Part Sixteen

‘…turning into butterflies above our nation…’

For some the morning can never come quick enough, for others it’s dawning is met with reluctance, something to put off for as long as possible.

For Daniel it came to spirit away all that he held dear.

The first rays crept over the horizon, stealing through the curtains and falling upon the still sleeping form of Darren, bathing his skin in a soft orange glow, his golden hair glimmering, making him look like quite the fallen angel.

Carefully Daniel pressed his lips to Darren’s bare shoulder, tasting the salt that lingered there, catching the scent of their love making, taking it all in and locking it away in a secret place deep within his heart. Remembering everything and wanting to hold close the memory forever.

At his touch Darren stirred under him and turned his head to face him, his blue eyes betraying the emotion that he would never give voice to.

‘Morning,’ Darren said, in what sounded like a desperately feeble attempt to be cheery, ‘how you feeling?

Daniel just shrugged, ‘Good, bad, nervous, sick…sore.’

Darren laughed, ‘Well it was hell of a leaving party.’

Not once but twice did Darren make love to him last night, neither man wanting the night to end, wanting to constantly revel in their intimacy, to keep bringing each other the ultimate pleasure and not for one second did Daniel regret any of it.

For a moment they just lay there regarding each other, drinking in the sight of their lover before Darren proved the stronger of the two and, prodding Daniel gently, suggested that perhaps he should get up.

Daniel got as far as pushing back the covers before Darren’s resolve broke and he caught Daniel round the waist, pulling him back for a long, lingering kiss. ‘I love you ,never forget that.’ He said, when he eventually released Dan and allowed him to get up.

‘Forever and ever.’ Daniel replied not daring to look at Darren, at the beautiful, bewitching man who lay amongst the crumpled bed sheets and covers, physical reminders of what had occurred between them.

Mechanically Daniel went through his daily ritual of piss, wash, shave and dress. He had lain out his clothes the day before, a new pair of smart slacks and a button down shirt. Smiling to himself ironically, he ran his comb through his hair, hair that was now just brushing the tops of his shoulders. He hadn’t bothered getting it cut knowing full well that it would be gone within hours of him arriving at boot camp anyway.

As Darren took his turn in the bathroom Daniel made them some breakfast, glancing round what was once his apartment as he waited for the kettle to boil. Although most of his meagre possessions remained in place, this was Darren’s apartment now, they had sweet-talked his landlord into taking on Darren as a tenant and Daniel was pleased to think that at least one good thing had come out of all this.

Silently Darren returned and silently he dressed.

Daniel wasn’t sure but he could have sworn that he saw a redness and puffiness to Darren’s eyes that hadn’t been there when he awoke. A redness that couldn’t be attributed to the dope because Darren’s tin still sat there, in plain view, on the table.

Breakfast was an equally subdued affair. What could they say, what could they talk about that had not already been said a thousand times over before?

Daniel chose instead to gaze out of the window. It really was a beautiful day, the sky was blue, the wind had dropped and the sea was a tantalising shade of grey mixed with green. But none of that mattered anymore. Where he was most likely going the sky was relentless, the jungle inhospitable and the chances of seeing the sea remote to say the least.

 All to soon it was time to leave. They could put it off no longer.

‘Here Darren, catch…’

‘Huh?’ Darren turned his head just in time to catch the keys to Daniel’s VW.

‘It’s yours man,’ Daniel said in answer to Darren’s puzzled expression, ‘look after her for me whilst I’m away ok?’

‘Here,’ Darren reached under his collar and brought out his string of love beads. Lifting them over his head he placed them round Daniel’s neck, ghosting a kiss on his lips as he did so, ‘I know you probably won’t be able to wear them much further than the airport but look after them and I’ll do you a swap, your van for my beads, when you get back.’

‘Oh Darren.’ Daniel fingered the beads and then pulled his lover tightly to him, never wanting to let go.

They had agreed to say their goodbyes at the apartment. As Darren had pragmatically pointed out they would be unable to say them at the airport. Kissing your boyfriend in an openly public place would not have been the most prudent of moves especially when one of them was now enlisted in the United States Army.

They kissed and held each other like time had stood still and all that existed was that moment. And for them, for that moment, that was all that existed. The feeling of the other’s body pressing in tight to their own, the private dance that their tongues were playing out in Daniel’s mouth, the feel of warm, wet lips caressing their own. It was as if it was a frozen frame in history, time in a capsule.

Picking up Daniel’s sparsely packed bag, Darren hoisted it onto his shoulder and opened the door.

‘Come on, you have a plane to catch and I believe I have a van to test-drive.’

One last look around at the two humble rooms that he had called home for the last three years and Daniel followed him out, carefully closing the door behind him.

Parking up near the perimeter fence, Daniel and Darren embraced for one final time, both of them desperately trying to hold back their tears and both of them failing.

‘How’s it go?’ Darren asked, brushing away Daniel’s tears with his thumb, ‘not goodbye but au reviour?’

‘Not goodbye but see you around?’

Nodding slowly Darren pressed his lips to Daniel’s and kissed him gently. ‘See you around Daniel.’

Opening the door Daniel got out and retrieved his bag from the back of the van. ‘See you around Darren.’

Darren watched as Daniel made his way back to the road and began walking in the direction of the main airport entrance. He watched until Daniel turned a corner and he could see him no more.

Getting out himself he grabbed his guitar and climbed up to sit on the hood of the van.

Tears flowed freely down his face, blurring his vision, as half an hour later he saw the TWA plane taxi to the runway then with a fierce rumble take to the skies.

Picking up his guitar he closed his eyes and started strumming a song, softly singing along.