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         THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM WATCHING MOVIES

  ...All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
  
  ...If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
  passing St.  Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
  
  ...All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the
  armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying
  beside her.
  
  ...All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
  Bread.
  
  ...It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in
  the control tower to talk you down.
  
  ...Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
  diving.
  
  ...The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
  place.  No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you
  can travel to any other part of the building you want without
  difficulty.
  
  ...If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
  ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
  
  ...You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you
  make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back
  home.
  
  ...Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will
  not be necessary to speak the language.  A German accent will do.
  
  ...The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  
  ...A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating
  but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
  
  ...When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out
  a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over.  It will always be
  the exact fare.
  
  ...Kitchens don't have light switches.  When entering a kitchen at
  night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
  
  ...Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family
  every morning even though their husband and children never have time
  to eat it.
  
  ...Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
  
  ...The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or
  give him 48 hours to finish the job.
  
  ...A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of
  RFK Stadium.
  
  ...Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
  
  ...Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
  
  ...It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or
  ending phone conversations.
  
  ...Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary
  to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few
  moments.
  
  ...All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
  readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
  
  ...It is always possible to park directly outside the building you
  are visiting.
  
  ...A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
  duty.
  
  ...It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
  involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack
  you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
  have knocked out their predecessors.
  
  ...When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they
  will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
  
  ...No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
  eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
  
  ...Police departments give their officers personality tests to make
  sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
  opposite.
  
  ...When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
  each other.
  
  ...Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds
  - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped
  inside.
  
  ...Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
  personally at that precise moment.