Sayings for the painted pictures etc.

• Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.
• Marriage is a continuous process of getting used to things you hadn’t expected.
• Mothering is necessary, but grandmothering is a luxury of life.
• Money talks ---- mine keeps saying goodbye.
• Do not handicap your children by making life easy.
• The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
• A rich child often sits in a poor mother’s lap.
• A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child.
• A child is a gift whose worth cannot be measured except by the heart.
• Children need models rather then critics.
• If a child lives with approval, he leans to live with himself.
• Never trust a skinny cook.
• Mealtime is when children continue to eat but sit down.
• Help wanted, everyone in this house qualifies.
• I never met a calorie I didn’t like.
• I clean my house every other day, this isn’t the other day.
• What makes you different makes you special.
• If I’d known the joy of grandchildren, I would have had them first.
• I’d enjoy the day more if it started later.
• Yesterday was past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.
• A mother is like a quilt, she keeps them warm but doesn’t smother them.
• Many kinds of fruit are grown on the tree of life but none so sweet as friendship.
• Who ran to help me when I fell and would some pretty story tell, or kiss the place to make it well ------ my mother.
• Friends are like flowers in the garden of life.
• Homes are better by miles.
• Who takes the child by the hand, takes the mother by the heart.
• A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.
• Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
• A home is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy.
• Children need your presence more than your presents.
• My husband says he’ll leave me if I don’t stop shopping ----- Lord, I’ll miss that man.
• Be reasonable, do it my way.
• Ban cooking, eat out.
• Blessed are the brief for they shall have low phone bills.
• You can agree with me, or you can be wrong.
• Kitchen closed, I’m not in the mood.
• The best antiques are old friends.
• Ring bell for maid service, if no answer do it yourself.
• All things grow with love.
• Child --- a person who stands halfway between adult and the television.
• The way to a women’s heart, is through the door of a good restaurant.
• Mum loves hugs, mum loves kisses, mum would really love help with the dishes.
• I may be fat, but you’re ugly and I can diet.
• Life is a play. ‘Tis not the length but its performance the counts.
• One book that always has a sad ending is a cheque book.
• If all men are alike why do women find it so hard to pick one.
• A towel is what a boy looks at the see if his face is clean after he has washed it.
• I’d cook if I could find the can opener.
• Grandmother are just antique little girls.
• My husband and cat are missing ---- reward for the cat.
• I usually wake up grouchy, but sometimes I let him sleep in.
• Miles away or just next door is always home when friends are there.
• No matter what, no matter where, it’s a warm home when friends are there.
• Do you want to talk to the man in charge or the women who knows.
• A friend is someone who listens with their heart.
• Friends always stay in the heart.
• I don’t repeat gossip so listen carefully.
• God must have loved calories he made so many of them.
• The road to a friends home is never long.
• Life after 60 ----- when your knees buckle and your belt wont.
• I’m not crying, my eyes are close to my kidneys today.
• Four letter dirty words --- cook, wash, iron, dust.
• To eat is human, to pig out is divine.
• Mother’s hold their children’s hand for a while and their hearts forever.
• When mother ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
• I’m through with reality, I want a fairy godmother.
• Bless this house with loving hearts.
• A mother’s love is tied with heartstrings.
• Those who are least loveable need the most love.
• When I think of special, I think of you.
• Of course I exercise regularly ---- once in April, and again in October or November.
• We spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like ---- who don’t come over and get impressed.
• If at first you don’t succeed, deny you ever tried.
• Enjoy life! This is not a dress rehearsal.
• Every person you meet is an opportunity for kindness.
• I’m not having hot flushes, I’m having power surges.
• God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die.
• I will not have temper tantrums, nor stamping across the floor, I will not pout, scream, or shout or kick against the door. I will not throw my food around or pick upon another. I will always try to be real good, because I’m the mother.
• Mother; you were my first friend, now you’re my best friend.
• Pig out today, tomorrow you pay.
• How can my account be overdrawn, I still have more cheques.
• Some of my best friends are calories.
• (on pig) -- Eat more fish. (on cow) – Eat more chicken.
• I was made to be rich, but sewn up wrong.
• My idea of cleaning is taking a sweeping glance at the room.
• Help wanted, see Mum.
• There are four kinds of food in this house --- microwave, canned, frozen and fast food.
• I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
• Well, it’s just mind over matter ---- if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.
• Friends can be forever.
• A woman never shot a man while he was doing the dishes.
• If crying and kissing doesn’t work --- NAG.
• Dull women have immaculate homes.
• I made a wish and you came true.
• Housework done properly can kill you.
• I need less week and more weekend.
• Life began in a garden --- a garden starts with a loving heart.
• Home is where you hang your heart.
• Nothing warms the heart like a friend.
• Hold onto your husband, he might come back in fashion.
• The shadows are behind you if you walk towards the light.
• Ban housework, hire a maid.
• God blesses this kitchen but he doesn’t clean it.
• Enjoy life, Ewe only get one chance.
• You are the "bearly" best.
• The rooster may crow but the hen delivers the goods.
• This is a self cleaning kitchen --- everyone cleans up after themselves.
• You have 2 choices for dinner --- take it or leave it.
• I made my favourite thing for dinner --- a reservation.
• Mother busy call 008 Grandma.
• A friend is somebody who walks in when everybody else walks out.
• The best things in life are not things.
• A mothers love is like a rose, each passing day it grows and grows.
• I need 2 diets, 1 doesn’t supply enough food.
• Friends welcome anytime, relations by appointment.
• Father knows best, mothers knows better.
• I will stop putting things off, I start tomorrow.
• The women who bring home the bacon shouldn’t have to cook it.
• In the cookie of life, mothers are the choc chips.
• When I count my blessings I count you twice.
• Friends like you are precious few.
• Cherish yesterday, dream about tomorrow, live today.
• There’s no place like home, except Nana’s.
• The trouble with being a good sport is you’ve got to lose to prove it.
• This is an equal opportunity kitchen.
• Mothers and love differ only in name, the miracles they work are one and the same.
• A real friend is a great treasure.
• Those who say money can’t buy happiness don’t know where to shop.
• Everybody has to believe in something --- I believe I’ll go shopping/fishing etc.
• All secrets are safe with me and my friends.
• Everyone loves something homemade --- which one of the kids would you like.
• Count your blessings, not your troubles.
• So this isn’t home sweet home --- adjust.
• It’s a shame to waste a college education on a teenager who knows everything.
• A house is built by hands but a home is built by hearts.

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