WNW Theme Music hits and the fireworks go off as a capacity crowd goes wild and shows us their signs...one says "Why? Cool Moody Why?". Another says "EXTREME RAYE = SLUT". Another says "I now pronounce you Husband and Thing...You may KISS THE SLUT!".
JR: It's Wednesday, and we still haven't heard from The Game about this problem he has with his fiance`, Raye!
Coach: And we still don't know 100%, that Raye did for sure cheat on Triple H!
JR: Should we have an investagation?...
Finkel: The first match is scheduled for two out of three falls, and is a Bikini Match for The WNW Women's Championship...
Lita's Music hits...
Finkel: Making her way to the ring...LITA!
JR: Well, as you can see the ladies will come out in robes...
Coach: And RIGHT BEFORE THE MATCH, THEY WILL TAKE THEM OFF TO REVEAL THEIR BEAUTIFUL BODIES, IN BEAUTIFUL BIKINIS!
"Higher" by Creed hits...
Finkel: Making her way to the ring...she is The WNW Women's Champion...BOO CHICK!
JR: DON'T TOUCH, COACH! THAT IS The Prez's WOMEN NOW!
The Women take off their robes! The men in The Crowd go wild...DING! DING! DING! Boo Chick Knees Lita in the face! OWW! Bloody comes out of Lita's nose...Lita looks PISSED! She kicks Boo in the gut, STUNNER! STUNNER ON BOO! Pin...1...Kick Out! Boo reverses it, and gets ontop of Lita...Boo KNEES HER IN THE FACE AGAIN! OWW! AND AGAIN! OWW! AND AGAIN!!! Lita is now cut open on the side of her head also...Pin...1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!
JR: WOW!
Coach: Well, inbetween falls, they get one minutes breaks...
Finkel: The winner of the FIRST FALL...BOO CHICK!
30 seconds...20...10...5...4...3...2...1...DING! DING! DING! Boo gets ontop of Lita and goes to knee her face again, but Lita moves! Boo gets up and turns around, she gets a kick in the gut and EDGE-A-CUSION! OWW! Pin...1...2...Kick Out! Lita goes uptop as Boo Chick holds her nose...SWANTON BOMB! OWW! Pin...1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!
JR: 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, 55...
Coach: SHUT UP!
JR: Look at Boo, and her poor bloody nose!
Finkel: Here is your WINNER of the SECOND FALL...LITA!
40...30...20...10...5...4...3...2...1...DING! DING! DING! Lita is up on the turnbuckle...Boo still on the ground...
Coach: Do you think her nose is broken, JR?!
MOONSAULT!!! OWW! KNEE IN THE NOSE! KNEE IN THE BROKEN NOSE!!! Pin...1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!
JR: NEW WOMEN'S CHAMP!!!
Finkel: Here is YOUR WINNER...AND THE NEW WNW WOMEN'S CHAMPION...LITA!!!
Coach: Here comes THE PREZ!
The Prez gets in the ring...Lita starts to back up, saying no. The Prez DDT'S HER!!! Then he carries Boo Chick out of the arena...
Finkel: The next match is scheduled for FALLS ANYWHERE, and is for The WNW Hardcore Championship...
Edge's Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 240 pounds...EDGE!
Rob Van Dam's Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 230 pounds...he is The WNW Hardcore Champion...THE MARC!
JR: Did you notice The Prez and Edge both have burns?
Coach: Yeah, look at Edge, burns from head to toe...
JR: Then how the hell can he compete 4 days later in a HARDCORE MATCH OF ALL MATCHES?
DING! DING! DING! The Marc gets an Olympic Slam on Edge...Pin...Kick Out!
JR: NOT EVEN A ONE? THIS GUY USED TO BE MAIN EVENT 24/7! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?!
Edge jolts up and Backdrops The Marc...Pin...1...2...Kick Out! The Marc rolls out of the ring...Edge follows and swings Marc into the steel steps...Edge puts The Marc onto a set up table...then grabs two steel chairs and puts one under The Marc's head! CON-CHAIR-TOE! OWW! Edge takes the busted open Marc off the table...EDGE-A-CUSION THROUGH THE TABLE! OWW!!! Pin...1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!
Finkel: Here is your NEW WNW HARDCORE CHAMPION...EDGE!!!
JR: NEW HARDCORE CHUMP!!!
Coach: CHAMP, JR!
JR: YEAH! BURNED CHAMP!
Coach: Man, WELL WAR! WAS ONE HELL OF A PAY-PER-VIEW!
JR: RUMOR HAS IT, OSAMA BIN LADEN IS MAD ABOUT WNW BEING IN "HIS COUNTRY"!
Coach: YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU, YOU DAMN PEICE OF SHIT!
Finkel: Tonights Main Event is scheduled for one fall, and is for The Vacant WNW European Championship...
Undertaker's Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 328 pounds...UNDERTAKER!
"Crawling" by Linkin Park hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 215 pounds...MIKE EVIL!
JR: Both are making their debuts tonight...
Coach: Undertaker is 113 pounds more than Mike Evil!
DING! DING! DING! Mike Evil Spears down 'Taker and gives him rights to the head...Pin...1...Kick Out! Undertaker gets up and looks ticked...OWW! 'Taker Spears Mike Evil 2 times harder! Mike Evil has the wind knocked out of him...when he gets up he gets a hand to the throte...CHOKESLAM! OWW! Pin...1...2...Kick Out! Mike Evil gets up and catches Undertaker by surprise with his own Chokeslam! OWW! Pin...1...2...Kick Out!
Coach: These guys are almost exactly the same...except for their weight...
When they are both up, Mike turns to face 'Taker, ROCK BOTTOM! OWW! Mike Evil knocked Undertaker down by kicking his knee! PAYBACK'S A BITCH!!!
JR: Evil's version of The Anklelock!
Undertaker crawls for a Rope Break, but Evil drags him back to the middle of the ring...'Taker tries to kick his face, but he moves out of the way everytime...
Coach: HE'S GONNA TAP!!!
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! DING! DING! DING!
Finkel: Here is your winner, and NEW WNW EUROPEAN Champion...MIKE EVIL!
JR: THREE NEW CHAMPIONS TONIGHT! WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
Coach: BYE!
...Show goes off the air...