Fabulous's "I Can't Deny It!" hits as fireworks go off...
Wednesday Night Wrestling Present's...WAR! LIVE FROM KANDAHAR, AFGANISTAN!
JR: We are HERE! LIVE IN AFGANISTAN! WHERE WE ARE ENTERTAINING U.S. TROOPS, WHO ARE IN FRONT ROW TONIGHT!
Camera shows them...
Crowd show a round of applause...
Finkel: Our first happening tonight is THE DOUBLE WEDDING!
Triple H's Music hits...
Triple H walks down in his tuxeduo as The Priest smiles at him...HE SMILES BACK!
JR: Well, to make this really special and grand for the two couples, we are gonna be taken off air for a little while, see you all later...
Coach: See you after the Wedding...
The Dudley Boyz Music hits...
The Prez comes down to the setup, he looks nervous...Triple H pats him on the back and seems to tell him not to worry...
Here comes the BRIDE MUSIC HITS!
Out comes the Brides, in beautiful dresses...Triple H and The Prez look amazed! When they finaly get settled, The Priest starts to talk...
Priest: This being a Double Wedding, the two will be married at the same time...Boo Chick and Extreme Raye, do you take these men to be your lawful wedded husbands?
Raye: I do!
Boo: ...
Prez looks really worried...
Boo: I DO!
Priest: Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Prez, do you take these lovely ladies to be your wife?
Prez: I DO!
Triple H: I DO!
Priest: And now...if anyone believes that this pair of four, should not marry their loves SPEAK NOW! OR FOREVER HOLD your peace......OKAY...YOU ARE NOW PRENOUNCED HUSBAND AND...
Y2J's Music hits...
COOL MOODY WALKS OUT WITH A MIC!
Moody: Sorry, I'm a few seconds late!
Crowd boo's!
Moody: PRIEST! MARRY PREZ AND BOO CHICK, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM!
Priest: (Nervously) I now pronounce Boo and Prez husband and wife, you may kiss THE BRIDE!
Prez kisses Boo on the cheek, then looks back to Moody!
Moody: Raye! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HUH? HOW COULD YOU?
Raye looks confused...
Moody: Remember the night when Edge got The Intercontinental Championship from Triple H, only because you were KISSING ME? RAYE! DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHERE WE WENT?
Raye shakes her head no...Triple H looks at Raye, questioningly...
Moody: BULLSHIT! You REMEMBER VERY WELL!
Raye nods no again...
Moody: Get that DAMN PRIEST OUT OF HERE!
The Priest runs away...Triple H looks like he's about to burst...
Triple H signals to be thrown a microphone...
Triple H: MOODY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?
Moody: Raye can tell you...
Triple H looks at Raye, and hands her the microphone...
Raye: (Worriedly) Um...I...I...I don't know what he's...he's talking about...
Moody: Let me refresh your memory, Raye...
Triple H: You do that...
Moody: I was kissing you as I took you away through The Crowd...
Triple H: Yeah...COME ON PUNK, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!
Moody: WE FUCKED IN THE HOTEL ROOM!
Triple H looks like he's gonna go crazy, possibly even CRY! The Prez whispers something in Triple H's ear, Triple H nods, and Prez takes Boo Chick away with him...
Moody: Come on, Raye! Admit it! YOU LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!
Raye: NEVER! I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU, NEVER!!!
Moody: Why did you request a match against me Raye? A COVER UP?! WERE YOU TRYING TO COVER UP WHAT HAPPENED, RAYE?
Raye starts crying...
Raye: No!
Triple H: So, it did happen???
Raye: NO! I NEVER HAD SEX WITH HIM, I HATE HIM!
Moody: That's not what you said Friday...
Triple H: WHAT?? RAYE! YOU TELL ME NOW!!!
Raye: I...I...I DIDN'T DO SHIT, DAMMIT!
Moody: (Gets a sick smile on his face) You told your fiance` you were going to Boo Chick's House...
Triple H: YOU DID! DID YOU? DID YOU GO WITH MOODY???
Raye runs away crying...
Triple H rips off his tuxeduo and runs up the ramp towards Moody...
JR: Well, we are back! By God!
Coach: Could this be true?
JR: It's up to Boo Chick now!
Finkel: The First Match is a TLC Match for The WNW Intercontinental Championship...
Coach: This match, sure will be interesting...I'm gonna go look for Boo Chick...
JR: Good Luck!
Y2J's Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 260 pounds...COOL MOODY!
Crowd boo's him...
"Control" by Puddle of Mudd hits...
Crowd is silent...
Finkel: Making her way to the ring...Extreme Raye!
Extreme Raye is whiping the tears from her eyes...
DING! DING! DING! Raye grabs a chair as she gets in the ring...she swings it at Moody, he ducks...he goes up behind Raye and trips her onto her knees and puts her in an Anklelock!
JR: There is no submition, or disqualifacation...
TAP TAP TAP!!! Moody keeps the hold on...Raye screams in pain...
JR: HEY! HERE COMES TRIPLE H TO HELP RAYE!
Coach and Boo Chick apear on The WNWTron...Triple H stops in his tracks, Moody lets go of Raye, as she pulls away holding her ankle...
Coach: Boo Chick, you are the only one that can confirm this...
Boo: I know what it is...
Coach: Did Extreme Raye come over on Tuesday, January 22nd?
Boo: (Pauses)...Umm...No.
The Crowd is in shock...
The WNWTron fades, Triple H turns around and goes back through the Curtain...
JR: Cool Moody has gotten a ladder!
Coach returns...
Coach: Raye is chasing Triple H, and she's crying...
DING! DING! DING! Raye doesn't even notice...
Finkel: Here is your winner...AND YOUR NEW WNW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION...COOL MOODY!
JR: My Gosh!
Coach: What a way to win the IC Title...
JR: Well, before our Main Event, we need to show you how all this happened...
WNWTron shows first match...Triple H Vs. Edge Vs. The Marc, then it shows the Ladder Match where X-Pac won The WNW Title...Then it shows the second match Triple H Vs. Edge Vs. X-Pac. Then it shows X-Pac yelling into the microphone..."I QUIT! WHAT? I QUIT!" Then it shows The Main Event...Triple H Vs. Edge Vs. THE PREZ!!! ...fades...
JR: Now, we will watch this match be set up...
Guys come out with rolls of Barbed Wire and start puting it around the ropes...The Cell lowers...Guys come out with 2x4's and start puting them around the ring apron...Guys start climbing the Cell and puting Barbed Wire all over it...Guys climb to the top of the Cell and put 2x4's around the border, they stay up there...Guys put Barbed Wire, up and down, and even at the top of the Turnbuckle Post...
JR: Wow, look at that, it's not even lit up yet, but it looks as if Hell HAS BEEN RE-LOCATED!
Finkel: The Main Event is a Triple Threat Elimanation Match for The Vacant WNW Heavyweight Championship...
Triple H's Music hits...he doesn't look like he's too happy!
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 251 pounds...he is one half of The WNW Tag Team Champions...TRIPLE H!
The Dudley Boyz Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 279 pounds...he is The OWNER OF WNW...he is the other half of The Tag Team Champions...THE PREZ!
Edge's Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 240 pounds...EDGE!
JR: My GOD!
The Guys at the bottom of The Cell light the fire, and so does the one ontop of The Cell, just as Edge enters and the door is locked...
DING! DING! DING! All three Superstars aren't fighting, but they are looking around at all the fire, and all the Barbed Wire...
Coach: I wonder what they have to be thinking right now, JR!
JR: I'm thinking that I'm glad I ain't in there!
All of the sudden, The Prez throws a punch at the un-expecting Edge, who then falls back into the Barbed Wire ROPES! Edge falls to the ground holding his back, which is already bleeding...He jumps up and starts to chase The Prez, who runs under the ropes, and starts to climb up The Cell...but Edge is stopped by Triple H, who knees Edge in the abdomen...The Prez, who is still climbing, notices that his hands are bleeding, so he jumps off and lands RIGHT ON THE TURNBUCKLE FULL OF WIRE!
JR: By GOD! THE PREZ COULD BE KILLED!
Coach: The Prez just landed stomache first into the turnbuckle full of BARBED WIRE!
Triple H, who saw what just happened to Prez tries to go and help him, but Edge grabs him by the head and gets a BACKDROP! Pin...1...Kick Out! Triple H gets up and catches Edge by suprise with a Neckbreaker...Oww! Triple H gets out of the ring to check on Prez, almost catching fire, Prez is rolling around on the floor, holding his stomache...Triple H tries to help him up, but is met by a STEEL CHAIR FROM BEHIND FROM EDGE! Triple H goes strait into the Cell, Barbed Wire full...
JR: WHAT MORE CAN HAPPEN TONIGHT?
Triple H is holding his face, and turns around seeing Edge trying to light Prez on FIRE! Triple H picks up the chair...WHAM! Edge falls into the flames, and his arm catches on fire! When Edge notices his arm on fire he starts to run around, then he starts to beat his arm on The Cell, only causing more damage from the Wire!
Coach: OH MY GOD! LOOK JR!
JR: MY GOSH, THE CELL IS STARTING ON FIRE!!!!!!!
Done of The Superstars notice at first, as Triple H tries to help The Prez back into the ring, trying to keep him from getting Barbed Wire on his crotch, or even it caught on FIRE! Prez gets in the ring, okay...only because Triple H threw him over the ropes...Edge's arm isn't on fire anymore, because he started to beat the ground with it...
JR: HOLY SHIT!!!
Coach: Oh, my...
JR: Edge has not only the Cell on fire, but THE PADDING ON THE FLOOR HAS CAUGHT ON FIRE!!!
Edge doesn't notice, as he tries to get in the ring...Triple H sees Edge, but is then distracted when he sees fire spreading around The Cell! Edge, who doesn't know yet, SPEARS TRIPLE H! Pin...1...2...Kick Out! The Prez is still holding his stomache, and doesn't realize THAT HELL IS ACUALY RE-LOCATED!
JR: MY GOD, COACH! EVERYONE IN THIS ARENA COULD DIE TONIGHT!
Coach: DON'T THINK LIKE THAT, JR!
Edge gets up, and catches the resting Triple H off guard, and throws him over the top rope, onto the burning floor outside the ring...EDGE-A-CUSION! OWW ON PREZ! Pin...1...2...3! ELIMANATED!
JR: You may not like it, but the only options now, are Triple H, Edge, or STILL VACANT, IF THEY DON'T MAKE IT!!!
The Ref looks horrified as Triple H who is on fire goes under the ring, which is starting on fire, and grabs a fire extinguisher! He puts himself out, and then proceeds to stop the spreading fire on the floor...WHAM! Edge dives from the turnbuckle and Spears Triple H into THE CAMERA MAN!
JR: THE CAMERA MAN'S ON FIRE! TRIPLE H IS ON FIRE! EDGE IS ON FIRE! THE CELL AND THE RING ARE ON FIRE!
Coach: AND THE PREZ IS KNOCKED OUT COLD IN THE MIDDLE OF A BURNING HELL!
Triple H struggles and gets up, he grabs the fire extinguisher, and hits Edge over the head with it, and leaves him outside of the RING TO BURN TO DEATH! Triple H bairly makes it into the ring without getting on fire AGAIN! Edge gets up, and starts running around like a mad FOOL ON FIRE! Triple H grabs the extinguisher, and sprays it on Edge! Howard Finkel, has an extiguisher of his own, and he saves the Camera Man's life!
JR: WILL ANYONE DIE FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TONIGHT?
Coach: I SURE HOPE NOT, JR...
Edge tries to get in the ring, but Triple H knocks him over the HEAD AGAIN!
JR: THAT SICK BASTARD! HE IS JUST SETTING EDGE BACK ON FIRE!!!
But Edge grabs a hold of the burning ring apron, he starts climbing up the wired ropes, and he slithers in the ring...Triple H is watching...Edge gets up...
Coach: LOOK AT EDGE, HE IS BURNED FROM HEAD TO TOE!
JR: MY GOD, MY GOD, MY GOD! SAVE US!!!
Triple H kicks Edge in the gutt...puts his head between his legs, hooks both arms! PEDIGREE!!! WAIT! NO! EDGE PULLS OUT, GRABS TRIPLE H'S HEAD! PULLS THE TIGHTS! OWW! EDGE-A-CUSION ON THE FIRE EXTINUISHER!!!! Pin...1...2......THE REF IS ON FIRE, THE REF IS ON FIRE!!! Triple H is layed out next to The Prez...Edge grabs the fire extinguisher and puts out The Refs leg...Then HE PICKS UP BOTH THE PREZ AND TRIPLE H, who are knocked out...DOUBLE EDGE-A-CUSION!!! OWW!!!! Pin...1...2......THE CELL CAVES IN!!!
Coach: THE CELL IS CAVING IN!!! IT'S BURNING, AND CAVING IN ON OUR WRESTLERS!!!!!!!!
JR looks like he's gonna die...
All of the sudden the US Troops get out of their seats and go to the door...they shoot off the lock with a rifle and go in...
Coach: THEY ARE SAVING OUR WRESTLERS FROM DEATH!!!
Triple H, The Prez, Edge, The Referee, and The Camera Man are all pulled out unconsious...
JR: I don't know what to say...EXCEPT WE STILL DON'T HAVE A WNW CHAMPION...
...Pay-Per-View ends...