AUDI

• Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
• Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
• All Un-informed Drivers Insulted
• All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW

• Big Money Works
• Bought My Wife
• Brutal Money Waster

BUICK

• Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer

CHEVROLET

• Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
• Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE

• Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
• Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FORD

• Fix Or Repair Daily
• Found On Road, Dead
• Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM

• General Maintenance

GMC

• Garage Man's Companion

HONDA

• Had One, Never Did Again
• Happy Owners Never Drive Anything Else

HYUNDAI

• Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive?

MAZDA

• Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE

• Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day
• Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB

• Send Another Automobile Back

TOYOTA

• Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

• Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW

• Virtually Worthless