| Yaten No Omoi Chapter 2 Omoidashitakunakatta -I didn't want to Remember- Thank you all for all the positive feedback. ^_~ I read all of them and tried to incorporate suggestions in this chapter. ^^ This chapter deals with Yaten's past and his trust dilemma. The flashbacks are from Yaten's past. The present and the past interchange and he gets flashbacks of his childhood on kinmoku. It might be a little confusing, but bear with me. ^___^ (please? Hehe) Oh, and for all of you who are wondering. Most of my story is based on the anime, but some might be slightly based on the manga. And towards the end of this chapter, I'm sure you will recognize the scenes from the anime, when Taiki and Yaten tied to obtain the incense burner from Chibi Chibi. Omoidashitakunakatta - I didn't want to remember senshi - sailor soldier Ne - a way of getting someone's attention, or just a fragment that is put in front of a sentence when talking to someone. Tsuki no Princess - Princess of the Moon Disclaimer : I don't own Sailormoon. All characters are owned by Naoko Takeuchi and the big company people. ^^;; Just writing a fic because I love her story. Please don't sue me. ^_^ ******* ************ [flashback] "Mother?" "Mother, don't you want me to be with you?" "Don't you want me to be your daughter?" "Don't you love me?" [flashback ends] *********** ****************** "ten?" "Yaten!?" "...what?" "Are you ready?" "...." Taiki placed a hand on his temples. "We need to make a visit to the high school today, have you forgotten?" "Not..yet." "Try to hurry." *********** ********** "Well it's a shame that you guys wont be able to be attending school as much as we had planned on." "My apologies, we had intended on attending school on a regular basis but.." "No need to explain. We understand, you guys are at a busy stage in your career." "Thank you for your understanding. We all wanted to continue our classes. We will have a private tutor with us, so we will try not to be late in our studies." "We hope not." "Thank you again for your concern." "We will be expecting you back at our school soon." ****** *********** "Why'd we have to come all the way over to the school, we could've just asked our manager to call them." Yaten yawned as they walked through the halls of their school. "Matters like these should be handled in person." Taiki answered as he sorted through the documents, the principal had given them."It is a shame we are going to be missing studies." He added as they stopped to look into their classroom. "Taiki." Yaten had a sweat drop. "You and your studies." "It really is a shame. I wish we could attend school." Seiya added longingly as he scanned the room. "But, it is a good decision. We need to keep our distance from these earth senshi." Yaten said automately with almost no emotion in his voice. Not knowing if he really meant it, but he felt he had to say it. He had to... Seiya looked at the two. And so Taiki and Seiya began to bicker. Usually he would be included in the debate, but not today. And so their voices began to fade out. And then he felt a warmth. A light. "I forgot something, Ill catch up with you guys later." "Huh? Yaten..." He followed the light. Down the halls. Up the stairs. And he found himself on the roof of the school. "To my beloved, Mamochan, how are you? I hope everything is well. I am...doing fine. Annual testing has started, and I am, well, dealing. Lately, so much has been happening, I wish you were here, maybe it wouldn't be as difficult then." She took a breath and as if she had lifted a great strength of courage and continued with her letter. "Why haven't you been giving me any replies? I know you're busy, but when you have time.. Sometimes I feel like - " She took a pause, and thought for a moment. She took her pencil and erased the last few sentences of her letter. "No replies?" He commented in a mocking tone. Usagi looked angrily at Yaten as she clumsily slid the paper under her school papers. "What, what do you want?" Her defensive features loosened. "You guys came today." "Actually, we came to announce that we wouldn't be attending as much." He could tell by her expression that she was disappointed. "Oh, well you guys do have busy lives." "Why do you even care?" He asked as if wanting to challenge the girl. But he *really* wanted to ask if she was okay, if it was okay for her to be attending school, after she had caught such a cold. But he didn't, he couldn't.. "Because I wanted to spend more time with you guys." She looked up to meet his eyes. "And I know we could understand each other if - -" "You shouldn't care for people... You're wasting your time." He paused. "You're too trusting." He glanced at her. "For instance, that guy," His eyes looked to the letter she had written. "How do you know he isn't cheating on you?" She looked down at the half written letter that was revealed by the mess of her papers. "Because I trust him." [flashback] "Ne, Mother, today the kids in my class wouldn't let me play softball with them. They said I wasn't the kind to be playing softball." "They are right Ayame." "But." "You are a senshi in training, you have no time for those things." "But mother.." [flashback ends] Trust. To trust someone. These were the kind of words that always came out of *her* mouth. The kind of words that had come out of Sailormoon's mouth when they had first met. That is why he hated Sailormoon. To trust, the words of someone who has never been hurt. [flashback] "Ne, Mother, why did Daddy leave?" "Ne Mother," "Are you crying?" "Why are you crying?" "Does your tummy hurt?" "I'm sorry, Please don't cry." "We don't need a father." "We don't, really." "See, I'm a big girl." "I can protect you." "So, please don't cry." [flashback ends] "Trust?" "Yes, I trust him." "I trust Reichan, Makochan, Amichan, Minakochan." Her smile grew as she went on. "Harukasan, Michirusan, Setsunsan, Hotaruchan. And I trust you also." She looked up at the expression his face held. "And Seiya and Taikisan." "Why?" He asked in a bored tone. "Because we hold a common goal. To protect our own galaxies, our people." "How do you know we are not your enemies, that we have been lying to you?" He tried to find something. She stood up and placed the papers down on the ground beneath her. And walked towards the young man that stood a few feet away from herself. She placed a hand on his chest. "Why wouldn't I? Your heart is beating just like everyone else." Something.. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him. "How can you trust someone you don't even know?" Something to show that she wasn't all that pure. All that caring... "Its not the time you know someone, its how much you look into them." Her eyes narrowed, as if accepting his challenge. "I had heard that the Tsuki no Princess was a caring being." He paused. "But I was never told she was so naive." "You act as if you don't know *how* to trust, but you trust Taiki and Seiya." She examined the side of his face. "and your princess." But he could find nothing. "I do." He took a long look at the buildings that lined the streets of Tokyo. "The Princess is everything." "Everything?" "The Princess and the Starlights are the only thing I have. I fight for the Princess." He let go of her hand in vain. "And once we find her, once we find her, were going to go back to our home planet and were going to rebuild our planet. Just me, Seiya, Taiki, and the Princess, like it was before. Just us three. They are the only people I could ever trust." "Ever?" She echoed as her eyes followed his to the view of the streets of Tokyo. "You have a father and mother." He looked up into the clouds that hovered in the sky. "I don't have a mother." "Everyone has a mother." She insisted. "That woman. Is not a mother." [flashback] "Ne mother, I was picked as one of the senshi to protect Kinmoku! Aren't you proud of me?" "Now I'm strong enough to protect you!" "See I told you. I told you we don't need a father!" "Aren't you proud?" "Aren't you, mother?" "Ne, mother, why are you crying again?" [flashback ends] "A father?" "My father walked out on me when I was still a child." [flashback] "Mother, why are you sending me away?" "Did I do something wrong?" "Ayame, you were picked to protect the Princess. As a duty you must now go to the palace and live with her majesty's daughter." "But, I live here...., with you." "Not anymore. You have become a senshi." [flashback ends] "I'm not a trusting person like you. I wasn't born that way." "Everyone is born with the ability to trust. Its their surroundings that affect how we use the characteristic." [flashback] "But mother, I want to stay." "Take care, Ayame." "But, mother.." [flashback ends] "You don't know us." "But I can see, inside your heart. Your gentle heart. A heart that was hurt. A heart that wants to be loved." [flashback] "But" "But, all I wanted was" "Was to make you happy" "To make you proud." "So you would love me." "So you would stay with me." "So you wouldn't leave me like father." [flashback ends] "I hate her." His fist tightened. "..so much." "No you don't." "What do you know!? How do you know if I like her, or hate her, or anything! Don't act like you know everything!" "But you don't." His knuckles turned to an almost opaque color as he tightened his grip. "Shut up!" "She left me just like my father." "Yaten, there is no parent in this world that doesn't love their child, and there isn't any child that doesn't love their mother in this world." "but I hate her." "She gave birth to you." "She never cared." "She fed you." "but she let me go." "She held you when you cried." "she let me go *even* when I cried." "She loved you." "but she abandoned me." "but she loves you." "But I hate her." He looked away from her. He looked at the blue sky. Anywhere where he didn't have to look into those blue eyes. "I do." He insisted. "You love her." "I hate her." "I - " "I love her." Surprised by his own words. He lifted his fingers to his lips to see if he had really uttered the words he had just heard. For a second, he tried to believe, believe that it was someone else that had said those three words. That it wasn't him, but even he couldn't lie to himself. [flashback] "You! What is your name?" "A..Ayame." "Starting today, your name is Healer." "And you, Fighter." "And you..Maker." "Those are your new names. You three have been chosen. You will forget your past few years of life, from now on, this kingdom, this palace is your home, and you live for my daughter, the Princess." "Yes, your majesty." [flashback ends] "You know Yaten, Id rather be someone who is deceived then to become someone that deceives others." [flashback] "Healer?" "Healer, why are you so sad?" "Does your stomach hurt?" "Come and play with us. With Fighter and Maker and me, in the olive gardens. Just me, you, Fighter, and Maker." "Princess..." "Healer." "Look Fighter! She smiled." [flashback ends] "Ne Yaten do you think you could trust me someday?" Usagi asked as she walked back to the spot she had been writing her letter. "Probably, not." [flashback] "You're too weak!" The warrior slammed the young girl against the wall. "We have been training for months, and this! Have you forgotten you are a senshi? To protect Kinmoku? Get up!" "I am trying.." "Your blows are too weak. You let the enemy read you. You show too much! You mustn't show any feeling. You mustn't show any weakness. You mustn't trust!" And so she repeated those words over and over in her head. 'I mustn't show any weakness. I mustn't trust.' [flashback ends] She laughed at that statement. "Why are you laughing?" Yaten asked in a defensive fret. 'I mustn't show any weakness. I mustn't trust.' "You remind me of Haruka." Yaten's features exploded. 'I mustn't show any weakness. I mustn't trust.' "Are you insane?" "You two should hang out sometime." "Uh, no." 'I mustn't show any weakness. I mustn't trust.' They both looked at each other and he couldn't help but smile. 'I mustn't show any weakness. I mustn't....' He turned his head slightly to look at her. He felt himself loosing himself at the sight of her. And he parted his lips. Opened them just slightly. "I - -" "I need to go." "Hey.." Yaten looked back at her. "Were having a school festival tomorrow. Our class is opening up a café. Everyone would be really happy if you guys could show up." "Were busy." He smoothed his hair with his hand in a snobbish way. He looked around and he heard the chime ring. "But if we have time..maybe." ********** *********** "So you're saying that little girl is the key?" There was a hint of hope in his voice. He looked down at his hands. 'Princess... You're so near.' He looked down at his hands that lay entwined. He straightened his shoulders and took in a breath. "There is a school festival tomorrow. It seems Sailormoon will be attending." Taiki understood exactly what his partner was implying. "And so that girl will be there also." Taiki smiled. "But don't tell Seiya of this. He will want to see that girl. We want to keep him as far from her as possible." He looked up expecting a happy expression from the young idol's face, but was disappointed. ********* ******************** "Makochan!" "What are u guys doing!?" "What are *you* doing here Seiya?" Taiki eyed the girl suspiciously. "I hope you didn't come to see her." 'He shouldn't have been surprised. Surprised that Seiya was here. At her side. He shouldn't have been. Of course they would have talked. Of course she would have invited him. Of course she would of picked him instead of me.' "Is it wrong?" Seiya asked the question as if he was searching for a slight understanding if there was any left in his friends. "What has gotten into you!?" "Its because of her!" He took a step closer. The words flew out of his mouth as if a defense. Like the trembling hands he held up At the general, The one who trained them as senshi, And another step. But it was different now, He was strong. Not weak, Not that weak child Who cried at night So his mother wouldn't hear him. And another. His emerald eyes fixing on the girl. 'That girl had gotten to Seiya.' "She's irrelevant." 'Stop protecting her.. stop it.' "Stop manipulating Seiya!" '....That girl had gotten to me too, Seiya. We both fell in love with the Princess and now... We both fell in love with this girl. And both times, you won.' ****** *************** to be continued. Well, what did you think? Email your thoughts to me! ^_^ Criticism, suggestions, flames, discussion is always appreciated! I always write back ^^ email: xxyumichanxx@aol.com Other fanfics by me: Usagi and Seiya Together Again Kinmokusei |