| Don't sue me!! I own nothing! Specially not the characters in this fic! I wrote this on some strange sugar rush, so enjoy! **************************************************************** Pikachu was strolling down a street, completely oblivious to the fact that he was being sickeningly cute as always. His trainer, ash ketchup or something, was just realizing how bad pikachus really were. "You know, pikachu, you really are a crappy pokemon." "Chu? Pi pika?" "Yeah, just like that. How the hell am I supposed to know what you are saying?" "Cha! Pi pika chu! Pika pika!!!!" "Will you just give it up? Speak English for once!" "You know as well as I do that I can't say anything but my own name!" Pikachu yelled. "Umm.... What the hell just happened?" "I got sick of your damn pika pika bullshit too." The narrator said. "Well, I guess that solves one problem. Now what the hell do you mean by I am a crappy pokemon, Ash?" "I mean that it is only by sheer luck that you ever win! Remember Brock's onix? You won cause it got wet. You beat raichu because you were faster. And you have lost to a friggin' eevee, for chrissake!" "Well, maybe I wouldn't suck so much if I evolved, you dimwit!" "YOU are the one that decided not to!" "Well I thought that you didn't want me too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" The two continued on like this for several minutes (remember that in the pokemon world, time is relative, so several minutes could mean 3-4 days if you want.), then realized that they had forgotten what they were fighting about. "What were we fighting about, pikachu?" "I don't know." "Didn't I just cover that?" the narrator inserted, slightly irritated. "Ummm.... I guess so....." ash replied. Anyone who could hear this sweatdropped. "Anyway, let's go get that badge, pikachu!" "Yeah!" Out of nowhere, a golem appeared in the middle of the street. So pikachu thunderbolted it and it burst into a million pieces. "How do you keep doing that?" "Well, I never read the pokemon rulebook so I don't know that electric attacks don't work on ground types." "Oh. Ok." Ash said, seemingly fine with this answer. They continued to walk down the street, thunderbolting golems and the odd onix along the way. Just then, the narrator decided to have some fun, and sent dilandau flying down at them on a charizard. Dilandau screamed "Look at my new toy! It's my new favorite! It will help me get revenge on you for ruining my beautiful face! Cheek! Cheek! CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!", as he stroked the scar on his (duh!) cheek. "ummm.... Aren't you supposed to be killing van, not me?" Ash asked. Dilamdau stopped in midair to think about this. "So? You both are stupid idiots with more dumb luck than anything! Burner, Flamethrower!!!!" he screamed, with pure glee in his voice. "CHEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" the flamethrower attack hit head on, and ash was turned charcoal black. However, he didn't die. "What??? Why aren't you dead?" "Because I'm the star, you fool." Ash replied. "Pikachu, thunderbolt." The electric attack missed dilly, but hit team rocket, who went flying into outer space, screaming "Looks like team rocket is blasting off again!" "Growl, Bark, go!" Dilandau yelled, sending out a ninetails and an arcanine. Fire blast now!" Dual pillars of burning blair witchiness went flying straight at pikachu, but missed because pikachu was too small. "Damn you and your dumb luck!" "Well take this! Pikachu, thunder attack now!" a pillar of electric energy would have blasted the arcanine and ninetails, but was redirected to a nearby lightning rod, and caused a major power shortage in the entire city. The only light for them to battle by was the red light cast by the fire pokemon's coats. (did I forget to mention it is nighttime? Cause it is.) This caused a hellish glow that was rather suitable for Dilandau. "Flame trio, go!" Dilandau screamed with girlish glee. Out popped a moltres, a ho oh, and an entei. "Everyone, Goodness greatness great balls of fire attack, now! On the narrator!" the last narrator was burned to a crisp and a new one had to be sent in to continue the story. "And if that little twit still has his dumb luck, the same thing will happen to you, you little idiot!" Dilandau yelled. The narrator mumbled "Oh, okay" and went back to writing. "Hey, that's not fair!" Ash yelled. "Pikachu, thundershock him!" the puny amount of electicity that the rat generated was more appropriate for something that crappy. "Ha! Now it is time for my best attack. Magcargo, Magmar, Flareon, Rapidash, Houndoom, go!" "Hey! You are only supposed to use six pokemon! And besides, what about typholosion?" "Well, typhlosion is stupid and as for six pokemon, only the narrator can stop me. And is he going to?" "Nope. I don't like being well done." The narrator said. "Good answer. Now everyone, time for the real show! Big burning flame dragon kill stuff good nothing lives everything burns get revenge for my cheek cheek CHEEEEEEK attack now!!!!!!!" the entire city erupted into flames and ash, pikachu, Dilandau, all of Dilandau's pokemon and the narrator were killed. Have a good day. Well, don't flame me. Technically you can't. Only typhlosions are left and they suck. But if you somehow get a fire pokemon back, don't flame me please!!! |