(Introductory Remark: The previous lectures had a heavy
impact on Khalid, and I had to calm him down. This is the response to my caring patience and emancipatory lovingness.
Anyhow, Enjoy Khalid At His Best! Franz)

Date:   Sat, 22 Mar 1997 14:55:47 -0500
From: khalid.ali@utoronto.ca
X-Sender: khalid.ali@log3
To: John Tennyson Lee Franz <lee@faces.ula.ve>
Subject: A little bit on what's on my mind.

Hello Franz,

Thanks for your polite response especially considering how
"acid-tongued" or perhaps tortured my reply was. Perhaps it is unusual of me to express myself in the the way I did. But, this had not so much to do with what you or I said but more to do with the present conditions one has to confront on a daily basis.

Clearly, more than ever before particularly during this
era, the ruling class are caught as usual on the pedestal of self denial, a process of gross manipulation and deceit, a process of distortion, lies and terror. This they achieve through their bully whip (through the State and media) as well as their cohorts and yes men dedicated to placate their dirty deeds of mass murder, hunger, torture and greed for the sake of mess of pottage.
 
Yes, I am angry and fed up with this orgy of lies and deceit which I have to belch and to have the undeniable experience of having to taste the sour residues. Everyday, they are finding some ways or means to deny reality. Thanks to us because of our Alice in Wonderland mentality we are caught as their cohorts because we all remain silent while they continue to pillage and run rampage on our minds and bodies. This psychological rape of our minds and thinking is imbedded from centuries of experiences on how to placate and distort
reality from actuality. This is bestiality at its zenith.
 
The solution is to act now. It is now or never or we will be
buried in the same orgy of self denial. In this era of capitalist shit it is almost impossible to depend on anyone for anything. Every physical action is done calculably for some rewards. If you have nothing to give well, then you have nothing to get. It is like a poker game the winner takes it all. Our personalities, attributes and behaviour are all patterned from the service based mentality culture which exist in the corner store and as practised in businesses. As long as you enter inside the store like the Macy's for example, you are greeted with an apparently sincere pleasant Hi, how are you or what can I do for you?
 
Unfortunately for many of us who are starved for attention or long for a pleasant "human contact," because of the alienating and exploitative conditions which we experience under capitalism we become victims of a rat trap. We long for the pleasantries (as expressed in the centre of business) because it is like a therapy for the mind. However, we do not realize that the pleasantries exchanged are carefully tailored to make you feel better or nice about yourself so as to encourage you to spend provided you want to continue your "therapy"- you find yourself consuming and spending until you give up all you have
for a few material things, and for the fake pleasantries involved.

This voluptuous culture between business and consumers is also
practised by the political spin doctors and propaganda specialists to create a hegemonic agenda first, to make you feel good about your environment - in other words to win your consent, then to chop you up to pieces by preaching and then justifying the need for sacrifices, patience, a small pain for a future big gain, etc, while they bulldozed you with ideology and lies.
 
Unfortunately "human" relations are based on the same
principles, at work, and the broader society. Trust, love,
emancipation and freedom are all merely theoretical diatribes that cannot be accomplished and are only expressive and descriptive adjuncts in its appearance for self satisfaction and intellectual prowess. Solution - "human" revolution of the "being," then mass revolution.
 
I hope I make some sense in what I am trying to say. The sun
light somehow blocks the screen from my view- maybe there are some words missing here and there. Do take care and thanks to Cyberspace that I have someone to vent with. There are few people one can discuss any serious issue with. I am always eternally grateful for you my dear buddy. Drink a
jugo de mora and salute the world in its sad decadence but also in hope that we can change things,
Love as always.

Khalid.