I AM AN OXYMORON

You know what! I'm going to stop resisting being an Oxymoron and start celebrating it.

Am I an Oxymoron? You betcha little booties I am!

I am a doubting believer....a gentle warrior....a laughing mourner....a spiritual body....a "straight" "queer"....a liberal conservative....an adult child....a weeping celebrant....an honored outcast....a human animal....a true fiction....a sincere hypocrite....an unconscious consciousness....a real fantasy....and a Christian Witch!

I am a nothing that is something....who hears sounds in silence....sees mystery in the common....embraces the sacred in the mundane....and finds wisdom in fools.

I follow an Oxymoron who said that the first are last...that the cursed are blessed....that dying is how one finds life....and the greatest of all is the slave of all.

The Oxymoron who called power weakness and riches poverty and glory shameful, and who called weakness power and poverty riches and shame glorious. The Oxymoron who said all the Kingdom of Heaven is smaller than a mustard seed. The Oxymoron who put "sinners" before "saints" and beggars before kings. The Oxymoron whose crown was thorns, whose throne was a cross, and whose greatest victory was the greatest tragedy of all time, the One who wins by losing, the One who fills by emptying, the GOD who is HUMAN. The Oxymoron. The Paradox. The Mystery. The Contradiction. The Dialectic. The Oxymoron.

Yes....call me an Oxymoron...put me in the camp outside the city with all the Sages and all the Shamans and all who have stood between worlds. I am a Christian. I am a Witch. If that doesn't make sense to you....its not supposed to....no more than the sound of one hand clapping makes sense....or that the journey is the destination....or that the question is its own answer....for I am a living koan and I seek only to become who I have always been.

And you will only understand when you cease trying to understand. You will only grasp when you open your hand. And you will only hold on when you let go.

Rawna Moon the Starchild

May 3, 1998 19:36 originally published at the Witches' Brew at  http://members.aol.com/RawnaMoon/brew.html

See more of her work at The Christian Witchery http://members.aol.com/RawnaMoon/

And her personal site at http://members.aol.com/Starchild0

I formally give permission to post this essay to anyone who wishes to post it on their page or in any other media. All I ask is that you credit it to me as Rawna Moon the Starchild and include the links above.

Love, Rawna Moon the Starchi

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