Fate Does Not Intercede On My Behalf
Staš Voyt

I was a lonely gay guy
In a large LA high school

I did not stand out

I didn’t have any friends

I longed for a boyfriend

But was always afraid

I desired love

All I got was a shove in the hall

I drifted through high school

Attended classes sporadically

I only wanted to be noticed

When I was high, stoned or drunk

My parents looked the other way

I didn’t hate anyone

I just wanted them to see me

Unwanted, a faded afterthought among the shadows

I had the idea to kill myself

Then everyone would be sad

At least if I’d not effect them else wise

They’d notice me then

The clerk didn’t ask for ID

And the shotgun was loaded, ready to please

I arrived at my school, ready to pump a bullet in my head

I didn’t mean to shoot anybody else

I wanted to prove to those pretty girls who sometimes laugh

What their attitude had cost me

It did not work out that way

Fate does not intercede on my behalf

The lonely gay boy I was

I shot the prettiest girls in school

Because they had the hot boys I wanted

I shot them all

I shot myself too

Sought oblivion to end my pain

And felt no remorse

As that bullet entered my brain