Okay, the song is ‘The Heart of the Matter.’ By Don Henley.

The bastard, how could he?

Even though it had been two years since my break up with Danny it still hurt. The wounds had healed, the scars faded but they would never be gone completely.

Our paths still crossed occasionally, at award shows and industry parties. I had heard on the grapevine that he had a new boyfriend, had moved in with him, had gotten engaged.

I was unable to stop the solitary tear that traced it’s path down my cheek as I looked back down at the gilt-edged invitation in my hand. A wedding invitation. Their wedding.

I can still remember it like it was yesterday. The tears flowed freely now as my mind went back to that fateful day.

‘I’m sorry Darren, I can’t take this anymore.’

‘What do you mean? Can’t take what?’

‘This.’ Daniel’s hand swept expansively through the air, taking in the whole of the room including Darren who was still laying naked in their bed.

‘Me you mean?’ Darren said harshly.

‘Yes, you,’ Daniel replied wearily. ‘You and your diva tantrums, you and your love of the high-life. You and your career.’ He said sadly. ‘It’s make your mind up time Darren. Me or the limelight that you seem to crave so much. There was a time when my love was sufficient for you but not any more it seems. I can’t compete and I’m tired of trying.’

When I didn’t answer he took that as my decision and left.

I was out of town for the next few days and when I returned he had collected all of his belongings from our house.

He left, it seemed quite deliberately, anything that we had brought or been given as a couple but he took everything else that was his, his guitars, all his clothes, his keyboards, everything that was inherently Daniel.

The house just didn’t feel quite the same because of it, so not long after I sold up and moved to a much smaller apartment, well the house was half his anyway. And it just held too many memories.

What happened to us?

Where did we go?

Somewhere along the line I lost him,

Started taking him for granted.

Looking back I guess it was a miracle he stuck around for as long as he did.

I couldn’t really blame him for leaving.

We just simply drifted apart.

He needed more than I was prepared to give.

Yet even though I had forgiven him had I ever really forgiven myself?

‘Daniel, you’re wasted.’

‘Yesssssh, what of it?’

Darren looked at the dining-room table, saw the intimate place settings, the champagne, the candles.

‘Oh shit, sorry babe I forgot.’

‘You promeshed.’

‘I’m so sorry,’

‘Don’t worry, Obi appreciated it.’

‘Dan…’

‘Don’t Darren, just don’t. I’m going to bed.’

Darren slumped in a chair as Daniel pushed past him. Moments later he heard their bedroom door shut with a resolute bang. Sighing, he went into the lounge and snagging a throw, curled up unhappily on the couch.

Yes, my career has been successful, amazingly so

But it has come with a heavy price.

I may have critical acclaim and hordes of adoring fans but I get so lonely sometimes.

I haven’t been able to hold down a relationship.

Maybe Dan was right.

Is it all worth it I wonder?

Gradually we went from hostility, to numbness, to mute acceptance.

We could be in the same room together.

I guess we both felt more sadness than anger.

Fuck it I’m going to the wedding. I am going and I am going to congratulate them and wish them well.

It’s the least they deserve.

The past was a long time ago and it’s time I let go and moved on.

It wasn’t Dan’s fault the relationship didn’t work out, it was mine.

Time to acknowledge that, stop bearing grudges and clear out all this emotional shit that has been cluttering up my life for so long now.

As I had suspected, the wedding was beautiful, the two grooms looked radiant and seemed genuinely pleased to see me.

I even managed to stay and watch as they took to the floor for the first dance, though I did make my exit pretty sharpish after that. Hey one step at a time here.

On the way home I hang a detour and stop at my favourite spot by the lake, as might be expected it’s deserted at this hour.

The full moon provides more than enough illumination as I lock the car and make my way down to the water’s edge. I take off my socks and shoes and delight in the feel of the damp grass between my toes, the already formed dew making the bottom of my suit trousers wet but I don’t care.

I feel better than I have in a long, long time. To see Daniel today, so happy, so radiant. I know that he truly is in love with Joe and Joe with him, that he will look after him and take care of him.

How can I possibly begrudge them their happiness?

Finally he is gone. My Danny no more.

And you know what? I can finally say that without any rancour, without any bitterness.

I turn my head to the moon, watch it’s silvery light play over the surface of the still water, the myriad of tiny pinprick stars wink and blink back at me.

Life is good, I am content. I am free. I have finally forgiven myself.

Smiling I make my way back to the car.

‘Goodbye Daniel.’ I whisper. And it feels good.

It’s time to look to the future and suddenly the future looks very bright indeed.