Payback
by Becca
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of
MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction
was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on
copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and
places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real
persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
General Hammond looked up as SG-1 and Janet trooped into his office. They all
wore expressions of varying degrees of annoyance and anger.
"What can I do for you today?" he asked, wanting to get whatever they wanted
over and done with so he could go back to filling in one of the GTKY survey's
that had been travelling around the base lately.
"Well for starters you could put court martial SG-13!" Jack exclaimed, his face
being one of the angriest.
George sighed, and gave up all thoughts of getting the GTKY done anytime soon.
"What have they done *this* time?"
"Wrote an e-mail from me to Jack!" Sam exclaimed.
"Wrote an e-mail from me to Janet!" Danny exclaimed just as fast.
"I see…" said George, who really didn't. "And what did these e-mails say?"
"Well uh…" Sam started.
"Um…" Daniel said hesitantly.
"Shall we say it was one of those GTKY surveys…and they said a few…" Jack said.
"Erm, things that are a direct violation of the non-frat regulations?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, that's it," Jack replied.
"I see…" George said again, and he really did see this time. "And what did you
want me to do about it? You understand of course, that I cannot court martial
them…"
"Perhaps, what you term 'pay-back' might work here?" asked Teal'c who had until
this moment, remained silent.
"Yeah!" Jack, Danny, Sam and Janet exclaimed.
"Perfect!" Sam added.
"We wouldn't do anything *too* bad…" Janet pointed out.
"Just a little pay-back for what they've done to us?" Jack pleaded.
"Well I'm not sure if I can condone this…" George said thoughtfully.
"Please?" Daniel asked, turning on his puppydog eyes.
"Oh alright…" George said, and everyone else immediately grinned and started
thinking about how to pay SG-13 back. "Providing of course…" Everyone turned
back to him, and their faces fell a little.
"Providing that I get to help!" George looked expectantly at them.
"Glad to have you on our side, Sir!" Jack said. "Now lets start planning!"
SG-1 and Janet all pulled up chairs, and Jack locked the door to prevent SG-13
barging in. "Now I was thinking…"
Unbeknownst to them, SG-13 had been playing in the air ducts again and had heard
every word, and were now listening to their plans, trying desperately not to
giggle.
**********
"Hey Janet!" Becca shouted as she bounced through the door to the infirmary.
"Whassup?"
The rest of SG-13 followed her in, looking very tired with Becca's hyperactivity.
"Becca…I'll give you a cookie if you stop bouncing and go make us coffee…"
Bryn wheedled.
"And I'll give you some liquorice tea!" Kat added, sweetening the deal.
"OK!" Becca said brightly, and ran over to Janet's office and started making
everyone coffee with the brand new coffee maker Janet had brought after SG-13
had *accidentally* broken the other one by hooking it up to the naquada reactor
during a power cut.
"I only keep her around because she's cute and easy to bribe," Bryn said to
Janet. Becca turned around for a few seconds and poked her tongue out at Bryn.
"Now what did you want us for?" she asked, ignoring Becca.
Janet turned around, her eyes solemn. "Girls…I'm afraid that your latest
physicals…show some disturbing results," she said, with a choked voice so it
sounded like she was trying not to cry, when in reality she was just trying not
to burst into hysterical laughter at the expressions on SG-13's collective faces.
She passed out a sheaf of paper to each of them, and pulled a sad smile.
"I'm sorry…"
SG-13 immediately looked at the papers, and gasped.
"What's this mean?" Cara asked, as she wasn't well-versed in medical language.
"Mish does not understand!" Mish said with a cute confused look on her face that
Face and Phanan would have loved, had they been around (and they weren't since
Mish hadn't found them yet.)
Janet brushed a well timed tear out of the corner of her eye. "I'm afraid…"
"Oh just say it!" Becca said, as he came back from Janet's office with a tray of
coffees.
"You…you have cancer." Janet said quietly. "I don't know if it's a side-effect
of 'Gate travel, or something you picked up on one of your recently visited
planets…"
Becca dropped the tray of coffee. "NOOOOO!!!"
"I'm too young to die!!! This isn't fair!!!" Cara yelled, her arms up to the
ceiling. "Oh cruel God! Why must you torment us so?!"
Bryn whisperd to Cara "Don't Jews have a different name for your God?"
"Oh well," Cara whispered back.
"Mish dying is Imperial Propaganda!!!" Mish yelled, as everyone stared at her.
After all this time, they still didn't know who the 'Imperials' were.
"What? It is!!! Just like Chapter 12 of Iron Fist!!!" Kat nodded at that, since
she totally agreed with Mish about that being Imperial Propaganda.
"I'm too cute to die!" Becca shouted. "If anyone should die it should be Joe or
Anise!!!" Everyone wondered who Joe was, but nodded about the Anise bit.
"I can't die! There is still so much Danny stalking to do!!!" Kat sobbed.
At that point, Jack came in. Everyone who had been at the plotting of this plan
had agreed that only Jack should go to see the girls' reactions in person (of
course, the others were in the Security Room watching the whole thing.) since
he had the best poker face after Janet.
"What's up? Why the long faces?" he asked nonchalantly.
Bryn immediately ran over to him and clung t the front of his jacket. "I can't
die!!! Who will look after Darth?! Jack?! You'll look after Darth won't you? He
needs someone to feed him and play with him. He doesn't take much looking after…"
Jack immediately detached Bryn from his jacket, and since the only way he could
do this was to take off his jacket, he did, leaving Bryn crying into the front
of, what used to his, jacket.
"Uh…Janet? Have they finally, totally lost it?" he asked with a slightly scared
look on his face.
Janet turned to the members of SG-13, who were at this point all crying and
hugging each other. Uh…SG-13? Why don't you go to your Rec Room/Lab, and talk
about this…I really think it might help…"
SG-13 all nodded slowly, and walked slowly out of the infirmary and down the
corridor.
Jack grinned, although it was slightly scared still. "It worked?"
Janet grinned too. "Amazingly! They totally brought it!"
They headed up to the Security Room so that they could watch what SG-13 would
do now in the relative safety of their Rec Room/Lab, with the George and the
rest of SG-1.
Upon their arrival, they found everyone but Teal'c and George rolling around in
the floor in laughter.
"Oh that was *good*!" Danny grinned. "They totally fell for it!"
"So what are they doing now?" Janet asked. Everyone crowded around the monitor
again, and watched SG-13 drink coffee and look depressed.
After a while this got boring, so they transferred the security feed to the
George's office and went about their business, trusting George to let them know
if anything interesting happened.
**********
"SG-1 to the General's office! SG-1 to the General's office!" the loud speaker
blared. SG-1 looked up from their plates, as they were in the commissary eating
lunch, and immediately went to George's office.
"General! Anything new?" Jack asked.
"Well…they're running around gathering up stuff, I'm not quite sure why, but it
is interesting seeing what they're getting," George grinned.
"What stuff are they getting?" Sam asked, curiosity getting the better of her.
"So far, there's been a lot of chairs, a table, quite a lot of food, some rope,
some odds and ends I can't pick out from here…" George replied. "Any ideas what
they're doing?"
"None whatsoever," Jack replied after a bit of thought.
"Neither," Danny and Sam chorused.
"General Hammond," Teal'c said, after moving to a position he could see the TV
screen from. "I believe you should add some kind of wild animal to that list."
"What?" Jack exclaimed.
"It appears to be a furry, white creature…" Teal'c started.
"It's a sheep, Teal'c." General Hammond said. "What do they want with a sheep?"
"Beats me," Jack said, as Daniel moved closer to the screen.
"In some cultures…" he started.
"No, Danny-Boy!" Jack warned.
"But this is really quite interesting…" Danny protested. "And it *might* be an
explanation…"
"NO!" Jack yelled.
"An explanation of what exactly, Dr Jackson?" George asked.
"Of what they're doing of course!" Danny exclaimed as if it should be obvious.
"Then please…continue," George said, leaning back in his chair.
"I was just going to say…" Danny said with a glares in Jack's direction.
"That in some cultures, they believed that a living sacrifice would prevent imminent death."
"Uh oh…" Sam said. "You don't think…" Just then, Cara produced a book of
matches, and headed towards the sheep, which was tied to the table, in the
middle of chairs.
"Uh, General?" Jack asked. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get back at
SG-13…"
"Get down there are stop them, Colonel!" George yelled.
SG-1 didn't bother saying anything, s they fled down to the lower level SG-13's
Rec Room/Lab was on, with Janet hot on their heels.
**********
"They moving yet, Becca?" Bryn asked, turning to the aformentioned person who
was sitting in front of the TV which was hooked up to the security camera in
George's office.
"Yup…George just threw a fit and they're running down here as we speak!" Becca
exclaimed happily.
"Right everyone!" Cara yelled. "Final places!"
"Yeah, yeah," they all grumbled as Cara went into her 'take-charge' mode.
Cara started calling out to all the 'vengeful gods'. "Oh Vengeful Ones! Accept
this sacrifice, in your honor! We hope you can find it in your mighty hearts to
forgive us for our wrongs!"
SG-1 heard all of this speech as they ran down the final corridor to the Rec
Room/Lab.
"STOP!" Jack yelled in his best 'scare-the-airmen-stupid' voice.
"No, Jack!" Cara yelled.
"We don't want to die!" Becca yelled.
"Yeah!" Kat added.
"Imperial Propaganda!" Mish yelled. "They're in on it too!!!"
Everyone gasped, and moved away except for Cara, who stood poised to strike the
match that would end the sheep's life, and 'save' SG-13.
"You don't understand!" Sam yelled. "You're not going to die!"
"It was all a practical joke!" Danny yelled.
SG-13 stared at them.
"Don't you get it? It was a *joke* J…O…K…E! Joke!" Jack exclaimed.
SG-13 immediately grasped the concept, and glared furiously at SG-1 and Janet.
"Get out!" Cara growled in a scary menacing voice no-one had heard her use before.
SG-1 started getting quite scared, and backed out the door.
After they turned the corner, they ran for it back to the George's office.
"General!" Jack cried out as soon as they reached George's office.
"What?" George asked in confusion.
SG-1 and Janet started trying to catch their breath, and Sam succeeded first.
"Um…they didn't take it well, Sir…" she said hesitantly.
"GeneralHammond," Teal'c said.
"Yes, Teal'c?"
"I believe that SG-13 may have taken it better then expected." He said,
gesturing at the TV screen.
"SG-1 and Janet immediately crowded around the screen again, and stood gaping
at the scene they saw before them.
"Major Carter, can the camera provide us with audio?" George asked after a minute.
"Maybe…" she said as she moved around to the back of the TV and fiddled for a
few minutes. Suddenly the sound of laughter filled the room. "Ah there we go!"
she said with a grin.
"Why are they laughing?" Janet asked.
Everyone looked at each other, but no-one provided an answer, so they turned
their attention back to the screen to find out.
Back in the Rec Room/Lab:
"I can't *believe* they didn't figure out we knew!!!" Bryn exclaimed.
"Well ya know…even the smartest of people are stupid!" Kat said with a giggle.
"We have *got* to start crawling around the air ducts of this place more often!"
Cara exclaimed.
Everyone nodded at that, then started giggling again.
Back in George's office:
"They…*knew*?!" Jack exclaimed.
"Apparently so, O'Neill," Teal'c replied.
"Um…what happens if they want payback?" Danny asked hesitantly.
George glared. "This is the *last* time I listen to any of your bright plans on
what to do with SG-13, Colonel! Now *out* of my office!"
SG-1 and Janet scrambled for the door, leaving George alone to do what they had
interrupted him in doing when they had first outlined their plans for SG-13.
George glared at the TV screen which still showed SG-13 rolling about on the
floor laughing, then turned it off.
Opening up his e-mail, he continued writing his response to the GTKY survey,
making sure to put down on it that the worst feeling is having tried to outwit
some teenage girls and failing. (It all being Colonel O'Neill's fault of course!)
© Becca 2001
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