Return
to Starbuggered
Title: Justice is Cross-eyed
Author: Poet
http://www.oocities.org/norseblue/main.html
http://www.oocities.org/norseblue/myfic/myfic.html
Sequel to "Fic for the Dumped." Any summary beyond that would be telling. *g*
As for ownership... I've decided. That Grant Naylor creature doesn't know how to treat my boys right, so I'm just moving in and taking over.
Notes: I've only seen series 5, 6, and 7 and just a handful of the rest of the eps, so grade on a curve. Takes place post-"Legion" and pre-"Stoke Me a Clipper." The title was taken from an Animaniacs bit.
This is a sequel to "Fic for the Dumped." Read that one first... Cuz I said, that's why. *g*
Warnings: Rated PG. Sappiness and... other stuff. ::giggling uncontollably::
Dedicated to Chris, the first male RDSS-er, and to Dervla cuz I love her and she helped me come up with *more* clichés. (10/05/01)
~*~~*~~*~
Justice
is Cross-eyed
by Poet
~*~
Rimmer opened the door to the quarters he still shared with Lister, and his ears were met with the sounds of a Hammond organ. The room was dark, but when he called for lights nothing happened.
And then suddenly the room was awash in the glow of candles. There were candles everywhere, covering every surface, save his bunk and the small table in the center of the room.
When his eyes finally fell upon his bed, Rimmer was astounded. His bed was a study in luxury; black satin sheets, a blood red velvet duvet, silver thread trimming everything. A single white rose was laying across his pillow. Rimmer crossed to his bunk and ran his fingertips over the soft satin.
"You're early."
Rimmer turned and stood agape, staring openly at his former lover. Lister was wearing a black tuxedo with a collarless white shirt. His tennis shoes had been spit-shined, and unless Rimmer was very much mistaken, Lister had in fact shampooed his hair. He was holding a second white rose. "Wha--wha--wha?" Rimmer croaked.
"That's my baby, articulate as ever," Lister said.
Rimmer searched for an appropriate response. "You've washed," he finally answered.
"Perceptive, as well." He crossed to place the rose in Rimmer's hand. "For you." Lister then moved to the table, pulling out one of the chairs and gesturing for Rimmer to sit. The hologram watched, dumbstruck, as his companion lifted the covers from the serving dishes to reveal Mimian bladderfish, oysters, and mashed potatoes.
"Really Listy, *oysters*?"
"Ya never know," he answered, shrugging.
They ate in silence for most of the meal, until Lister set aside the remains of his raspberry torte and focused on the hologram across the table. "Rimsy," he paused, taking a steadying breath, and then continued, "I'm just not myself without you."
"Really?" Rimmer asked, taking a leisurely sip of champagne and swallowing thoughfully. "You seem like the same slobbing hippy disgrace to the species you always were."
"I guess I deserve that," Lister finally replied, hanging his head.
"We finally agree on something!"
"Please Rimmer," Lister sighed, "I've missed you."
"Excuse me? You sleep barely two feet above me, Lister," Rimmer stated, feigning confusion. "How could you possibly miss me?"
"That's not what I mean," Lister mumbled miserably. "I'm lonely."
"You live on a ship the size of a tin can. There isn't enough room to be lonely."
"It's just... My bed seems so large without you in it," he continued as if he hadn't heard the hologram.
"Lister, I've seen caskets larger than your bunk." Rimmer replied, non-nonplussed.
"But Rimmer, man," Lister breathed, "don't you understand? You complete me." And then he stuck his bottom lip out in a little pout.
"Oh, for smeg's sake," Rimmer said, rolling his eyes. But he knew if he found that pout cute, he was well and truly defeated. And blast if he didn't think it was smeggin' adorable.
~*~
Rimmer awoke naked and feeling utterly satisfied with himself.
"Rimsy, you awake?"
"Mmm-hmm," he mumbled without opening his eyes.
"Did ya know I love you," the voice at his ear purred.
"Mmm, I love you, too, Listy."
"How much d'ya love me, Rimsy?"
"More than anything," he answered with complete confidence
"Really, Rimsy?"
"Really, Listy."
"Good."
Rimmer yawned and stretched leisurely, reaching out for his lover, only to find empty space. A lot of empty space. He finally lifted his heavy lids, and his eyes were met with star-spotted blackness. And then he saw Starbug. He was strapped, buck-naked except for a space-suit's helmet, to the rear end of Starbug.
"Lister, you fetid tuft of elderly inbred male baboon rectal pubic hair!!!"
"Aww... I love ya, too, Arn."
~*~
Please send any comments or feedback to Poet279@aol.com
:)