The Story of Rawna Moon

http://members.aol.com/rawnamoon/

My journey to embracing myself as a Christian Witch began in 1989 when a Christian friend mentioned Matthew Fox in one of our conversations. I was intrigued! Here was a published author saying the same things about God and Christ which I had believed for a long time. I read everything of Fox I could find. I was thrilled when I saw Fox wrote God/Goddess for the Deity. I found his openness to Wicca interesting. I had heard of Pagans, but didn't know anything about them. What Fox said they were about sounded very much like where I was coming from.

I had developed a circle of friends who were Witches. I had been playing Dungeons and Dragons for years. I had loved the fantasy of C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien and found D&D to be a continuation of that love. I found that role playing was an important part of my Jungian Inner work as well, giving me a chance to express parts of my self I could not in real life. I knew little about the faith of my friends, for we didn't talk religion much, but I knew they were kind, generous and loving folk. I didn't see any conflict between their being Witches and me being a Christian in our friendship.

On my spiritual journey my feminism became more and more important to me and I became aware of how masculine most of the spirituality in the Christian Church was. My theoretical appreciation of the Deity being inclusive of both Feminine and Masculine developed into a personal need to relate to my God as my Mother. In attempting to find resources for this exploration of Feminine Spirituality I found a dearth of material. I went to the Public Library to research the myths of menstruation and found only one book on the subject! One book! I realized that if men bled every month there would have been an entire shelf of books on the subject.

In desperation I turned to the Catholic Lay Minister at the local University. She was a former Nun who hosted a Women's Spirituality Circle. She gave me some resources, they all were Women's Spirituality. I came on-line in the fall of 1996. I joined some Lists and Newsgroups. In one I got in a semi-flame war with another person. I didn't like it and wanted to change the subject. It was mid-October and I had a great idea, so I asked her in one of our e-mail exchanges,"Do you think it would offend Wiccans if I went to a Halloween costume party as a Witch?" In asking this question, made up just to change the subject, it suddenly became a real concern for me. I really wanted to go the party as Witch and I really wanted to know if it would be offensive to real Witches. It never occurred to me to ask my real world friends about it, for I was in a phase of not wanting to role play and didn't see them as often.

So I sent an inquiry to one of the Witch Newsgroups. I was overwhelmed with the response. It was so supportive and understanding. I had explained in my post that I was a Christian and I wanted to go as the Traditional idea of a Witch, but I wouldn't if they thought it was offensive. No one thought it would be. They spoke of honoring the Crone aspect of the Goddess. And a number of them said these magic words to me at the beginning of their e-mails: "Merry Meet!" For some reason those words were absolutely wonderful to me. I could see strangers meeting each other along a road in an ancient wood and greeting each other with love, acceptance, openness and healing words of "Merry Meet!".

In December of 1996 I joined AOL. Two things happened to me. I found that I was accepted and supported in the Witches' Chat rooms. I loved saying Merry Meet and Merry Part, and everyone assumed I was a Witch. I didn't hide that I was a Christian, but I found that if I expressed my Christian faith in the terms that I understood, the Witches affirmed me. I would say things like, "I love my Mother Goddess and Her Sophia, the Brightness of her Glory!" The Witches would say, "That is beautiful!"

But in the Christian Chatrooms it was a different story. I would express my Christian Faith and be told, "You are a New Ager and you don't belong in here!" or "What are you, a Witch?" I would explain my faith by saying, "I am a feminist, mystical, post-neo-orthodox, liturgical, ecumenical Protestant Christian with a Creation Spirituality focus and Pagan, Zen, Taoist, Hindu and Native leanings/influences." Often in saying that in Christian Chatroom they would come back and say, "Yeah! You are a Witch."

One day I responded with, "YES! I AM A WITCH!" That was the day I joined the Christian Witches folders in Pagan Message Boards and claimed myself as a Witch. The next day I went to my real world Witch friends and told them what had happened to me. I went home with "A Witch Alone" by Marion Greene and other books. I ate up Greene's book. She was so open to the Witch/Christian mix. I began to say, "I am a Christian Witch, in my Christianity I am Presbyterian, in my Witchiness I am a solitary." I love the earth. I love the phases of the moon. I have always felt touched by the passing of the seasons and have felt that the Solstice is a time of celebration for all, no matter what faith system one uses.

It was at this time that I recalled my paternal Cajun Granny who I met only once at age 6 and ran away from screaming "A Witch". She was old and had lost her mind. She had lost her mind because of many factors, one of which was that she was gifted/cursed with the powers of divination. I realized I had the same powers as her. I began to explore my gift using the same method she did, the reading of coffee grounds. It was amazing what I could see. Then I ventured into casting the I Ching. I developed an interested in the Tarot and researched it in depth. In time I brought my own deck and it was like electricity was running through me!

But the thing about me, that seemed most congruent with being a Witch, was how I felt about the cycles of time. I always loved the passing of the seasons and for years had kept my own sense of the wheel of the year. I also had thought of the day in terms of the actual sun time and not the standard time that ignores the sun. But my most important connection to a cycle was the phases of the Moon. I love following the changes in the Moon and for a very long time had kept track of her. I also would make a point of standing under the Full Moon and communing with the rest of creation as a creature under the Moon.

I feel like the Moon herself is an icon of the Creatrix. I don't know how to explain it in Christian terms. I know that the Moon is really only an inanimate hunk of matter reflecting the light of solar fusion, but she also is a symbol of so much.

One thing about the Moon is that she is always there and she is there all across the world. She also lights up the darkness, what a symbol of Christ, that which shines in the darkness over the whole Earth!

But to me the Moon is somehow a very powerful symbol of the Feminine. I wrote this poem about it years before I embraced myself as a Witch:

MOON CHANGES

Once I stepped out into the chilled winter air

into the bright winter night out of a warm friendly church where girls not yet women and boys not yet men sung and danced and prayed

The great and terrible day of the Lord

The streets were quiet streams of black

running between shuttered homes of gray island of heat in the piercing cold with columns of smoke fogging the sky coloring the large full moon a dull red-orange

the great and terrible day of the Lord will not come before the moon turns into blood the moon turns into blood

I have seen the setting full moon before the daybreak

it was falling into a quiet sleeping sea huge it was and cold and distant and severe but across its witchy face played the red fires of the sun hiding in the east waiting to light up the day

I have seen the rising full moon behind the trees

a yellow beacon dominating the early night pulling my eye, my mind, my heart like a tide I ran into the house, grabbed my children and brought them out look at this, look at this, look at the moon coming up

I have seen the new crescent moon at seven o'clock

its horns stretching towards Venus evening star just like lovers' arms reaching out to embrace this is magic, this sickly thin new moon drawing its power out of the goddess of love

I have seen the day moon forgotten in the bright blue sky

what shines so bright in the dark is lost in the light the lazy, easy going clouds make it seem small and pale the old moon fades away, fades away, fades away until at the end of the month it's lost in the sun

The moon changes, the flowers fall, the day comes I am cold and alone in the bitter night when the moon turns into blood.

I notice now how much of my then future feelings of Witchcraft were already there in that poem. I even talk about the Moon being "Witchy"; and "Magic" and use the word "Goddess"; The only real change in the last year and a half is that now I call the Moon "She" instead of "It" and I capitalize the word Moon.

But I've noticed something else. I have a tendency to whisper, every time I see the Moon, a little phrase, "Hail to Thee, Goddess of the Night!" This feels right and sacred, and yet I know that the Moon is not the Goddess I worship, but a fellow creature of the Great Goddess who is the Creatrix of both the Moon and I. Yet it seems right to call the Moon "Goddess".

I found myself moving into a Sacramental relationship with the Moon. Just as the Bread is a Sacrament of the Body of Christ, the Moon is a Sacrament of the Great Goddess and her ever caring love and concern for all the Earth.

One thing I've decided about this journey is not to try to figure everything out. I've decided to move forward doing what my heart pulls me towards and let the figuring out come later. So I go outside every Full Moon and cast a circle to the Great Goddess and then hail the Moon Goddess and dance a sacred dance.

My first circle under the Full Moon was beautiful. I drove down to the bay and walked up the railroad tracks to an isolated little bluff that overlooks the bay. The night was clear but the Moon was so bright I could barely see the North Star to align my circle.

There were a few people down on the beach, lovers I think, and as I set up my circle a freight train pulled up on the tracks and stopped alongside me, parking for some reason or other, like the great train of the unconscious with its romance and mystery.

The whole little bluff was filled with the silver light of the Moon. I had dressed warmly and I needed to take off my shawl and outer sweater. I set up my circle, outlining the circle with salt and invoking the Holy Spirit of the Great Goddess at the four quarters. I had a mound of flour at North, Jasmine incense at East, a white candle at South, and a porcelain pitcher filled with water at West. In the Center of the circle I had a jar candle of the Lady of Guadulupe as my Goddess Candle. Before I began invoking the circle I raised my arms towards the Moon and said, "Hail to Thee, Goddess of the Night! Sacrament of the Great Goddess Creatrix of all things!"

In my circle, after I danced the spiral dance, I sat in peace for a bit, then I turned towards the Moon, raised my arms to her and said, ";Hail to Thee, Goddess of the Night, Sacrament of the Great Goddess, Creatrix of all things"; Then I went back to being quiet and I had a vision of the four quarters forming a cross and then I saw the directions continuing beyond the circle and I realized it was a Celtic Cross and I was in the middle of it, right in the heart of Christ. Then I saw myself doing this same ritual again in the future but this time having a cup or dark red wine that I toasted to the Moon and then drank alone.

I unwound the circle and packed up my tools and quietly walked back to my car. I drove down to a local pub and had a glass of red wine before I went home. Afterwards I felt very relaxed, very centered, very connected, and very healed of some depression that had been plaguing me the last few days.

For me, observing the phases of the Moon by casting a circle outdoors under the Full Moon and engaging in private ritual worship of the Deity whom I believe is both God and Goddess, is what makes me an actual Christian Witch rather than simply a Feminist Christian with a Creation Spirituality focus who is gifted with the gift of divination. It takes me from the theoretical to the actual. My relationship with the Deity as being my Mother and Christ being the Sophia of Goddess is a living reality in my life and the Moon is the ever present symbol of that reality.

Merry Meet, Blessed Be, and may Bright Blessings light your way! Rawana Moon

On her web site under SACRED RITUALS you will find answers to these kind of questions.

What are Spirituality and Religion?

Before exploring Christian Witchcraft it is important to think about this question. This article will help you understand what we are trying to accomplish in the other articles.

What is a Christian Witch?

What exactly are we talking about when we put the terms "Christian" and "Witch" together? Isn't that an Oxymoron? Does this even make sense?

Doesn't the Bible forbid Witchcraft?

What about that pesky "suffer not a witch to live" passage? Aren't Christians who want to be Witches not true Christians since they don't want to obey the Bible?

Isn't Witchcraft a Pagan religion?

Aren't Witches just people who follow the Pagan religion of Wicca? Are Christian Witches trying to mix Christianity and Wicca?

Aren't Witches Polytheists?

Don't Witches worship many Gods and Goddesses and aren't Christians required to worship only the one true God?

How can a Christian do Magick?

Isn't Magick forbidden to Christians? Aren't they supposed to be people who rely simply on prayer to God and not need to try to gain their own power with Magick?

Isn't casting a Circle occultic?

Aren't many of the practices of Witchcraft right out of the occult? Won't doing these connect people to the dangerous demonic world and open people up to Satanic influences?

Why not just be Wiccan?

Why don't you just admit you want to be a Wiccan but are afraid to let go of Christianity? Aren't Christian Witches just folk who haven't completed their journey of coming out of Christianity?

Why not just be a plain Christian?

If one's going to be a Christian why isn't it enough just to be a Christian? Isn't this saying Jesus isn't enough, and how can one be a Christian and say that?