The show starts with a copyright warning. Then WNW's Theme Music hits, like any ordinary Wednesday Show. Then it shows infamous video of the first atomic bomb being dropped.
Anouncer: The End Is NEAR! Holy HELL! A New Era Will Be Born, Tonight When Wednesday Night Wrestling brings to you...APOCALYPSE! The fireworks display explodes to a 50,000 sold out Crowd in Madison Square Garden...
JR: We're here in Madison Square Garden for Apocalypse...
Coach: And what a night we have, in my opinion, better than last months Pay-Per-View, WAR!
JR: Why do you say that, Coach?
Coach: More matches, I guess...
JR: Yeah, but do you see a huge Main Event tonight, like at WAR!?
Coach: No, I guess not. But ever since before WAR! when X-Pac abandoned his WNW Heavyweight Championship, it has been Vacant...and when the arena was engoulfed in flames at WAR!, after Edge set everything on fire, we still had no Champion. Tonight, WNW will crown the first Heavyweight Champion, as a WOMEN! When the newer Lita, takes on an old timer, when they are compared. For The WNW Heavyweight Championship in a Bra and Panties Match-Up.
JR: Who would ever think that would happen?
Coach: I sure didn't.
The Crowd has now settled down and is ready for the first occation.
Finkel: Our first happening tonight is The Lita/Austin Wedding!
JR: Remember at WAR!, when it was The Prez and Boo Chick/Triple H and Extreme Raye in a Double Wedding, and Cool Moody ruined Triple H and Raye's marriage, then Triple H and Boo Chick were fired?
Coach: How could I forget that sad night?
Austin's Theme hits as The Crowd starts "What?" chants for the Beer Drinking Man in a Tux...
Finkel: First, the Groom...Stone Cold Steve Austin!
The Reverand is already out there, as they await Lita...
"Here Come the Bride" mixed with Lita's Theme hits...
JR: WOW!
Lita comes out in a Wedding Gown.
Coach: It's a see through...
Lita's Gown is see through, and she is wearing a black bra and thong.
JR: That must be for the match later...
Austin looks happy as Lita gets to the setup in the ring...
Reverand: Welcome all to the Lita/Stone Cold Steve Austin Marriage!
Crowd cheers...
Reverand: Lita, do you promise to love and to hold, care for in sickness and in health, the good and bad times...this man?
Lita places the ring on Austin's finger...
Lita: I do!
Reverand: Austin, do you promise to love and to hold, care for in sickness and in health, the good and bad times...this woman?
Austin places the ring on Lita's finger...
Austin: HELL YEAH!
Reverand: I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride...
Austin signals for beer, and is thrown two...he gives one to Lita and opens his, she opens her, they hit beers and drink. Then they kiss...
Crowd goes wild as Austin's Music hits and Lita and Austin walk back up the ramp happy...
JR: Well, not the most orthidox wedding in the book, but where these two love to work together...Wednesday Night Wrestling.
Coach: (Sounds like he was crying) That was beautiful.
JR: Well, next we get to find out what The Prez has been talking about, he keeps shoving what Trish says, right in her face. And he says that there is going to be a big surprise, and that Trish needs to figure it out...
Finkel: The next contest is No Disqualifacation Match and is scheduled for one fall...
Trish Stratus' Theme hits...and she comes out in a tight leather outfit as usuall...
Finkel: The challenger...making her way to the ring...she is one half of The WNW Tag Team Champions...TRISH STRATUS!
JR: Well, she looks good tonight!
Coach: I agree, but not as good as Lita did...
The Dudley Boyz' Theme hits...out walks Prez in his wrestling outfit as he yells at the Crowd that he will surprise them...
DING! DING! DING! Trish bounces off the ropes, but The Prez sees her coming so he gets down on the ring. Trish bounces off the opposite side of the ropes, Prez jolts up, just in time to roll her up into a pin...1...2...Kick out by Trish. Trish gets up, as does Prez. But The Prez thinks faster and DDT's Trish into the mat...1...2...Kick out again by Trish. Trish tries to get up, but Prez hooks her legs up rolls her up again, pulling the tights and smileing when he sees her thong...1...2...Trish kickes out again, obviously getting frustrated.
JR: Did you see The Prez staring at Trish's blue thong?
Coach: Yeah, why?
JR: I don't know. I got a weird feeling about it though.
Trish gets up and scrambles out of the ring before Prez can pin her again...She grabs the ring bell, taking advantage of the No DQ Rules. When she turns around she is met by The Prez, who kicks her in the gut. She drops the bell and The Prez grabs her and Snap Suplexs her right on the floor...
Coach: OWW! I think that's all for Trish...
The Prez smiles and rolls her into the ring...Then he smiles again and grabs a steel chair...
JR: Oh, no! Don't tell me he's gonna use it on Trish, she's a WOMEN!
Prez brings it in the ring, Trish is still down but is pleading alittle telling Prez not to do it. Prez drops the chair, and pulls up Trish. Trish tricks Prez into a Jawbreaker, and pins his ass also...1...Kick out.
Coach: Uh, oh! She is gonna pay now!
Trish is getting up as Prez grabs the steel chair, when Trish turns around she recieves a CLUNK to her skull! The Prez laughs as The Crowd boo's him.
Coach: So where is this big surprise, anyways?
JR: I have no clue anymore...
The Prez still has the steel chair in hand...he lifts it up and SLAMS it right into Trish once again. He laughs more as The Crowd boo's him even more. He proceeds and gets out of the ring, he drops the chair on the floor and grabs a STEEL STEP!
JR: OH, GOD!
Coach: SOMEONE HAS TO HELP TRISH!
The Prez gets in the ring and is really grining now...Trish is already knocked out. The Prez lifts the stairs above Trish's head...
JR: MY GOD...STOP IT PREZ!!!!
The Prez drops the stairs, but right next to Trish's head.
Coach: Oooh, man that was close!
JR: Your telling me, one inch off of his aim and Prez could have killed her!
The fans start throwing beer cans and stuff at The Prez...Prez smiles a real huge smile, and starts laughing...THE CROWD IS GOING BALISTIC! Prez gets down and looks at Trish, he is ontop of her, and he can't stop laughing...
JR: THAT SICK ASS, WHAT IS HE GONNA DO NOW?!
Prez looks at Trish's face. Her lifeless face has no answer to him though, cause she is knocked out. The Prez grabs Trish's head!
Coach: THE WAY HE IS HOLDING HER HEAD...IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS GOING TO BREAK HER NECK, JR!
JR: OH MY GOD, STOP THIS MAN, SOMEONE!!!
The Prez has a hold of Trish's head and isn't laughing, nor smileing no more. The Crowd is still pissed, but not throwing anything.
JR: OH, GOD! THERE IS THE SURPRISE FOR YA, COACH!
The Prez has a lip lock on the knocked out Trish...and is acting like she is responding...
Coach: SICK! JUST SICK!
Prez then gets up and leaves the ring as The Crowd is really, really mad now...DING! DING! DING!
Finkel: This match is a Draw...a No Contest.
JR: Well, I see the light now, Coach. The Prez has some sick obcession with Trish, and enjoys making her feel pain, then kissing her. YUCK!
Coach: I know, JR. It is sad. Prez needs help!
JR: Well, the show must go on. And the next match is gonna be a banger. Although Stone Cold seems to be concentarting more on Edge, then Mike Evil, I'm sure that this will still be a great match...
Finkel: The next match is a Non-Title Hardcore Contest...
Crowd cheers...
Austin's Theme hits as he comes out in his regular attire along with his new bride, Lita!
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...along with one half of The WNW Tag Team Champions and his wife, Lita...weighing in at 252 pounds...STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
"Crawling" by Linkin Park hits and out comes Mike Evil with a worried look on his face for Trish...
JR: Well, the EMT's have already taken away Trish, but you know this will have a real big effect on Mike Evil, and this match...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 215 pounds...he is The WNW European Champion...MIKE EVIL!
DING! DING! DING! Mike Evil bounces off the ropes as "What?" chants distract Austin. SPEAR! Mike Evil gets up and bounces off the ropes as Austin gets up...ANOTHER SPEAR! The Crowd has a lot of mixed reactions in it, being that Stone Cold and Mike Evil both are good guys...Mike Evil gives Stone Cold some hard right shots to his head, then proceeds to the pin...1...Kick out by Austin. Mike Evil gets up and Austin rolls out of the ring...Mike Evil follows and Austin sences this.
Coach: The Rattlesnake knows Evil is on his trail, and he's gonna bite soon.
Austin grabs a steel chair and quickly swings it at Evil, but Evil ducks and catches The Rattlesnake by the throat...CHOKESLAM!
JR: MY, GOD! INTO THE CROWD IT GOES!
Austin is Chokeslamed by Evil onto the concrete floor on the other side of the security rails...The action spills into the Crowd as Mike Evil gets into the Crowd also, and pulls up Austin. Mike Evil delivers some more shots to the head as Austin stumbles to his knees.
Coach: I'm surprised Evil is winning after what just happened to Trish...
JR: Me too, Coach!
The Crowd plays touchy-feely with Mike Evil and Stone Cold as they go back to the rails...Evil climbs over and grabs Austin by the head, and flips him over the rail onto his ass. As Austin recovers, Evil goes over to the opposite side and sets up a table!
JR: I have to wonder what that is for...
Evil goes back to Austin who is up, Austin delivers a few shots to Evil's head, but Evil blocks a punch and punches Austin. As Austin holds his eye, Evil picks up Austin and drops him ribs first into the security rail!
Coach: You know what I like about WNW, JR?
JR: What, Coach?
Coach: I like the fact that we don't have to sit down there and have them use our table, and do other things to us sometimes.
JR: Yes, I guess it is nice up here in The WNW Commentary Booth.
Evil picks up the ring bell, that had been put back after Trish took it, and delivers a shot with it to the gut of Austin. Austin falls to the ground and Mike Evil pins him...1...2...Kick out by Steve Ausin. Austin makes a desprate attemp and runs to the table Mike set up, Mike runs after Austin, but Austin jumps on Mike for the Lou Thesz Press and hits a few shots to Mike's head.
JR: This is a better match than I thought it would be, since Trish is Mike Evil's manager.
Coach: Yeah, it was pretty sad what Prez did earlier...
JR: Speaking of Trish, I just was told that she is in the Hospital, here in New York, and she has gained conciousness.
Austin gets up and waits for Mike to get up also, as Lita cheers on her man. Austin tries to pick up Evil for the Vertical Body Press, but Mike slips out of it, and goes for It's TIME!
JR: Mike is attempting his version of the Last Ride through that table!
Coach: Austin is screwed now...
But, Austin slips out of it too and does get that Vertical Body Press...He presses Evil up and down above his head, much to the fans, and Lita's delight. All of the sudden, Edge pops out from under the ring with a steel chair in hand, and low blows Austin with it!!
JR: DAMN IT!
Coach: Well, they broke his hand, he deserves it...
JR: They?
Coach: Yeah, him and Moody...
JR: So, what...I hate interference...
Mike Evil smiles at Edge, his friend. Edge smiles back and together they put Austin's arm inbetween the sitting part of the chair, and the handle, with it folded up!
JR: NOOO!
Mike Evil jumps off the steel steps onto the chair as Edge holds Austin down...SNAP!
JR: THEY BROKE AUSTIN'S HAND!
Coach: Revenge is a BITCH, JR! HA HA!
Edge runs away, as The Ref can do nothing about it, being it's Hardcore...Then Mike Evil picks up Austin. Lita is begging him to call the match off and leave him alone, but Mike Evil puts Austin's head between his legs and once again goes for IT'S TIME THROUGH THE TABLE! Up Austin goes, but before he goes through the table, broken hand and all, The Prez pops up on The WNWTron and says...
Prez: Hey, Evil...I heard Trish is in the Hospital! That little tramp is all mine now, and there is nothing you can do about it...HA HA HA HA!
The WNWTron fades as Evil processes the information Prez just shouted at him from The Tron...STUNNER!!! STUNNER ON EVIL...Pin...1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!
JR: I didn't care really who won, but DAMN PREZ ANYWAY!
Coach: I'd watch your mouth if I were you, JR!
JR: Shut up, Coach!
Finkel: Here is your winner...STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!
Lita and Austin celebrate as Mike Evil tries to break the table with his own two hands in feury, but doesn't.
JR: Well, even though The Prez is SICK AND TWISTED, he did bring up a good point tonight at The Pre-Pay-Per-View Meeting. That was that since The Heavyweight Championship Match-Up isn't anything big as far as stipulations go, he believes it shouldn't be the Main Event!
Coach: So, the Double Ladder Match is, then?
JR: Yep!
Coach: Well, everyone. Thank you for joining us, we'd like to let you know that, the next time we will be on Pay-Per-View is March 24th...Exactly one month from now, and we will be having the biggest Pay-Per-View of the year...EFedMania!
JR: That's right, Coach! Now, last Wednesday Extreme Raye and Lita went at it for Lita's Women's Belt and Lita lost her belt to Raye.
Coach: Next, will Raye win again, and have Double Gold, or will Lita have something else to celebrate at her Honeymoon, and take home the Heavyweight Championship?
JR: Well, even though Raye is a bitch, and Lita is a sweet and sexy thing, we can't deny some fans don't give a damn, cause it is A BRA AND PANTIES MATCH!
Finkel: The next match is a Bra and Panties Contest, you win by striping down your opponent to their Bra and Panties! And is for The WNW Heavyweight Championship...
Crowd goes nuts...
Lita's Music hits and she comes out for the third time in the night...
Finkel: Making her way to the ring...she is one half of The WNW Tag Team Champions, and the wife of Stone Cold Steve Austin...LITA!
"Control" by Puddle of Mudd hits...
The Crowd boo's like mad...
Finkel: Making her way to the ring...she is The WNW Women's Champion...EXTREME RAYE!
JR: Well, lets get ready for some sexy women...
DING! DING! DING! Raye grabs Lita's left arm and starts to club her shoulder, twisting her arm, and more...
Coach: Raye is obviously setting Lita up for Old School...
After Raye believes Lita has had enough she starts climbing the the ropes, she then starts walking them, then jumps off and gives Lita a HUGE club to the back, for Old School. As Lita tries to hold her back, Raye pulls off her shirt...The Crowd goes wild, at least the men.
JR: That's a good think, yet it's a bad thing...
Coach: Why? Let me guess. Good cause we see Lita's body. Bad cause Raye is winning...
JR: Right on, Coach.
Lita gets up as Extreme Raye signals for the Tombstone Pildriver, Raye's finisher. The Crowd boo's that. Raye tries to set up Lita for the Tombstone, but Lita kicks Raye in the gut and gives her, her husband's finisher...THE STONE COLD STUNNER! Lita goes to pull off Raye's pants, and suceeds for awhile, untill Raye kicks her back into the ropes. Lita come back after bouncing off, and Raye gets up and locks on the Sleeper Hold on Lita...
Coach: Oh, no!
JR: Is the gay asses gonna win every match tonigh, Coach?
Coach: Well, lets see. The Wedding went fine, Prez beat Trish to death practicly then kissed her, and then distracted Mike Evil into the loss, and now this...
The Referee reminds Extreme Raye that this is a Bra and Panties Match and that the Sleeper Hold will not be counted, just like in her Ladder Match. Raye ignores The Referee though and keeps on the Hold untill Lita is surely out of it...Then Raye stands up and signals, once again, for The Tombstone Pildriver! Raye picks up Lita, puts her over her shoulder, then puts her in position, and BAM! TOMBSTONE PILDRIVER TO LITA! Raye grabs Lita's pants and she rips them off!
JR: GOD DAMMIT! JUST LIKE THAT IT'S OVER!!!
But The Referee tells Raye that one of Lita's practicly lifeless legs was on the ropes, and to put her pants back on...Raye gets in The Referee's face... Raye: Dammit, Ref! She isn't even awake, and you call Rope Break? You sure aren't fair, you piece of SHIT! Raye tosses The Referee out of the ring, gets out of the ring and grabs a pair of brass knuckles from under the padding on the floor, puts the padding back, and gets in the ring, with Lita, who has awoken and put her pants back on, and has gotten up, trying to clear her head, not even knowing the match is still on...
Coach: RUN LITA!
Lita turns around...BAM! BRASS KNUCKLES TO THE LIP OF LITA...Raye chucks them out of the ring, as The Referee gets back in the ring... Referee: Don't do that to me again, or I'll DISQUALIFY YOU!
JR: You should right now, DAMMIT!
Raye signals a third time for the Tombstone, and BAM! She does it once again...The Ref sees Lita's bloody lip from the knuckles, but believes they are from the Tombstone. Raye pulls the pants off once again as The Crowd starts throwing stuff at her, as well as they did to The Prez...DING! DING! DING!
JR: GOD, DAMMIT!
Coach: Come on, everytime someone loses that you like you say that, that's a bad thing, JR!
JR: I know...
Finkel: Here is your winner, and The NEW WNW Heavyweight Champion...EXTREME RAYE!
Coach: THAT CHEATING PEICE OF CRAP!
JR: Yeah, well...there is nothing we can do about it now...Raye is WNW Champion...
Coach: Yep, but up next in OUR MAIN EVENT, is a "Take the Title, You get it!" Match.
JR: Well, in English, it goes something like this...(Clears his throat.)...Cool Moody defends The WNW Intercontinental and Hardcore Championships in a Match where there are only two ladders outside of the ring. Now say, W.A.C. gets in the ring and grabs The IC Championship from one Ladder, then Moody grabs The Hardcore Championship from the other. Then the match is over, and they keep those titles.
Finkel: The Main Event for Apocalypse is a "Take the Title, You get it!" Triple Threat Match for The WNW Hardcore and Intercontinental Championships...
The WNW Set-Up Crew come out and lower the two ropes that will hang the titles, then they grabs two ladders, and put them on opposite sides of the ring...
Edge's Music hits and out comes Edge to an accepting Crowd...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 240 pounds...EDGE!
Val Venis' Theme hits and out comes the nasty W.A.C. to most of the Crowd booing...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 172 pounds...W.A.C....WINNING ASS CHAMPION!
Coach: I just remembered that this guy is like anerexic or something. 7', 172 pounds only? DAMN, JR...IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?
JR: Must be...
Coach: Does this guy ever eat? Does he ever drink?
JR: Well, he must drink since his finisher is "Piss in Face"...
Y2J's Music hits...
Finkel: Making his way to the ring...weighing in at 260 pounds...he is The WNW Intercontinental and Hardcore Champion...COOL MOODY!
JR: Well, here goes Apocalypse's Main Event...
DING! DING! DING! W.A.C. and Moody start to double team on Edge. They Irish Whip Edge, then give him a Double Team Flapjack hard into the mat! Cool Moody looks at W.A.C., W.A.C. nods and upzips his pants and "wings it out". Edge is holding his broken hand...OWW!!! W.A.C. PISSES ALL OVER EDGE! BUT, THEN W.A.C. LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO MALFUNCTION AND STARTS TO PISS ALL OVER COOL MOODY TOO! COOL MOODY WON'T TAKE THIS, HE GRABS W.A.C., WHO JUST STOPPED PISSING. AND CLOSELINES HIM FROM BEHIND, HE THEN PUTS THE COOL MOODY CROSSFACE ON W.A.C., WHO TAPS AND SCREAMS IN PAIN, AS EDGE GRABS A LADDER...
JR: W.A.C. sure has a small penis.
Coach: HA HA!
JR: What?
Coach: I just can't believe you just said that...
JR: Why?
Coach: I've seen you in the Dressing Room, JR.
JR blushes...
Edge brings the Ladder in and sets it up under The WNW Hardcore Championship, and starts climbing...His broken hand slows him down a bit though, as Moody gets up and grabs Edge's ankle, and applies and Anklelock to it. Edge taps with his hand that isn't broken, as he tries to pull up the Ladder, but with a broken hand, and the other one tapping, how far can ya get? W.A.C. finally gets up and Knees Moody in the balls...
Crowd: OWWW!!!
JR: I wish this guy was gone, he is just a pervert!
Coach: No kidding...
Moody falls to the mat and Edge gives W.A.C. the thumbs up and proceeds up the Ladder. But Loser Ass Champion won't take that, and goes after Edge and yanks him off the Ladder. Edge lands on the mat with a THUD and is picked up by W.A.C. who whips him to the ropes...W.A.C. goes for the Big Boot, but Edge ducks it and gets the Backdrop on W.A.C.! Edge rolls out of the ring, as W.A.C. lays there. Edge grabs two steel chairs and gets back in the ring. He hits W.A.C. with one in the back so he doesn't try and get up, then proceeds to put it under W.A.C.'s head. Then, he SLAMS the other one into his head, for the One-Man-Con-Chair-Toe. Edge pulls up W.A.C. throbbing head first, and give his already busted open head, the EDGE-A-CUSION!
JR: Leave the whimp alone, will ya Edge...
As all of this is going on, sneaky little Moody climbs the Ladder a retains his Hardcore Championship...
Finkel: And STILL WNW Hardcore Champion...COOL MOODY!
As Cool Moody kicks the shit out of W.A.C., Edge grabs the other Ladder and runs into the ring with it...WHAM! He knocks Cool Moody down with the Ladder! Moody rolls out of the ring, as Edge beats on W.A.C. with the Ladder...Edge then sets up the Ladder and starts to climb for The IC Title...
Coach: Is Edge gonna get it, JR?
OHH! Cool Moody hits Edge from behind in the balls with a ring bell...
JR: How did Edge even carry that Ladder, anyway?
Edge falls back to the mat, and Cool Moody picks him up and gives him the Double Powerbomb! OHH! Moody gets the pin, but The Referee tells him no...
Coach: Moody gets dumber every match.
JR: They say Moody and Raye would make a terrible couple, well I think they'd make a great one. They are both stuborn asses!
W.A.C. finaly gets up and goes for the Big Boot on Moody, but Moody ducks and W.A.C. gets him little dick in the ropes. Then he falls over them cause he is so tall...This distracted Moody though, and Edge grabs Moody and tosses him over the ropes too...Edge starts climbing for the IC Belt...
JR: Will he get it this time?
W.A.C. doesn't even touch Moody, as Moody gets back in the ring and sends Edge and the Ladder down...Edge falls out of the ring and hits the security baracade. Moody takes the chance and starts climbing, after setting the Ladder back up of course. W.A.C. gets back in the ring with a steel chair, taunting Edge to get back in with it...Edge does so, too. W.A.C. swings, but misses and gets Speared by Edge RIGHT INTO MOODY'S LADDER! Moody falls off like Edge, but instead goes through the table for The Mike Evil/Austin Match!
Coach: MOODY JUST WENT THROUGH A TABLE!
W.A.C. pulls out the penis once again, as a desperate messure, but Edge just SLAMS a steel chair into W.A.C.'s PENIS! Winning Ass Champion falls to the mat as Edge starts climbing the Ladder for The IC Title for a third time...Edge goes slow, being hurt and his broken hand. Moody atemps to get up, but falls back down, breaking the table alittle more! W.A.C. is still holding his poor little penis, and looks like he's about to cry. DING! DING! DING!
JR: YES!
Coach: HELL YEAH!
Finkel: Now that both titles have been taken, the results are this: STILL WNW Hardcore Champion...COOL MOODY! AND NEW WNW Intercontinental Champion...EDGE!
Coach: Edge got the better title!
JR: I'm just glad that Edge didn't start a fire!
Coach: We'll see you Wednesday everybody, and hopefully at EFedMania!
...Show ends.