Introducing Mish
The Newest Member of SG13
by Mish, Kat, and Bryn



DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

SG-13 stepped through the event horizon and onto a desert planet. The wormhole closed behind them, but they just remained standing on the 'Gate platform, pouting.

"I can't believe George sent us on an actual mission, all by ourselves," Cara whined. "How boring is this going to be?"

"He said he couldn't let us stay on base anymore because all we did was get in trouble and annoy everyone there and he couldn't send us along with any other teams because we have a tendency to cause suicidal tendencies in anyone who spends an extended period of time with us. Therefore he said his only option was to send us on a mission and pray to God we would actually do something," Kat reminded them. They had all been at the briefing when the General had explained but through all the complaining it had been hard to hear everything.

"But why a desert? There's nobody here!" Cara complained.

"I think that was the idea, Cara," Becca suggested. "Yep. Took Sam and the MALP team 50 addresses before they found a planet barren and deserted enough for George. Supposedly there is absolutely no way we can get in trouble here," Bryn added.

"I gotta agree with Cara: Boring!" Becca said, kicking up a cloud of dust with her boot.

"I kinda like the desert fatigues though. I mean how cool is it that we match the planet?" Bryn smiled.

The other three members of SG-13 glared at her. Bryn just shrugged.

"So what time are we due back?" Cara asked.

"Um, we don't have one actually. George only gave us an amount of time we had to stay away," Becca replied.

"So how long do we have?" Kat asked.

"George begrudgingly said we could come back at nightfall, but that was only after I reminded him how cold it got at night on a desert planet and that it would take Cara half the day to pack for that," Bryn explained.

"Well, we might as well get our work done, then we can spend the rest of the time dialing home and sending notes through!" Cara grinned.

"What are we supposed to do anyway?" Becca asked.

"Mineral and Vegetation analysis," Bryn answered.

"Vegetation?!" Cara exclaimed. "What vegetation?"

All four girls stared out at the miles of endless dunes in front of them. "This may take longer than I thought," Bryn mumbled.

"There," Kat declared, pointing to a distant spot on the horizon. "I think I see something over there."

They all squinted. Then they moaned.

"That so better not be a waterbuffalo!" Becca said crossly.

"Only one way to find out," Bryn shrugged. "Let's move out!" She started down the stairs and the others followed.

"Hey! I'm the leader, that's MY line!" Cara complained.

"Whatever!" Bryn called out over her shoulder.

"I hate it here. It's hot. And I'm thirsty. Who has the water? Gimme the water!" Cara kept up a steady stream of complaints as they headed towards the smudge in the distance. "This sucks," she whined.

Becca and Bryn exchanged a glance. Cara always got like this when she had no one to annoy around.

"So have you guys ever actually gone on a field mission by yourselves before?" Kat asked, trying to tune Cara out. "'Cause all we ever seem to do is hang around the base and bug people."

Bryn shrugged. "We like bugging people," she said simply.

"You know, George is going to get a piece of my mind when we get ba-HEY!!!" Cara spit out a mouthful of sand. She was lying facedown in a dune. "What did I trip on?" she demanded.

They had reached the bush. "Uh… a person," Becca replied.

"WHAT??"

There was someone sleeping under the bush, an Indiana-Jones-hat obscuring his or her face.

"What do we do?" Bryn asked. "I mean, George said this planet was deserted."

"Well he or she is under the only bush around and we need that bush if we every want to finish this stupid mission, so I say we find out who it is," Kat said. Peering under the bush she called out, "Hey! You awake?"

"What the sith do you want?" came the very irritated and groggy reply.

"Ya know, it might be a little late to mention this now, but what if that had been a Goa'uld or something?" Becca asked.

Bryn shrugged. "You live and learn."

The Indiana-Jones-hat wearing person had climbed out from under the bush and was now standing before them. She was blond, not too tall, and pretty ticked.

"Hey, someone intelligent!" Kat grinned upon seeing her.

"What makes you assume that?" Cara asked.

"She's our age," Kat replied. "I'm Kat, that's Bryn, Becca and Cara. Who are you?"

"I'm Mish, and what's the meaning of waking me up from my nap?"

"Sorry, Cara tripped over you," Bryn explained.

"What are you doing here, Mish? We thought this planet was deserted," Becca asked.

"I am on a mission to search the galaxy for Ton and Face!" Mish declared.

Cara leaned over to Bryn and asked, "Who and who?"

"I have no idea! Could it be possible she's crazier than us?" Bryn pondered. She scrunched her brow up in confusion the same way Danny does, but for some reason it never looked as cute on her as it did on him.

"Bryn this is *us* we're talking about! Nobody's crazier than us!" Cara scolded.

"True enough, but then why is she looking for a face?" Bryn asked.

"Not *a* face! The Face!! And Ton!" Mish exclaimed.

"Ton Phanan?" Kat asked.

Mish turned to her. "You know him?" she asked excitedly.

"Ton Phanan, pilot, wit, and Superior Intellect? Of course I know him. I dated him for a while," Kat replied off-handedly.

"What about the Face?"

"Didn't he get killed? Oh, no, wait, just scarred. I remember now."

The three girls from Earth looked rather confused. "Who are you talking about?" Bryn asked.

"You wouldn't have heard of them," Kat told her. She turned back to Mish. "They're from Earth."

The new girl nodded, as if that explained everything. "So what are you all doing here?"

"Being punished," Bryn mumbled.

"We're part of a group of people who explore the universe through the Stargates. We seek out new life and new civilizations, boldly go where no one has gone before!" Cara said, raising her finger melodramatically and starting in on 'speech mode.'

"Cara! Shut up!" Bryn, Becca, and Kat said in unison.

"You're exploring the universe, and you came here?" Mish asked.

"George made us," Cara muttered. "We didn't get a choice."

"Who's George?" Mish asked. "And why does he order you around?"

"He's the General," Kat explained. "So why are you here looking for Ton and Face? Shouldn't you be Storinal or somewhere?"

"I was just there, but I got attacked by the Glass Prowlers."

Kat and Mish looked ready to start a conversation that no one would understand, when Becca asked, "So where are you going from here?"

Mish shrugged. "Nowhere in particular. Why?"

"Wanna come to Earth with us?"

"Are we allowed to bring back another alien?" Bryn asked. "I mean, remember how mad he was when we brought Kat home? And she's an ambassador!"

"An ambassador who want to take over the world," Cara said under her breath.

"Shut up!" Kat exclaimed.

"Besides, he's already mad at us, why not tick him off a little more?" Becca asked.

"Hey Mish, we'll take you to all the worlds we encounter and help you look for Ton and Face if you help us in our mission," Bryn proposed.

"This sounds acceptable to Mish," Mish replied. "What is your mission?"

"To get Sam and Jack and Daniel and Janet together, to annoy the Tok'ra, to harass everyone on base… Am I missing anything?" Bryn asked.

"To take over the world?" Kat suggested.

"That's your mission, silly!" Bryn told her.

"Oh, right. So, whaddya say?" Kat asked. "Please come with us. George looks really funny when he's mad. He's bald, and his whole head goes red and sort of swells up… it's great."

"Except you have to promise not to go after Daniel," Becca said. "He's really hot, but he's Janet's."

"Mish will come with you," Mish declared.

"Great! Let's go!" Cara said, turning toward the Stargate.

"Uh, Cara? Aren't you forgetting something?" Becca asked.

"Like what?"

"We still have to finish the mission," Bryn reminded her, gesturing towards the bush.

"Oh, drat," Cara moped. "I hate doing boring things!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

By about the third note, which said "I see dead people," General Hammond said SG-13 could come home. Of course when the iris opened and five girl instead of four walked through, her thought about sending them back.

"Hey, George!" Cara yelled, gleefully. She waved up at the Control room where the General stood.

"Look what followed us home, can we keep her? We promise to feed her and play with her and take real good care of her!" Bryn smiled sweetly.

"Who the hell is that?" General Hammond demanded, wondering how SG-13 could have managed to get into trouble on a deserted planet full of nothing but sand.

"This is Mish. She's our new alien friend," Becca explained. "She's looking for Ton and Face and we don't know who they are but Kat does so we figure it's okay."

"Can we go have our post-mission physical now?" Kat asked sweetly.

"You just want to go to the infirmary to see if Dr. Jackson is there!" Hammond accused. He knew how SG-13 thought… sometimes.

"This is the SGC, or as we like to refer to it, our place of torture," Becca explained as SG-13 escorted Mish done the corridors towards the Infirmary.

Mish whistled sarcastically (which is a rather an interesting sound, but Mish pulled it off well). "Nice. Really... homey. I like what you've done to the place . . . Really gone out to town with the interior decorators... Can I have a green uniform too?"

"Sure, but we usually wear blue we like it better," Bryn commented. They turned the corner and walked into the Infirmary. "Hey Janet! Miss us?"

Janet looked up as the girls walked in. She didn't even try to hide her groan. "I thought you girls weren't allowed back for another few hours," Janet grumbled.

"Evidently George didn't like the notes we were sending back," Kat replied.

"Serves him right for thinking we couldn't annoy him from another planet!" Cara added.

Janet gave them all the post mission check-ups, and did a couple more tests on Mish to make sure she wasn't a Goa'uld, didn't have a time-bomb inside her, didn't have two fake teeth or anything that could might or would destroy the entire world. Throughout this Mish was rather patient, or so she thought. She kept muttering something about getting a 'Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster' when this was all done, or something. Janet wasn't really paying attention. Janet figured that if she paid attention to SG-13's mental health as well as their physical health, she'd be there for a while.

"So," Mish asked when she was all checked out and given the A-OK - unfortunately not by a red rubber stamp on the head like in the cartoons, though - "What do I get to do now? Can I have a groovy uniform? Do I get to meet any cute blokes?"

"Cute blokes? Well there was Kawalski, but they just had to go kill him off …" Bryn complained. "There's Graham! We haven't bugged him in a while."

"Oh good idea," Cara agreed. "We can do another raid of the control room, see what other stuff we can mess around with."

Just then Daniel walked in, looking for Janet. He stopped when he saw SG-13 and thought about fleeing in terror, but he realized they and Janet had already seen him.

"Hey, he's kinda cute," Mish said.

"Ah yes," Becca replied, dreamily. "Unfortunately he's taken."

"Ah, taken by her?" Mish asked, indicating Janet, who had become increasingly happy ever since Daniel showed up.

"Ah ha! See? Even Mish sees it! I told you we weren't projecting!!" Bryn exclaimed triumphantly.

"Dammit," Kat said gloomily. "He really loves me, you know. I'm the only one who can truly share his coffee obsession."

"She's delusional," Becca whispered in an aside to Mish. "Totally obsessed with him. It's actually pretty funny."

"Right." Mish said, "Should Mish be making notes, do you think?"

"Couldn't hurt," Bryn told her. "So now that everyone's satisfied that you're not a Goa'uld, want to go harass Sam and Jack with us?"

Mish looked a tad confused, "I thought we were going to go harrass some dude called 'Graham' - which is a funky name. How do you shorten that - Gray? Ham? Ayham"

"Hammie?" Kat offered.

"No, that should be for George!" Becca replied.

"Think he'd like it?" Cara asked.

"Do we care?" Kat retorted. "Okay, so we need to harass all of them... who first?"

Mish shrugged, "Whoever. Who's single?"

Becca laughed, "Mish, are you sure your mission isn't to just get attached to the first single guy you meet?"

"I wouldn't go for that General guy, if that's what your asking."

"We'd worry about you if you did," Bryn commented.

"Why do you want a single guy anyway? I thought you were looking for Ton and Face?" Kat seemed confuzzled, which was quite common for her.

"I am looking for Ton and Face." Mish said, "But looking at cute guys in uniform can't hurt, can it?"

"This is true," Kat said. "Very true."

"Ya see, Mish can use logic. Sometimes." Mish replied.

"So, are we going to go harass someone now?" Cara looked impatient.

"Yeah. Mish, you're the new person, you can decide who we harass," Becca said magnanimously.

Mish shrugged.

"Well, if you're into cute guys in uniform, we could go bug Graham," Kat decided. "Where is he going to be?"

~~~~~~

Graham Simmons looked up from his work, seeing four familiar young people walking down the corridor. Uh-oh, he thought, Must . . . hide . . . SG-13. Then he did a double-take, as there were actually five young people.

Hmm, well, Graham figured, it can't be SG-13 then. Besides, he'd heard that General Hammond sent them off to some desert deserted planet.

Graham got back to work.

SG-13 went up to Graham. "Hi!" Bryn said with a big smile.

"Umm… hi." He wondered if ignoring them would make them go away. He doubted it.

"This is Mish," Kat introduced him. "She's our new member."

"Hi, Mish." Graham acted really engrossed in his work.

"Hi Graham. Can I call you 'Gray'?" Mish asked. She truthfully just wanted to see his face, because she thought men in uniform were pretty cute, and if his uniform was anything to go by, she wanted to see his eyes.

He looked up at her. "Must you?" he asked. She almost melted at the sight of his darling puppydogeyes.

"...I do..." Mish said automatically, then caught herself. "Uh, well, if you don't like it I guess I could call you something else."

"That's not how you do it," Becca muttered to Bryn.

Bryn shrugged. "She's new at this. She'll learn."

Mish turned to them. "Hey, he's cute, okay?!"

"Amateur harrasser," Kat muttered.

"There is no reply to that," Mish answered in monotone.

"Come on, let's go find Sam and Jack," Cara suggested. "Maybe that would be a better way for Mish to start harassing people."

"But . . . He's cute!" Mish objected.

"We know," Becca said with a sigh. "Come on."

"Later, Gray!" Mish said.

"Hmm?" Graham looked up from his work for a moment more. He was feeling very relieved at the prospect of being left alone. "Yeah, sure."

Mish grinned. "Allllright."

Kat looked at her sharply.

"What?"

© Kat, Mish, and Bryn 2001

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