-Damnit, Deacon Frost groaned.
-Whatīs up Deac? Quinn, Frostīs not-so-bright-but-sadistic-enough-to-be-a-good-vampire best friend and right hand asked.
-QUINN! Donīt call me that, it sounds too much like geek, Frost exclaimed. Iīm not going around calling you Queen, now am I?
-Ok, sorry Deac...on. Phew, good save man.
-The preparations for the Apocalypse of the human race is not going as well as planned, Deacon finally answered the big vampires question.
Damn, I knew I should have looked that word up the first time he said it, Quinn thought.
-So what do you think? Deacon suddenly asked.
-Uhum, Quinn got the feeling he had missed something now.
-Well? Frost said.
-Well, you know, yeah, uhum, sure, I think.
-WHAT! Frost exclaimed. You believe Dragonetti is right?
-Oh, no no no no, that was not what I...
-Well what did you...Frost interrupted Quinn but was interrupted by Mercury himself.
-Whatīs up? Whatīs all the screaming for? she asked in a cheerful manner and threw herself on one of the couches.
-Hey honey, Deacon said in his sweetest voice, it just dawned on him he had cheated on her again last night and was scared shit she would find out.
Quinn sat across the table from them both with a phoney smile styúck on his face. Mercury suddenly got up and walked over to a whole figure mirror on the wall. After ten minutes of posing she exclaimed;
-God, I really need to do something about myself.
-Maybe you should work on your tan, Quinn suggested.
She fired of an evil smile at him.
-Hey red-head, they are auditioning for the new Addams Family movie. Maybe you should have your hand cut off again and try put it up for the part as the Thing, she retaliated.
-Excuse me but there are a lot of heroes out there who had their arm cut off.
-Like who?
Quinn thought about it for a moment.
-Captain Hook, he then said.
-Heīs not a hero!
-He is too!
-Not. Name someone else, Mercury demanded.
Quinn desperately tried to think of another arm-less hero. Mercury sensed victory.
-Ha, there is none you...
-Luke Skywalker, Deacon cut in.
They both looked at him, surprised he was taking part in their conversation.
-Ha, see, told you. Hero, arm-less, Quinn was waving his newly grown out arm in the air infront of Mercury.
-Yeah yeah, she said.
-I actually always thought we were very much alike, Quinn said.
-What? Mercury could hardly believe her ears. Except for the arm thing you have nothing in common.
-We have too! She was really pissing Quinn of now.
-Not. Luke was charming, intelligent, cute and...
-I always thought he was a sissy, Frost cut in again.
-Well that sounds like Quinn, Mercury laughed.
-I always thought Darth Vader was way cooler, Frost said.
-Yeah, the two other vampires agreed.
Suddenly officer Krieger stumbled through the door.
-Frost, I have some really bad news, he said wondering if Deacon ever had heard the expression " donīt shoot the messenger ".
-WHAT! Deacon threw the police officer into the nearest wall when he heard the news.
-Thatīs what I heard Frost, I just thought I should tell you.
-Where is Blade now? Frost wanted to know.
-Temple of Eternal Night.
They were all squeezed in to Deaconīs Porche. Mercury and Krieger were virtually sitting in Quinnīs lap.
-Fucking bitch, Frost muttered. Who does he think he is. Iīm the one who should awaken La Magra, not him. Not him.
-So whatīs the plan Deac? Quinn asked and Frost gave him an evil eye.
-...on, Quinn filled in as he remembered their conversation earlier that night.
-We go over there and kick his well trained muscley little ass to the moon.
The three passengers stared at him.
-Well not that I have noticed, Deacon defended himself.
They were still staring at him not knowing what on earth he was talking about.
-The ass part, he screamed then deeply regretted he had opened his mouth in the first place.
I should have said " rip is throat " or something instead, he thought.
-Are you sure that plan will work? Mercury asked sceptically.
-Why shouldnīt it? Frost felt a bit offended she questioned his authority.
-Because that is always the plan and we always end up getting our butts kicked, she explained.
Hm, good point.
-Well miss know-it-all-and-piss-the-hell-outta-her-boyfriend, what should we do then?
-We blow the place up, she said, proud of herself.
That makes sense.
-Hello, do you remember what happened the last time we tried to blow something up? Quinn asked.
Hm, excellent point. Deacon thought as the memory came back to him.
-What should we do then? he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown now.
-Maybe we could just ask him to leave? Quinn suggsted.
-Hm, yeah, Deacon thought about it. It did not sound to bad to him.
-Yeah, Mercury agreed.
-Cough-cough-wimps-cough.
-What was that? Deacon asked Kriger who was the one who made the statement above.
-Look, he needs twelve members of the Council, right?
-Yeah, Deacon wasnīt sure where Krieger was heading with this one.
-So just rescue one of them and he wonīt be able to go through with this.
-That would make us look way cooler than if we just asked him to leave, Mercury pointed out.
-Yeah, Deacon and Quinn agreed.
-So who should we rescue? she asked. How about von Esper?
-No way, Quinn exclaimed. Pallentine?
-Nooooo! Mercury groaned. Dragonetti?
-NOOOO! Deacon screamed in a high-pitched voice.
-Then who?
They all thought about it really hard for a moment.
-How about that woman with the ugly hairdo? Mercury finally said.
-Hm, yeah, ok, Frost said.
-Whatīs her name again? Mercury asked.
-Dunno.
-Dunno.
-So whatīs the plan for the rescue? Krieger was almost afraid to ask.
-We go in and kick Bladeīs a... uhum, rip Bladeīs throat, Frost answered.
-Or we could ask him to just give her to us, Quinn said.
-We blow the place up, Mercury still liked that plan.
Krieger sighed. How the fuck did these people manage to almost take over the world once?
-Quinn, you go get the girl. Mercury, Frost and I will distract Blade, Krieger was now in charge since none of the others seemed capable enough to lead this operation. We meet at the entrance.
Quinn disappeared and the others started climbing up the stairs. They soon ran into Karen.
-Where do ya think ya goinī? she asked.
-We are on our way to wreck your boyfriends plan, Mercury told her.
-Whatcha gonna do ībout it?
-We wonīt let him go through with it.
-Awakening some pathetic blood god? Let him have his fun, Karen said and rolled her eyes.
Deacon felt like he had to say something to defend La Magra.
-Hey sister, heīs not pathetic, heīs a hurricane, an act of G...he began.
-NOOOOO! Karen screamed and covered her ears. Not that speech again, please. I canīt stand it. If I hear it one more time Iīm gonna puke. I swear, Iīm not kidding, I will really throw up.
-Whatever, Deacon snarled, he liked that speech, he had put a lot of time into it.
-Lets just get her, Mercury, who was getting bored, said.
Five minutes later they were dragging Karen behind them.
-Blade will get ya so badly this time Frost, she screamed.
-Please Deacon, canīt we just kill her, Mercury begged.
-I second that, Krieger said.
-No I have other plans for her, Frost said.
-What? Mercury wanted to know.
-Well, lets just say I am a romantic, Deacon answered.
-What the hell does that mean?
-You just have to wait and see.
-Hey guys, I got her, Quinn suddenly appeared infront of them.
-Quinn, who the fuck is this, you were supposed to get the one with the ugly hairdo.
Fuck, Iīm surrounded by morons, Deacon thought.
-But it is the one with the ugly hairdo, Quinn defended himself.
-Well yeah, but itīs the wrong one, Deacon had to admit Quinn had a point.
-For godīs sake, it doesnīt matter, letīs just get the hell out of here, Krieger shouted from where he was standing further down the hall.
Another good point.
-I just have to take care of Karen.
They all groaned and moaned but followed Deacon.
-So whatīs up with Blade? Quinn asked Karen. I thought he was supposed to save mankind not make vampires of the whole human race.
-Well he doesnīt mind since they all have to obey him since he will be their god, Karen explained.
-Haha, did you here that Frost? How stupid can he be? Everyone will become gods sweetheart. Not just your little boyfriend. Right Deac...on?
-Uhum, um, yeah, whatever.
-Well, we would if you hadnīt screwed up the whole awakening thing right? Quinn continued.
-Oh shut up Quinn. Deacon stopped. Ok here it is.
Karen moaned.
-Ya are not gonna throw me down that hole again are ya?
Frost didnīt answer, he just pushed her and turned around and walked out of the Temple of Eternal Night.
-Karen? Curtis Webb asked, he didnīt expect to see her down there again.
-Curtis? Karen was glad to see him. Maybe she would stay this time. She liked Curtis and she had had enough of Blade by now. He never had time for her. When they first started dating he had always been busy hunting down vampires and killing them. Now when he was going for world domination he would have even less time for her. No, she just might stay down here.
Deacon and the rest of his crew were standing outside the temple. He was playing with his car keys.
-Where the fuck is Quinn, he asked the others.
-Right here Deac, the red haired vampire showed up by the entrance to the temple.
-Get in the car Queen.
-Hey Deacon, donīt you think Krieger has showed himself worthy of becoming one of us? Mercury asked.
-Well, yeah, I guess you are right.
-Eh, you know what, I just remember I canīt join you right now because...because..., Krieger turned around and ran for it. No fucking way, he screamed as he disappeared in to the streets.
-What was that all about? Mercury asked.
-Who knows, Frost said and shook his head.
Blade was confused. The awakening had not gone according to plans.
Damnit, he thought, it looked so cool when Frost did this.
The End