Sexuality is something human beings have always had problems with in any time any place. The United States is certainly no exception. Historically, the consequences of sexual intercourse has always left women holding the short end of the stick, (until the advent of reliable female birth control that is). Since the "sexual revolution" of the 1960's when "the pill" became a readily available item, and the controversial Roe vs. Wade decision made abortion legal in this country, sexuality has become more of a pleasure game than a reproductive one. I think our society has some pretty serious problems when it comes to sexuality.
People on both ends of the sexual spectrum make it terribly difficult to discuss and engage in healthy sexuality. Those on the promiscuous side of sex turn it into a form of "soulless self-pleasuring," while those on the conservative side of sex turn it into a crusade to "save us from ourselves." As usual, neither extreme really has sex figured out right. Either we want to see that everyone has the same rights to sex that we ourselves do, or we are fighting to keep everyone from having what we as individuals determine to be "deviant."
It is next to impossible to place restrictions on sex. It is all we can do to keep people from "going at it" in public in this country. I suspect that there are plenty of people who, if they could, would outlaw all sex except for that which occurs between heterosexual married couples in the approved "missionary position," nothing else. I also know there are people who would want to make sure those who were "caught" outside these narrow perceptions were severely punished. I don't think this is proper, nor is it right.
Sex is natural and it is not a sin, without it, none of us would be here. Unlike animals, human beings don't have strong instinctual pressures to have sex. After puberty, human females are fertile 12 times a year and human males can be ready whenever and wherever. In order to insure reproduction in the human being, sexuality evolved to become a pleasurable act for both participants. It is also true that human beings are among the only creatures on earth that can have sex just because they want to rather than just for reproduction. Hence, people are going to "do it" whether we like it or not. Many people are going to do things that we personally wouldn't approve of, however what goes on in the private lives of two consenting adults is nobody else's business! (This includes adulterers, heterosexuals, homosexuals, janitors, judges, and even the President of the United States.) Another objectionable method of controlling people's sex lives is intentionally putting the "fear of God" into young people concerning sex. Perpetuating ignorance and fear is no way to treat such a wonderful and miraculous act as sex. Rather than scaring people, we should be arming them with all the information they need to make up their own minds about it.
As with many things in our lives, we become physically capable of sexual intercourse long before we are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. My own experience in sexuality is one where I started too young and found myself asking: "is that it?". I wish I had waited in retrospect, but I just had to know what it was all about (I was lucky enough to have access to condoms and I learned how to use them correctly). Most young people are going to be naturally curious about sex and will use the "discovery method" if they aren't provided with information and support from adult role models such as parents and teachers.
It used to be that our society held up this "wall of mysticism" around sexuality and this seemed to work. The rare exceptions where pregnancy occurred were quickly hushed up and the girls who got pregnant "went away" to have their babies. Obviously, things have changed dramatically.
Along with "the pill", magazines, TV, and movies have encouraged sexuality in both young men and women since, and a huge industry has grown up around the idea of nudity, promiscuous behavior, and sex-as-pleasure rather than as a sacred act between two consenting and loving adults. These days, the conservatives and liberals now seem to be deadlocked between frightening young people into absolute abstinence, or providing them with contraception.
The abstinence only stance is one that has gained both momentum and controversy in this country. There are federal programs that require school health programs to teach abstinence only or risk the loss of funding. This provides a large incentive for schools to take the abstinence only route to keep federal monies coming in. Many parents are very much into seeing their children practice abstinence and will pressure their school health programs, or pull their children from the health classes to see their children do not receive any information they deem "inappropriate" for their children. It is often the case that parents have no idea what kind of information is given to children in school health programs, what's worse, they don't want to know. Children who do not receive the kind of information they need to understand the consequences and implications of sexuality are going to get it elsewhere. According to many conservatives in our government, ignorance is bliss for both children and parents.
Providing contraception is not going to promote promiscuous behavior in someone whose already made up their minds not to have sex, any more than denying contraception from those who have made up their minds to have sex will. From this point of view, wouldn't it be better to be safe than sorry? Instead of conception and/or spreading disease, we can circumvent the undesirable consequences by arming those who choose to be sexually active with the proper information and protection. As for children, yes I agree that they need to be protected somewhat from pornography and nudity on TV and in movies. What is necessary in our nation are responsible parents guiding and teaching their children right from wrong and an understanding that children will learn from both parents and school the information necessary to make an informed decision for themselves. Everyone, including children, are going to be naturally curious about sex. Rather than trying to keep them blinded to it as long as possible, parents have a responsibility to answer questions and explain things honestly to kids. So do school health programs. If we take some of the mystery away, sex won't seem so enticing to young people. So long as we keep it behind a cloak of mysticism, secrecy, fear, and shame, we are merely fueling their curiosities, not quenching them.
Sexuality is something that our society has to come to grips with. We spend far too much time arguing what we should do (or not do) about it rather than just talking openly about it. Some people are going to do whatever they want to do whether we like it or not, others will take a more puritanical view and try their damnedest to deny others that right. I can't tell you what is right for you, only you can do that. I know where I stand.