yeah," the ensign replied. "A good friend."
* * * * * * * *
It had been three months since the accident. Three
months since Tom woke up. And three months since he'd
forgotten her.
As B'Elanna sat at a post in Engineering, she thought
about those three empty months. She recalled leaving
sickbay and going to her quarters. She'd spent an hour or
so crying, then she'd accessed Tom's personal logs and
erased all his romantic mentions of her. She'd felt
incredibly sneaky doing it, but it was necessary if she and
Harry were going to teach Tom their version of the past.
And Tom had been an eager student. He quickly learned about
everything (well, almost everything) that had happened, and
he only needed occasional reminders. Sometimes he would
actually recover some of his lost memory, which the Doctor
had said might happen. It was almost as if the accident had
never occurred, in that way. But his relationships with
most of the crew had completely changed. He had to get to
know them all over again. Of all the people on Voyager,
B'Elanna had the most trouble with this. Oh sure, they were
good friends again. It was like it was before they'd gotten
together, how she and Tom and Harry were a group. But every
time they were together, B'Elanna couldn't stop thinking
about how much she wanted to go back to before the accident.
* * * * * * * *
As Tom sat at the helm, he thought about the past three
months. Everyone had been very understanding and helpful,
and according to Harry and B'Elanna, everything was back to
normal. B'Elanna - now there was something to think about.
If they were such good friends, why did she look so sad
and...wistful, he realized, whenever they were together? He
had a nagging feeling that there was something his friends
were keeping from him, something having to do with B'Elanna,
but they had assured him that there wasn't, and his personal
logs agreed. Still, his friends were engineers. If they
knew his access codes, they could have changed his records.
But why would they do that? And how would they know the
codes? The only reason Tom would tell anyone that
information was if he was planning on spending the rest of
his life with -
*Wait a minute,* he thought. Maybe he was on to
something...
* * * * * * * *
As Captain Janeway sat on the bridge, she thought about
the past three months. She'd been so happy for Tom and
B'Elanna when they'd finally gotten engaged. Her optimistic
nature had shone through and caused her to believe they
would live "happily ever after". But all that had changed
in one moment. And she blamed herself. It hadn't really
been necessary to send three people on that away mission,
but she'd wanted to make her friends happy. If she hadn't
sent them both, Tom would never have had his accident. It
was a two-pronged tragedy. Not only were Tom's memory and
love for B'Elanna gone, but B'Elanna herself had never
recovered from the incident. Physically, she was all right,
but the emotional burden she carried was evident to anyone
who knew her well. Kathryn had watched her friend grow more
and more depressed as each day passed. Talking to her was
no use. The only person who could make B'Elanna happy again
was Tom - but he didn't even know what was wrong! Damn, if
she'd only omitted Tom from that mission...
* * * * * * * *
Tom and Harry walked down the corridor to B'Elanna's
quarters. The three of them were going white water rafting
on the holodeck, and Tom was impatient to get going. At the
sound of B'Elanna's, "Come in," they stepped through the
door. The half-Klingon was nowhere to be seen.
"Sorry, I got wrapped up with something in
Engineering. I'll be out in a minute," she called from
another room.
"Take your time," Harry called back.
Tom paced around the room. He'd been rafting once
before, as a kid, and he was eager to share the experience
with his friends. He stopped pacing to examine the objects
on a small table in a corner. For some unknown reason, he
felt drawn to them. As he looked around, his eyes kept
returning to a small black box. While Harry was facing the
other way, he sneaked a peek at the box's contents. It was
a silver ring adorned with a sapphire bordered by two
diamonds. As if his hand were being controlled by some
outside force, Tom swiftly removed the ring from its box and
put it in his pocket. Immediately he regretted it, but just
then, B'Elanna stepped into the room saying, "Okay, I'm
ready. Let's go."
The three friends departed, and Tom thought no more
about the ring.
Later that day, Ensign Davis was walking down a
corridor to her quarters. It had been a hectic day - the
captain had wanted to explore an anomaly and things hadn't
exactly turned out as planned. She'd kept Rosi's department
on their toes, as her grandmother used to say. Now that it
was over, Rosi's thoughts turned to Tom and B'Elanna. After
the accident, Rosi had blamed herself. If she'd only been
paying more attention to the tricorder, she would have known
about the earthquake in advance, and they could have gotten
out in time. She shouldn't have taken the lead. There was
probably another, safer route, and if there wasn't, well,
she should have been in back as the lowest in rank. Then
she would have been the injured one. She'd apologized
profusely to her new friends, but they'd reassured her that
it wasn't her fault and she'd believed them. Now things
were back to normal - even better than normal, because of
her new friends. And yet, something seemed wrong. She
tried to place it, and found that the difference was the
relationship between her friends. They didn't act as though
they were engaged or even as if they were in love. B'Elanna
never wore the beautiful ring Tom gave her, not even when
Neelix had parties on the holodeck. And what was with
B'Elanna, anyway? Rosi had been seeing her less and less,
and when she did see her, the half-Klingon was withdrawn and
depressed. Sure she would smile and laugh, but it looked
really forced. And Tom didn't even seem to notice!
As she turned the corner, she spotted Tom himself at
the end of the hall. Now she would find out what was going
on! "Hey, Paris! Wait up." She quickened her pace to
catch him.
"Hi, Rosi, what's up?" he said cheerfully.
"Nothing much," she lied. They chatted for awhile,
then Rosi took a deep breath and asked, "So, Tom, have you
and B'Elanna done anything together recently?" She smiled
knowingly.
Tom smiled back. Okay, so maybe she was wrong. "Oh
yeah," he said. "She and Harry and I went rafting on the
holodeck earlier. Of course, the captain interrupted us.
Don't you remember? We asked you to come, but you had an
extra shift?"
Never mind. "Oh, that. But what I meant was have you
and B'Elanna done anything just the two of you lately?"
Now he seemed confused. "No...should we have?" he
asked suspiciously.
So there was something wrong! Tom didn't seem to know
anything about his relationship. What was going on? Rosi
realized that Tom was waiting for an answer. She shook her
head and assured him that she was just babbling. There was
an awkward silence, then he said, "You know, I've been
looking through all of my holodeck programs to try and jog
my memory. Wanna come help?"
If she couldn't solve the mystery, at least she could
have fun. She said yes, and the pair strolled to the
holodeck. Upon arriving, Tom commanded, "Computer, open
program..." He checked his list of untested programs.
"...parisrag."
Parisrag. The name sounded familiar to Rosi, but she
couldn't place it.
The doors to the holodeck opened, and the two stepped
in. Neither saw the dark figure at the end of the hall who
gasped and ran away.
* * * * * * * *
B'Elanna was in shock. Tom - and Rosi? Together?
Using the program the helmsman had created for his (former)
fiancée? B'Elanna had thought she could handle not being
with him, thought she could stand up to the challenge of
just being friends. But she never expected this. How could
he? How dare he date someone besides her?
She replayed the scene again and again in her mind.
She'd finally worked up the courage to tell Tom the truth,
with a little encouraging - okay, ordering - from Kathryn.
Upon seeing her friends in front of the holodeck, she was
too shocked to move. All she heard was, "Computer, open
program parisrag." Now all she could do was run back to
the turbolift and try not to cry.
* * * * * * * *
Rosi and Tom stepped onto the holodeck. They were
standing in a courtyard. At one end were two tall
buildings, and if they looked carefully they could see the
tiny figures of window washers. Concrete buildings
surrounded the courtyard. It was late afternoon. Tom
gasped. "I recognize this. It's Century Plaza in 1997.
My mother brought me to a holo-recreation of it to see
Ragtime at the Shubert Theatre."
Ragtime. Rosi knew that was important somehow, but -
uh-oh. Now she remembered B'Elanna talking about the
evening of the engagement. Oops. "Uh, Tom, you know, uh,
I'm kind of tired. I think I should go back to my
quartersnowseeyatomorrow," she said quickly as she darted
out of the holodeck.
Five minutes later, Tom sank into the recliner in his
quarters. What was up with Rosi? She'd seemed alert when
he ran into her. Had he done something wrong? Scared her
away somehow? As soon as he'd mentioned Ragtime, she'd
fled. Maybe she misinterpreted his invitation as something
more than just friendly. Not that he was repelled by her or
anything. Rosi was cute, spunky, intelligent, and
independent, all traits he liked in girls. But he wasn't
interested in her romantically. Thinking about it, the
pilot decided he hadn't done anything to make her think that
was what he wanted. So what then? He sighed, frustrated.
Just when he'd thought he was finally caught up, things
turned strange. For one thing, there was Rosi. And before
that was B'Elanna.
The ring! He smacked his head and went to get it from
his bedroom. *Good job, Paris, now you're a thief, too.*
He took out the ring and held it up to the light. The
sparkling diamonds reflected the sapphire's blue. He
wondered where B'Elanna had gotten such a gorgeous ring. He
doubted it was a memento from her childhood - from what he
knew, he didn't think it was the kind of thing her mother
would have allowed her to have. So it could be from either
quadrant, and if it was the Delta it was probably
replicated. He placed the ring in his replicator.
"Computer," he said, "was this ring replicated?"
"Affirmative."
"Where?"
"Please specify."
Tom sighed in frustration and determined that the
computer's voice must have come from a Vulcan. Now why did
that thought seem so familiar? He clenched his teeth and
said, "Where was this ring replicated?"
"This item was replicated on the United Federation of
Planets starship Voyager, Intrepid class, serial number -"
"That's fine, thank you!" he interrupted. To his
relief, the computer shut up.
So she'd gotten the ring during their time in the Delta
Quadrant. But from where? It must have taken a lot of
rations, and B'Elanna wouldn't have wasted that many on
something so frivolous. So it must have been a gift. But
from whom? As far as Tom could tell, she wasn't involved
with anyone. On a sudden inspiration, he asked the computer
if the ring was from this replicator. The reply was
affirmative! Excited he requested the creation date. It
turned out to be the day before his accident.
So his friends were keeping something from him! He and
B'Elanna were apparently much more than just good friends.
Tom was in shock. Why hadn't they told him? Judging by the
ring, this was a major part of his life! No wonder B'Elanna
seemed unhappy. But again, why hadn't she told him?
"Maybe...maybe we broke up," he thought out loud.
Yeah, that must have been it. And she kept the ring for
sentimental value. He should probably return it. He left
his quarters, ring in hand. He turned the corner...
...and ran into a very upset B'Elanna.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Oh, uh...nothing really, it's just that I lost
something that meant a lot to me."
Oops.
He didn't tell her about the ring. He simply tried to
comfort her, and then made up some excuse about having to
help the Doctor, sneaked into her room and replaced the
ring.
* * * * * * * *
B'Elanna hurried down the corridor. Work. She needed
to work. She stepped onto the turbolift, shutting all other
thoughts out of her mind. She breezed by the surprised
Gamma shift and shut herself in her office. Her crew knew
better than to disturb her, and of course, Tom wouldn't be
coming down to remind her to sleep.
Damn, how did that thought sneak in? She sighed. It
was no use. She couldn't stop thinking about him. She
remembered their all-too-recent conversation: "I lost
something that meant a lot to me." Talk about double
meanings! Their ring, the only token of their love that she
hadn't put away, had been her only comfort in Tom's absence.
She would take it out every now and then, put it on, and try
to pretend the last three months hadn't happened, that she
and Tom were engaged, that she was happy. But now it was
over. The ring was gone. The faint hopes she had of a
reunion were gone with Rosi. Upset as she was, she couldn't
bring herself to hate the girl, who was surely as innocent
in all this as Tom. B'Elanna felt the now-familiar tears
coming, and she shook her head in defiance. "No," she
muttered. "I will not cry." She'd been doing too much of
that lately. Taking a deep breath, she lifted the closest
PADD and began reading Carey's report.
When she finally went home, she gave the ring case a
hopeful glance, but refused to look inside, knowing she
would only find disappointment.
* * * * * * * *
Tom sat awake in bed. B'Elanna and him? Together?
Whoa. But if they'd broken up, why was she so upset about
the ring's disappearance? He was sure she was stronger than
that. Maybe it had been one-sided; maybe he'd ended the
relationship. Of course, he couldn't see why. B'Elanna was
an amazing woman, so intelligent, so strong, and now that he
thought about it, so beautiful. He couldn't think of any
reason why he'd want to break up with such a wonderful
person. His head began to hurt. *No way can I think about
this anymore. I'll ask Harry tomorrow.*
* * * * * * * *
Janeway could hardly contain herself. Today everything
would be perfect between her two favorite lieutenants.
B'Elanna had been determined to talk to Tom when she left
Kathryn the previous evening. Everything must have worked
out.
She silently scolded herself for not paying more
attention to Chakotay's report, and was about to ask him to
repeat something when she heard the doors to the bridge
slide open. To the first officer's surprise, she whirled
around to face Tom as he went to his station.
What she saw was not exactly what she had expected.
Instead of the amazed, happy, or even puzzled expression she
had predicted, he had the same nonchalant look as always.
She sat back in her seat, ignoring Chakotay's confusion.
What could be wrong? Tom must have some reaction. Then she
remembered how good he was at masking his feelings.
Once again, she heard the doors open. And once again
the captain spun around, knocking Chakotay's PADD out of his
hand. B'Elanna rushed in, barely giving Janeway enough time
to scan her expression before sitting down. This time, when
the captain turned back, Chakotay held his PADD with the
opposite hand. "Captain," he whispered, "are you
all right?" She dismissed him with a nod.
What was going on??? B'Elanna's face had been a
tapestry of confusion, misery, anxiety, and despair, among
others. None of the sad relief of Janeway's worst case
scenario or the joy of the best cases. She watched as Tom
looked over at the engineering station to give B'Elanna a
friendly nod, as he always did. Usually the engineer
responded in kind, but this morning she avoided his glance.
In doing so, her eyes caught the captain's, and was that -
shame Janeway saw?
Her mind raced. This was insane! And how come
Chakotay wasn't picking up any of this? Usually he sensed
these things, but it looked as if this time, he'd have to be
told. But why tell? It would only complicate things. Wait
- that was it! B'Elanna must not have told Tom. Great.
Just great.
* * * * * * * *
"Ain't it great, Harry?" said Tom loudly as the two
sat down in the mess hall. "Yet another of Neelix's
delicious meals." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the
Talaxian's face light up.
Harry laughed. "Oh, yeah, just the thing - for
someone trying to lose weight," he added, the last part in
a low voice to protect the cook's feelings. "Hey, where's
B'Elanna? She's usually here by now."
"No idea. Speaking of her," the pilot took a deep
breath, "IhaveaquestionforyoudidweImean
wastheresomethingyouknow -"
"Whoa, slow down! I can't understand a word you're
saying."
"Sorry. Okay. Um, let's see...have you noticed
anything unusual about B'Elanna's behavior lately?"
*Besides the fact that she's absolutely miserable?*
"No, why do you ask?"
"It's mainly her attitude towards me, I think. Did we
forget her birthday or something? Is there - something
about her you didn't tell me?"
That was entirely too close to the truth. "Tom, I
think you got a little water in your head yesterday.
There's nothing wrong."
"If you say so." Tom shrugged. Harry was right. He
was probably imagining things. He remembered reading a good
deal about the Delaney sisters in his logs. Maybe the ring
had been a gift for one of them. And she'd probably turned
him down. That made sense. He probably gave it to B'Elanna
instead of recycling it. Yeah, that sounded right.
As the pair continued their "meal," Harry felt
guilty. He hated having to lie to his friend, but he had
promised B'Elanna. *I sure hope she made the right
decision.*
As the weeks passed, Tom, Harry, Kathryn, and Rosi saw
less and less of their friend. She was never in the mess
hall because of "too much work," and she never joined
them on the holodecks because she was "tired from all that
work." Even at staff meetings, she was curt with everyone.
No one could recall the last time she'd smiled. She had
shut out everyone and everything except her work. It became
her life. After a time, even that slowed down. The ship
was passing through unoccupied, normal space, and for once
nothing was malfunctioning. Still, she continued to spend
all of her time in engineering, pulling as many double
shifts as Chakotay could schedule. Both Harry and Janeway
had tried to talk to her, but she insisted she was fine.
Janeway had gotten her to admit she hadn't told Tom the
truth, but all the captain could do was order her to spend
time on the holodecks, which she did alone. Emotion? Well,
she didn't seem so miserable anymore, but she seemed to be
part Vulcan. Her staff rarely felt her wrath anymore, both
pleasing and worrying them. She was a self-contained vessel
of tragedy.
* * * * * * * *
Rosi sighed as she relaxed in her quarters. She'd had
a great day. First a commendation from the captain for her
work, and then her team won the softball game some friends
and she organized. She smiled, remembering Tom's face when
she'd smacked his pitch waaaaaay into the outfield.
Afterwards, Tom, Harry, and she went to Sandrine's.
B'Elanna, of course, had declined invitations to both the
game and the bar. No one had seen much of the engineer
outside of work lately, except for the occasional meeting in
the mess hall. Despite B'Elanna's assurances that she was
fine, Rosi was worried. Although she hadn't really known
the half-Klingon prior to Tom's accident, she'd often seen
her at parties and the like. B'Elanna had always struck
Rosi as fun-loving, if a bit - okay, very temperamental.
But now that they were friends, Rosi saw her even less!
She sat up on the couch and rested her chin in her
hands. Thinking about it, she realized B'Elanna hadn't been
the same since that fateful away mission, even though things
had returned to normal. Now of course, she was isolated
instead of depressed, but that was still abnormal. Then
there was the mystery of her relationship with Tom, about
which Rosi was still puzzled. She didn't entirely believe
the ship-wide rumor of a post-accident breakup.
The accident again. So many things had changed since
then, both good and bad. Rosi's guilt had lessened, but she
had a lingering feeling that she should do something to
right her wrong. Talking to Harry about the "breakup" was
out; she'd tried that and had received an evasive answer.
And although B'Elanna and the captain were good friends,
Rosi was not yet comfortable talking that way to her. And
Harry had already talked to B'Elanna, hadn't he? But maybe
he didn't ask the right questions. Harry wasn't exactly the
most forceful person she knew. So. There it was. Rosi
steeled her nerves and left her quarters.
At B'Elanna's calm, "Come in," Rosi stepped into the
room. B'Elanna was a little surprised to see her, but she
greeted the ensign and invited her to sit. Before she could
say anything else, Rosi jumped in.
"B'Elanna, what's going on? I know there's something
wrong, everybody does, so why won't you tell us?"
The engineer answered indifferently. "I have no idea
what you're talking about. I'm perfectly -"
"Yeah, I know, you're fine. As Grandma used to say,
bull. I don't believe it. You've changed, in a major way.
I mean, first you're all depressed, and now you're a self-
made pariah."
"I've simply realized I needed a few changes in my
life."
"Like what?" Rosi asked.
B'Elanna was silent.
"Does this have to do with," Rosi said hesitantly,
"your breakup with Tom.?"
Once again, no answer, but Rosi saw B'Elanna twitch at
the pilot's name.
"So it does have to do with him! Come on, spill it.
I'm staying right here until you do."
B'Elanna sighed. She was tired, sick and tired of this
charade. *This is insane, but what have I got to lose?*
"All right, you want to know what's going on? I'll tell
you. Tom and I never broke up, I just never told him about
our relationship. I erased the entire thing from his logs,
and made Kathryn and Harry promise not to tell. As far as
Tom knows, he and I are merely friends. Of course, that
left him free to pursue other relationships, which he seems
to have done. But then, you knew that. It's better this
way, because now I know he didn't really love me in the
first place. I doubt he knew what he was doing when he
asked me to marry him. There, are you happy?"
As B'Elanna talked, she lost her stoics and went into a
growing rage. Rosi was frightened, but not daunted. She
took in what B'Elanna said carefully. "So...he never knew?
Never guessed? Wow."
Sinking back into her chair, B'Elanna nodded. She felt
as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders only
to hover in the center of the room.
Now it all made sense, except - "Wait, what do you
mean, 'other relationships'?"
"Don't play games with me, Rosi. I may be somewhat
out of the loop, but I know what's going on." Rosi was
still confused. "Fine, I'll spell it out for you. I saw
you and Tom on the holodeck, opening parisrag. I can't
blame him for choosing you or you for choosing him. And I'm
not mad. I should have expected it."
"B'Elanna - "
"Oh, one more thing. My ring's gone. Disappeared the
same night I saw you. With him."
"B'Elanna - "
"Don't worry, I'm not mad at either of you. In fact,
you have my blessing. Tom's a wonderful - "
"Will you shut up and listen to me already?!?" Rosi
demanded. B'Elanna was shocked into silence. "Thank you.
First of all, I appreciate that you've finally opened up to
me. We've all been worried about you. Second, I'm really
sorry about the ring. I know how much it means to you.
Third, Tom and I are not involved in a romantic
relationship, or anything remotely resembling one."
Not involved? But then - "What about what I saw?"
"Bad timing." She explained what had happened to the
perplexed engineer. "And the next day, I apologized and we
let the whole thing go." Rosi watched her silent friend
for a good minute. "B'Elanna?" she finally ventured.
The half-Klingon looked up. She'd nearly forgotten
Rosi was there. "I'm sorry. About everything. I wasn't
thinking, or I was thinking too much, and -"
"That's all right. But you've got to get out of this
pit. Why don't you tell Tom the truth? It would make
things better for everyone."
B'Elanna shook her head. "No. I can't do that. It
would only complicate things; I'm sure of that. But I think
I can deal with this like a normal person." She got up and
walked over to the small table in the corner. Picking up
the black box, she sighed. Opening it, she said, "The only
thing that could make this easier would be - " she broke
off with a gasp. "Oh, Kahless, it's back!"
Rosi hurried over to see the ring, which was calmly
sitting in its box.
"How can this be? Oh, who cares as long as I've got
it back." B'Elanna was happier than she'd been in awhile.
Rosi remained suspicious about the mysterious return of
the ring, but she set her dark thoughts aside. After some
rejoicing, she put her hands on B'Elanna's shoulders. "Now
you have to do me a favor. Promise me you'll stop isolating
yourself. Spend more time with your friends, less at work.
And if you're ever upset, talk to one of us, for goodness
sake!"
B'Elanna nodded solemnly. "I promise."
Rosi smiled. "Great! Now I'm gonna go, but I'll
expect to see you at breakfast tomorrow morning."
"Yes, ma'am!" Laughing, Rosi left.
B'Elanna was content. The weight in the room had
shrunk to near inexistance, and she was certain it would
disappear entirely in the coming days. Maybe she could go
back to before.
* * * * * * * *
One week later, B'Elanna laughed bitterly while reading
last week's personal log entry. How could she have thought
the weight would disappear? Did she really think she could
rejoin society, just like that? What a fool she was.
It wasn't that she hadn't tried. She'd spent a lot of
time with her friends on the holodecks and in the mess hall.
Her fears about Tom and Rosi were assuaged. Outside, she
was her pre-accident, pre-relationship self.
Inside was a different story. Try as she might, she
couldn't stop loving Tom. He filled her thoughts and her
heart, and it was all she could do to keep from staring at
him constantly. Originally, she'd retained hope that he
might remember their love or that he'd fall in love with her
again. Now she realized how silly that was. *A fluke,
that's what it was. His love was an accident, a chance
happening gone forever.* Kahless, how could she have ever
thought otherwise?
The irrepressible weight slowly expanded. It would
soon fill the room.
* * * * * * * *
As the tingle of the transporter faded, B'Elanna heard
the captain greet the ambassador of Giflia III, a neutral
planet with a thriving interplanetary market. Kathryn,
B'Elanna, Neelix, and Ensign Jennifer Collesel had beamed
down to examine the possibilities.
"Greetings, Captain of the Voyager. Tales of you ship
have reached us from afar." This was standard Giflian
diplomacy.
The captain returned in kind. "Greetings, Ambassador.
Your planet is praised by all whom we have met. Allow me to
introduce my crew. Lt. Torres and Ensign Collesel are
engineers, and Mr. Neelix is our cook, morale officer, and
chief ambassador."
"Greetings to you all. I hope our resources fit your
needs. Our technological wares are located down the far
corridor, and our organic fare may be found behind me."
With a nod from the captain, Torres and Collesel thanked the
ambassador and took off down the passage. Their destination
wasn't far away.
"I think I see where we're going, Lieutenant, there,
at the corner!" the perky ensign informed. Under any
normal circumstances, B'Elanna would have rushed to the
shop. But something caught her eye.
"You go ahead. I want to look at something. But
don't purchase anything until I get there." With a nod,
Jennifer set off.
Quickly glancing around to make sure no one was
watching her, B'Elanna ducked into the small, dark shop.
She appeared to be the only customer aside from a shady-
looking group at the end of the counter. The wares, their
edges glinting, were lined up in cases according to size.
She examined them carefully, considering whether or not to
actually go through with this. *I guess I'll get one. Just
in case.* She leaned over and rang the service bell.
When the away team returned to Voyager, she rushed to
her quarters, sat down, and took out her neatly wrapped
purchase. Slowly, she unwrapped the packaging and removed
the object. The low lights of the room reflected off of it,
making it all the more entrancing. It seemed to be calling
- no, commanding her to use it, to feel its coolness against
her skin. B'Elanna turned her arm face-up.
"Sickbay to Torres."
She lowered her arms. "Torres here. What is it
Doctor?"
"The captain informed me you'd be coming by with the
new materials for my holo-emitter. When exactly were you
planning on coming?" he asked, sounding annoyed.
Sighing, she replied. "I'm on my way. Torres out."
She gathered up her supplies, took one last look at her
brand-new knife, and hid it in a drawer.
* * * * * * * *
As time passed, B'Elanna became more adept at
controlling her emotions. This was due in part to her
concealed activities. The pain she felt upon seeing Tom
everyday was relieved by a few nicks of the wrist every
night. On the really bad days, she made her cuts slightly
bigger. She became addicted to the bleeding; her need for
it alleviated her need for Tom. And no one noticed a thing.
* * * * * * * *
"The sun was shining on the sea, shining with all his
might," Tom recited.
"He did his very best to make the billows smooth and
bright," Harry added.
"And this was odd, because it was the middle of the
night!" B'Elanna and Rosi finished as the group settled on
the warm holo-beach at 0200. None of them had been very
sleepy after the uneventful day.
For awhile, everyone lay quietly, absorbing the sun's
warm, if fake, rays. Tom looked at each of his companions,
thinking how lucky he was. First of all, there was Harry,
his best friend who'd stuck with him for all that he could
remember. Next to Harry was Rosi, whose originality brought
an interesting spin to the group. And finally, B'Elanna.
Wearing a black bikini, she lay contentedly with closed
eyes. Gods, she looked hot. Tom quickly chastised himself
for that silent comment. It was obvious she didn't have any
interest in him, so it would be stupid for him to become
attracted to her. But as he looked around, he found his
eyes and mind drifting back to the dark figure in the sand.
She was so perfect in form, and there were no mars to her
smooth skin. Wait - what was that on her arm? Quickly
checking to make sure the others weren't paying attention,
Tom leaned over for a closer look. Thin, pale lines
crisscrossed her forearm, scars of some sort. They were
probably from work. B'Elanna often mentioned not seeing
small wounds until someone pointed them out. Yet there was
something bothering him about the scars, something
almost...familiar.
The mystery of the scar continued to plague Tom later
as he walked back to his quarters. He knew he'd seen them
before, but a long time before. This wasn't something he'd
forgotten because of the accident. It was...what was it? His
childhood, maybe...
Suddenly, it came to him. He collapsed on the couch,
remembering.
16-year old Tom Paris slammed the door to his room.
Angrily, he threw his bag at the wall and stomped into the
adjoining bathroom. His father's words ran through his
head: "You're a disgrace, Thomas! You'll never amount to
anything! I wish you'd never been born so I wouldn't have
to endure this humiliation!!!" he'd said. Tom couldn't get
those painful words out of his mind. As he glanced around,
his eyes fell upon his authentic 20th century "Swiss army
knife". He picked it up and opened the blade. He'd heard
of kids doing this, but it had seemed like a thing of the
past. But then, he did have a fascination with the past.
The trickle of his blood brought him relief...
Tom sat up with a start. Familiar indeed! He jumped
up and rushed out of his quarters. He had to get to
B'Elanna - before it was too late.
* * * * * * * *
B'Elanna crouched on the floor, sobbing. How stupid
she'd been to even try to pretend she was all right! Seeing
him at the beach was like seeing a second sun - a marvelous
entity to be admired from afar. Too far. She couldn't take
it anymore. The nicks were no longer enough. No one would
miss her; nobody wanted her around anyway. She was a third
wheel, or fourth, or whatever was appropriate. She didn't
deserve to be here. Wiping away her tears, she lifted the
knife and sliced open the veins in her wrists. As her blood
ran out, she drifted into unconsciousness, embracing the
darkness. She didn't see Tom run into the room.
* * * * * * * *
Captain Janeway was sitting in her ready room with a
cup of coffee at 0700 when her combadge beeped.
"Good morning, Captain."
"Good morning, Doctor. What can I do for you?"
He hesitated. "Captain, Lt. Torres was brought in
unconscious at 0400 this morning. I -"
"What? Why wasn't I informed earlier?"
"Captain, she's not in any immediate danger. I didn't
want to wake you. But I think you should come down here
now."
"I'm on my way." As she passed through the bridge,
she noticed Tom's absence and Harry's glances between the
pilot's chair and the turbolift, but she pushed those
observations to the back of her mind as she stood in the
lift.
Upon entering sickbay, she saw Tom sitting at
B'Elanna's bedside. The Doctor came over.
"He brought her in this morning. Her wrists were
slashed and I saw evidence of previous lacerations. She'd
lost a lot of blood, but all she needs now is to rest. I've
sedated her, so she'll sleep for the rest of the day. My
immediate concern is Mr. Paris. He refuses to leave. I
don't think he's slept all night."
Janeway was stunned. B'Elanna - attempting suicide?
It didn't seem like her. But she'd recovered from her loss,
or so the captain had thought. She would have to talk to
the half-Klingon, perhaps get Chakotay to do some
counseling. She shook her head and stepped up to the
biobed. B'Elanna was pale from blood loss, and the captain
could see scars on her friend's arms. She glanced at Tom,
who didn't seem to notice her.
"Tom," she said gently. The startled pilot tore his
eyes from B'Elanna and finally acknowledged the captain.
"Tom, I'm relieving you of duty for the rest of the day.
Go to your quarters and get some sleep."
"Captain, please let me stay here. I need to be here
when she wakes up."
"I'll have the doctor notify you. Until then, go
home."
"But -"
"That's an order, Mr. Paris."
"Yes, Captain." With one last look at B'Elanna, he
left.
* * * * * * * *
Tom sighed as he rolled over in his bed. He'd been
trying to sleep for the past hour, but all he could think
about was B'Elanna. She'd looked so helpless lying there,
thought he knew she wasn't. He was thankful he'd gotten to
her before she - but he didn't want to think about that.
*Gods, why would she do that to herself? This gorgeous,
perfect woman has everything; what could compel her to
develop a death wish?* "Why, B'Elanna, why?" he muttered
unknowingly. "Doesn't she know how much I love her?"
*Wait a minute, did I just say -- * "I...love her," he
repeated experimentally, turning the idea over in his mind.
As he thought, clarity flooded his mind. "I love her! I
love B'Elanna!" With his mind at rest, he fell asleep.
Hours later, he woke to the sound of his combadge.
"Sickbay to Paris."
"Yeah?" he said sleepily.
"Lt. Torres should be waking up soon."
Tom was suddenly alert. "Thanks, Doc. I'll be right
there. Paris out." Putting on his uniform jacket, he ran
out the door -
-- And into Harry Kim.
"Whoa, Tom, where's the fire?" the startled ensign
joked.
"The Doc just told me B'Elanna's waking up. I'm
heading to sickbay."
"I'm coming," said Harry as they stepped into the
turbolift. He looked over at his taller friend. Tom seemed
excited, anxious. "What's with you, Tom?"
"Can't a guy be happy about a friend's recovery?"
"Nu-uh, you can't keep this one from me. I know you,
buddy. You're hiding something."
*Might as well tell him now,* Tom thought. "Fine.
Well, for awhile now I've been feeling a little strange.
About certain people. Actually, a certain person. So I was
thinking today, and I figured it out." He took a breath.
"Harry, I think - I think I'm in love with B'Elanna." He
waited anxiously for his friend's reaction.
*Talk about being destined for each other!* Out loud,
Harry said, "Tom, that's great!"
"Great? Harry, she doesn't exactly seem to have any
special feelings for me."
Harry tried to get control of himself. "I think you
should tell her about these feelings right away."
"Really? I was thinking of bringing it on more
slowly, but then, you know her better than I do. So if
you're sure..."
"Positive." The turbolift doors slid open, and the
two dashed out.
Suddenly, the sky fell. Actually, it was a piece of
the overhead bulkhead. It landed on Tom's head, knocking
him unconscious.
"Oops," Harry heard Ensign Collesel say from the
Jeffries tube overhead. He knelt beside Tom.
"Tom? Can you hear me?" he said, shaking the pilot's
shoulders.
"Huh?" the lieutenant said groggily. "Harry? What
am I doing on the floor?"
"You got knocked out for a few seconds. We were on
our way to sickbay to see B'Elanna."
"Lanna's in sickbay? Oh my god, I've got to get there
right away." He sat up, then grabbed his spinning head.
Harry paused. "Hold on. What did you just call B -
Lt. Torres?"
"I called her Lanna. I always do that. You know
that. Harry? Why are you looking at me that way?"
For the second time that day, Harry tried to control
his emotions. "Listen carefully, Tom. What's the last
thing you remember?"
"Lanna, Rosi, and I were on that planet...and something
fell on me...and then," realization lit up his face. "I had
amnesia and...Harry, I remember!"
"How much? How much do you remember?"
"Everything. I remember before - and after. Let's
get to sickbay."
They ran into sickbay and were greeted by Janeway and
the Doctor.
"Calm down, gentlemen, B'Elanna's still asleep," the
Doctor said.
"Doc, you won't believe what happened,"
"It's amazing, Captain,"
"We were walking along when - "
"Slow down!" the captain laughed. "Tom, why don't
you tell us what happened." Paris did so. The Doctor
pulled out his tricorder.
"Aside from a bruised head, Mr. Paris, you're
perfectly healthy. Congratulations on regaining your
memories." Just then, the figure on the biobed gave a
small groan. Tom raced to her side.
B'Elanna slowly opened her eyes. She saw Tom standing
over her, looking strangely flushed. In the background, she
could see Harry, Kathryn, and the Doctor. Why was she here?
Oh, yeah. That. She turned away in shame.
"Lanna?" Tom whispered. "Darling, how do you feel?"
How did he think she felt? Wait - "Wh-what did you
just say?"
"How do you feel?" he replied, taking her hand.
"No, before that."
"Lanna. My love."
Could it be? "Tom?"
"Yes, Lanna, I've got my memories back. All of
them."
A smile slowly crept over her face to match the one on
Tom's.
* * * * * * * *
B'Elanna sighed with satisfaction as she adjusted her
dress one last time. Tom was going to pick her up in five
minutes, and she wanted everything to be perfect. It had
been only two weeks since her suicide attempt, but she felt
as if it had been either a million years or just a day. She
recalled listening to Tom's story. She could still hear
Kathryn's lecture about talking about one's feelings, and
then B'Elanna remembered the captain's expression as she
told the engineer that she no longer saw a need for her to
receive counseling. She looked down at the ring on her
finger, remembering how she'd forgiven Tom when he told her
the truth about its disappearance. Just then, he arrived
and the happy couple took off.
As they stood together in the turbolift, she gazed up
at her fiancé. One of the happiest parts of her recovery
had been knowing that even without his memories, Tom had
loved her. That knowledge comforted and stayed with her as
they rebuilt their relationship.
The doors opened, and they walked up to Holodeck 2.
"Computer," Tom said, "Open program - " he glanced at
B'Elanna - "parisrag." Thankfully, his request was
granted.
As the first strains of music filtered out into the
full theatre, B'Elanna rested her head on Tom's shoulder.
Everything was back to before. Life was perfect.
Fin
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