2/8/00
Went to see Mom for the first time at Wandering Oaks today. As soon as I pulled up in front of the facility, I was shocked. Nothing like Oak Park that's for sure. The first things I noticed were a garage door & a storefront with a Wandering Oaks sign in the window. I knew I was at the right place & if first impressions are important, then all I could think of was: "how I was going to get her out of there".
She was out in their secured backyard by herself. No wig/no dentures. She had on a pink sweatsuit that looked nice. The facility, though, is what I call "a dump". Everything is Salvation Army or worse. All I could think of was: "Oh my God, what did I do to her?"
One bright spot...she's a chatty Kathy now. Apparently, no chemical restraints is allowing her own personality to resurface. It was so wonderful to have her talking even though a good deal of it didn't make any sense. Irregardless of the "bright spot", I CRIED ALL THE WAY HOME.
2/15/00
Dad went with me to visit Mom today. He agreed that the place was pretty shabby so I was glad to hear that had not exaggerated & was correct in that assessment. Still no wig or dentures. I don't think they even realized that she normally wore a wig & had dentures. Let me modify that. Tamika did but Kathy, the caregiver, didn't.Took pictures with the digital camera and then sat at a picnic table in the back yard & talked.
Dad agreed that I needed to find another facility so we stopped at Claire Bridge Cottage on the way home. They have rooms available & are willing to admit her.
2/16/00
Called Carol about conditions at Wandering Oaks & need to move her to a different facility. She agreed that was "no place for Mom" & wasn't surprised. Said: "it seemed too good to be true." I should call Yvonne (owner) today & inform her of my plan to move Mom.2/17/00
Called Wandering Oaks today. Yvonne is at a conference & will call me back. Talked to Tamika for a while & shared my thoughts about the condition of the facility & possible move for Mom. She was very gracious about my concerns & assured me they were making every effort to get Mom reaccustomed to wearing her dentures.2/18/00
Yvonne called from her conference today. She was very understanding about my feelings & said: "we're not pretty, but we're functional. We are the only facility in the nation that doesn't use chemical or physical restraints. She feels that if I was to move Mom again at this point, I would push her into the next stage". She promised we would talk further when she returned.2/22/00
Visited Waterman Village Alzheimer's Unit. Very expensive but they do accept Medicaid once personal funds are exhausted.
Visited Mom after Waterman's & took her Memory Journal with me. She was able to read from the Journal today which really surprised me. She was never able to read it before. Another positive change.2/29/00
Visited Mom for 15 minutes & then spent another hour with Yvonne talking about my concerns. Why am I causing myself so much grief? So many changes that I need to accept.3/1/00
I think I finally realized why I feel so bad.....not to excuse my actions & feelings....just an attempt to understand.....dealing with major changes in several areasAll of it just knocked me for a loop!
- the change in Mom's appearance - no wig & no teeth
- the change in Mom's environment - not a pretty place
- the change in our routine - no Mass or dinner on Sunday's
- the change in my hands-on care for Mom
3/8/00
Visited Mom. She had her wig on & dentures in. She looked so much better! What a difference! Christy showed me their Activity Room. They have lots of stuff to do. New furniture is ordered for the porch. I think I'm feeling better.3/15/00
Visited Mom without calling first. She had her wig on & dentures in so I guess she's wearing them routinely now. She was happy & talkative. New wicker furniture is in the sunroom. It looks nice. Mom is doing well & I'm feeling better.I'm feeling better & Mom is doing well so I guess I'll table any thoughts of moving her. Hope this is the right decision!