WNW's Theme hits, then it is replaced by Friday's Theme, as that ends the fireworks crash through out the arena. Which sends the Crowd into a frenzy, as JR and Coach take their seats...
JR: Here we are, still fresh out of The X Factor.
Coach: Let me remind you, that we have a NEW Champion.
JR: Drake McCallister the Third was paralyzed...
Coach: The nGo came back, when Hulk Hogan showed he isn't a red and yellow man, but a BLACK AND WHITE MAN!
JR: And too much more, we'll end up taking up the whole beginning of the show!
Coach: Not like it matters, JR, we only have one match tonight!
JR: People need to head over to The Prez's Office, or should I say The nGo Locker Room, and request us some more matches, or some day we aren't gonna even have one!
Coach: No, Prez will just cancel Friday, remember?
JR: That's right...Remember back when we used to have a match a day?
Coach: That was pure hell!
JR: Not only were we way behind, all our talent were about to croak over and die!
Coach: Well, let's change the subject to happier things, like OUR NEXT PAY-PER-VIEW!
JR: We have no information to say about that yet, Coach!
Coach: Well, I DO! I went to The nGo Locker Room today to interview The Prez, but before I could knock, I heard him talking about the next Pay-Per-View...
JR: What's it called?
Coach: It's gonna be called Battle Royal!
JR: Cool, name a Pay-Per-View after a match...what a nice idea!
Coach: Prez was telling Hogan how just like WWE has their Royal Rumble's and King of the Ring Tournaments, WNW should have something to look forward to every year also!
JR: So the match is a Battle Royal?
Coach: Yes, a 5 Man Battle Royal, where the winner faces The WNW Heavyweight Champion at the next Pay-Per-View!
JR: So...you have to be eliminated, or what?
Coach: Well, that's when The Prez say me peeping through the door and almost fired me, so I don't know anymore...
JR: Sweet, well, anyways...
Coach: You probably wish he would of fired me, huh, JR?
JR: You can bet your ass on that...We'll be right back!
~~~Wednesday Commercial~~~
~~~Commercials~~~
Finkel: Tonight's Main Event, is scheduled for one fall and it is for The WNW European Championship...
"Bodies" by Drowning Pool hits...
Finkel: Making her way to the ring, the challenger...PUNKY!
Coach: Well, I guess since she can't face Francine anymore, untill the Women's Title switches hands, she want's European Gold!
JR: Damn right!
Coach: JR...Don't mock me!
JR: I'm not!
Coach: Oh, bull...You JACK-OFF!
JR gets out of his seat, and makes his way to the ring...
JR takes the mic from Finkel!
JR: Excuse me everyone, but may I have a quick word? You see...Ever since Michael Cole left his commentary possition here in WNW, I have had to sit next to that LOSER COACH!
Crowd: OWWW!!!
JR: He acusses me of the nastiest things, and then he goes and says, "I agree!" and, "No doubt!", just like Austin says, "What?"! It is really annoying, so I'm proposing a match, Prez! Jim Ross Versus Johnathan Coachman!
Crowd cheers...
Coach: Uhh...
JR: The winner stays...and the loser has to be replaced by COLE!
Coach stands up and grabs a mic for the arena...
Coach: YOU GOT YOURSELF A MATCH YOU CHUBBY-ASS-JAKKER!
Crowd cheers!
JR: Good! I'll see you at the Pay-Per-View, BITCH!
~~~Commercials~~~
When the show comes back, "Drips" by Eminem is playing, and The European Champion is in the ring with the challenger.
JR: Well, I am backstage, and CANNOT HEAR THAT BASTARD! THANK GOD!
Coach: I'm up in the booth everyone...I'm not too happy. I was just messing with JR, and then he goes and jacks off without giving me a chance to leave at first. Rrrr!
DING! DING! DING! Punky swings Snake Eyez to the ropes, and goes to the other side, then comes back at him, only to recieve a DDT! Cover...1...2...Kick out!
Coach: Close call!
JR: I agree! Ha ha! I know he can't hear me, but it's funny as hell when I do it!
When they both get to their feet Punky Bitch Slaps the tastebuds right out of Snake Eyez' mouth. She then jumps on his back and applies the Sleeper! Snake Eyez flips her over him and in front of him though!
Coach: Did he just say, "Save it for later, baby?"?!
JR: Ha ha! We got the horniest European Champion yet!
Coach: JR is probably talking crap about me that jack-off dick-faced son of a bitch!
Snake Eyez then pulls Punky to her feet, grabs her and DELIVERS THE SNAKE ATTACK!
JR: A nice Spinning Spinebuster by Snake Eyez! I wonder if that's what he calls his balls, or...
Coach: JR probably just made some gay comment! AND I MEAN...GAY!!
As Punky holds her back, Snake Eyez climbs uptop and "lays it all out" for Punky with a Swanton Bomb!
Crowd: OWW!!
Snake Eyez then pulls up the limp Punky and Snake ATTACKS HER AGAIN!
Coach: NOW HE'S SAYING THAT THAT'S HOW ROUGH SHE'S GONNA GET IT TONIGHT! HA HA!!!
JR: Coach is a puss...
Voice: No doubt!
JR: WHAT?!
Coach: WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
Voice: HA HA HA!
You hear a click...
Coach: WHO THE HELL JUST CUT INTO MY LINE?
JR: WHO THE?
Cover...1...2...3! DING! DING! DING!
Finkel: Here is your WINNER...and STILL WNW European Champion...SNAKE EYEZ!
Crowd lightly boo's...
JR: Who the fuck was that, anyway?
Click...
Voice: Good question, JR, YOU JACKOFF!
The Voice then turns off the voice changer, and speaks...
Voice: HEY, JR!
Coach: PREZ! IT'S YOU, YOU BITCH! WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME JR? I'M NOT THAT JACKIN' FREAK!
Prez: I just wanted to let both of you know your match is signed! You can't hear eachother, but I can hear both of you...AND YOU BOTH SUCK!
Click...
JR: Bastard...
Coach: All I know is JR is gonna get his ass handed to him at The Battle Royal!
...Show ends.